Does Chris Sale Have A Belly Button Ring? An Investigation...

So Chris Sale just dropped this little fun fact to spice up your Saturday. As soon as I saw it I was *pretty* sure he was joking, but he’s a man from Florida who wears white sunglasses, cuts up his own shirts, and has a “Believe” tattoo so he really could just be a state college girl on Spring Break who’s got a hell of an arm. You never really know with him.

Of course, I immediately googled “Chris Sale shirtless,” something I’ve been longing to do forever and finally had a legitimate reason.

Hmmmmm suspicious covering up. Perhaps another angle?

More covering up?! The plot thickens!

Sadly, it appears that Chris does not have a belly button ring and I, for one, am disappointed. I never knew I wanted a pitcher with a pierced naval until now but I need a wild card like that on my team. You want to talk about a guy who can handle pressure? Friend, you find me a man who’s laid down bare backed and had the stones to let a minimum wage Claire’s employee attack his tummy with a needle in a mall. A guy who’s comfortable there is a guy who’s comfortable anywhere, including the mound of a World Series game. In fact, I feel like Chris should be forced to get one now to stop my sadness.

But maybe he means irritation from his wife’s? She’s from Florida as well and I believe they give all girls belly button rings right after they cut the umbilical cord, though I could have my facts mixed up.

UPDATE: This is a very strong point