John Tomase Apology Letter
To Whom It May Concern:
As everybody knows by now, this past week Matt Walsh came forward and gave all his spygate tapes to the NFL. And unfortunately for me there was no tape of the Rams walk through practice before the 202 Superbowl. This of course is in direct conflict to the article that I wrote the day before this year’s Superbowl claiming that such a tape existed. An article that became the #1 story of the entire Superbowl week and put my name in lights. While the attention was great for me, this new revelation has obviously made me look like a total idiot and scumbag. Journalists, fans, and human rights advocates across the country have demanded that I stop being a pussy and come forward and explain myself. How could I publish an article that appears to be made up out of this air? If Matt Walsh wasn’t my anonymous source than who was it? Not only have I jeopardized my entire career but I am on the verge of putting the Herald out of business for good. Publications like Barstool Sports have called for a nationwide boycott until I am fired or suspended from my job. So in light of these recent developments, I have finally decided be a man and tell everybody my side of the story.
Let me start by saying this. I am not surprised in the least that Matt Walsh didn’t have a tape of the Rams walkthrough. But despite what he says he was my source! Granted I knew when I quoted him that he was a pathological liar. I mean it’s never a good sign when your source won’t go on the record because he’s afraid of being sued for lying. But I didn’t care about the truth. I just wanted a juicy story that would make headlines. Matt Walsh could have told me that he had a tape showing that Tom Brady was an alien and I would have printed it. He was just what the Doctor ordered for me. So after Walsh was turned down by every reporter in the country because he wasn’t credible enough source he ran out of options and finally gave me a call. I was last but certainly not least! We were the perfect team. A modern day Rat Pack if you will. I knew about this supposed “Rams” tape in back in September. But I laid in the weeds with it until I knew it would create the most controversy possible. And as a group we decided that the day before the Superbowl was our best chance to cause the most damage. So that’s when we dropped the bomb. Yeah I knew it was bullshit. But I didn’t care.
I think to really understand how I turned into the person I am today you have to look at my childhood. I never played a sport in my life. I guess this shouldn’t be surprising if you’ve actually seen what I look like. I’ve always been fat and out of shape. I was the kid that the athletes and bullies picked on from Elementary School all the way through High School. Even at Tufts people always managed to make fun of me. Whenever I didn’t get picked for a team at recess, I’d just go home and write stories. As a result I developed a vivid imagination as well as a hatred for the cool kids who got to play sports and got the girls. I think deep down in places I didn’t talk about parties I’ve always wanted my revenge. And there is no bigger bully to the media than Bill Belichick. He treated me like dirt my entire career just because he knew I didn’t know anything about football. I felt like I was back in High School getting laughed at by the cool kids. But I was a Herald writer now! This wasn’t supposed to be happening anymore. So I guess over the years my anger built up against him and I vowed that one day I’d get my revenge. I was like a time bomb waiting to explode.
Now I’m not going to sit here and blame my actions simply on my childhood experiences. I think being a sports writer in Boston played a huge role. I grew up reading and idolizing guys like Dan Shaughnessy, Ron Borges, Steve Buckley etc. These are some of the most famous sports writers no only in the city, but the entire country. And the one thing that I really learned from these guys is that it’s not enough just to be a good columnist in this town. You need to be a rock star. You haven’t done your job until you’ve somehow made yourself part of the story and a major center of controversy. If your phone isn’t ringing to appear on WEEI then you haven’t been outrageous enough. It’s like a constant game of who can top this and become the most talked about media personality in the city. Dan Shaughnessy is the king of this! He’s made a career out of writing articles that line his pocket. For years I’ve dreamed of being in that position.
The first time I decided to dabble with yellow journalism was back in 2005 when I was with the Lawrence Eagle Tribune covering the Red Sox. Basically I was stuck in a shit job going nowhere. I decided that it was now or never to make my move. So after a meaningless mid summer Red Sox game in which Manny Ramirez got hit by a pitch and was subsequently taken out I decided to make my move. Manny was the perfect target for me since he was a guy who wouldn’t fight back and I’d never have to confront on a 1 on 1 situation. Basically I ripped him a new asshole. I said he was giving the middle finger to fans, the organization and the President of the United States. I said Manny sucked in the clutch, is nothing more than a .260 hitter and didn’t work hard, blah, blah, blah. It was lies, lies, and more lies. But you know what happened? The Big Show called me and invited me on as a guest to talk about the article. Ha! Ha! Ha! It couldn’t have worked out any better! Naturally I parlayed my 15 minutes of fame into a gig with the Herald. My master plan was starting to come together and everything I had always believed was proving to be true. It doesn’t matter whether you make any sense in Boston as long as you make headlines.
Fast forward to 2008. My bosses at the Herald were all over me. I hadn’t written anything remotely interesting since I arrived at the Herald. WEEI wasn’t calling me anymore. People had all but forgotten about what I wrote about Manny. I needed something big. No, I needed something huge. And then Spygate broke. But I was always a day late and a dollar short. Mike Reiss was breaking stories for the Globe while I was still asleep dreaming of cheetos. I was getting my ass kicked. Combine this with the fact that Bill Belichick always treated me like dirt and it was once again time to make my move. So I ran with the Matt Walsh story even though I knew there wasn’t a shred of truth to it. Truth be told, all I wanted to do was make another Manny Ramirez like splash. I just wanted to get my name back in lights before the Superbowl. I figured my story would just go away like the Manny thing did in a couple weeks. But that was where I was wrong. Everybody picked up the story from ESPN, to Yahoo, to Fox News. It became National headlines. I knew my day of reckoning would come eventually. I mean it was only a matter of time until people found out it was all total bullshit.
So here I am today. I’ve been outed as a total fraud. The Herald hasn’t even allowed me to defend myself because they are afraid the Patriots are going to sue the paper for defamation and they don’t want me to say anything that can be used against us in a court of law. And let’s be honest, if the Patriots do sue us, they’d win in two seconds. I published an article that I knew was bogus just to makes a splash and hijack the Superbowl. So whatever happens happens. The bigger question is whether I’d do it again? And the answer is yes. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Because despite all the negativity and loss of credibility it’s still all people are talking about. And look around people. Boston is filled with frauds in the media industry. The bigger the fraud the bigger the star. So don’t worry about John Tomase. I’ll be just fine. Just keep clicking and reading my articles. The more you hate me the more money I make. The days of getting picked last at recess are over. People will know my name from now on and that’s all I ever wanted. I apologize for nothing!
Sincerely
John Tomase