Random Thoughts

I have a dream that one day Fox News will say "You know you just made it onto Barstool Sports" And the only way that is ever going to happen is if our readers keep sending us funny shit.

As a side note, do you think this reporter takes himself just a little too seriously? I have no problem with the shove. I actually love the shove. But how about laughing about it after instead of acting like you just got sexually violated.

Thanks to Jim for sending this along...

Nov. 22, 1986. Mike Tyson defeating Trevor Berbick to become the youngest heavyweight champion ever at age 20. At a time when boxing still mattered, Iron Mike was the scariest muthamucka on the planet. I don't know why this is only available in Japanese, but Tyson was terrifying in any language.

For all people who are wondering if there is Trivia tonight at Game On! the answer is yes.  Nothing stops trivia.    8pm at Game On!.

As we all know by now, Derek Jeter was passed over for AL MVP for the much more deserving Justin Morneau. This is horrible news for the Yankee since now, like the Sox of our youth, they have to satisfy themselves with individual awards since they no longer win championships. But as mentioned here last week, Jeter is at this very moment, drowning his sorrows in Jessica Biel's unbelieveable body.

One man's list of Jeter's Greatest Hits:

1. Jessica Alba
2. Biel
3. Vanessa Minnillo
4. Miss Universe Lara Dutta
5. Joy Enriquez
6. Cameron Diaz
7. Jordanna Brewster
8. Mariah Carey

Anyway, congratulations, Justin. Have fun with that trophy tonight.

If there's one thing I regret about the NFL adding a third game tomorrow night to go along with BC-Miami, it's that I won't have time to watch "The Office." On that note, help me out with a question. The subject is "Office" star Jenna Fischer. The issue is not "Is She Hot?" That question is long since decided; she is goddamned adorable. If any man dares to say otherwise, I will fight you.

The question is, does she belong on my The List? As we've discussed previously on this board, I only get five choices, and four spots are taken. Does Jenna's charming cuteness and million watt smile qualify her for a spot next to the likes of Bellucci, Beckinsale, Alba and Watts? Remember "She's not hot" does not qualify as an answer.

BC at Miami +4.5

I feel like this week has kind of proved just how little the City of Boston cares about college football.   I mean don’t look now, but the Superfans have a legitimate and I mean legitimate chance to win the ACC.    They have a mammoth Thanksgiving Night game against Miami at the “U”.  (What happened to Ole Miss vs. Miss State?) Anyway, if BC wins this game and Maryland beats Wake Forest at home on Saturday the Eagles will earn a berth in the ACC championship game vs. Georgia Tech.   But I’ve barely heard a whisper about the game. Instead everybody is talking about the fact that there are 3 NFL games on Thanksgiving so people can watch football all day and night.  Now I know what you’re saying;   BC vs. Georgia Tech for the ACC championship?  Who freaking cares?   The ACC is a joke.  Regardless, I’ve got to believe that this will be the best chance the Superfans ever have of winning the ACC so they better take advantage of it.   And I don’t care how bad the ACC is and how much BC doesn’t belong in the BCS; it’s still a nice accomplishment if they can pull it off.    So the question becomes can BC finally win a big game?   The Superfans are 4.5 pt favorites against Miami which should tell you how bad the Hurricanes are since BC has lost 14 straight to them.   And even though I’ll be rooting for BC, I just sense that this will be another typical BC choke job.  They never seem capable of winning when it really matters and I think it will be more of the same in this game.   The Superfans will outplay Miami, but make a couple huge mistakes which will cost them the game and the chance at the BCS.

The Pick – Miami

Rest of the Weekend Picks

Texas A+M at Texas -12.5

I like the Aggies here.  They’ve been playing everybody tough all season only to keep losing heartbreakers at the end of games.  Meanwhile Texas is coming off a crushing loss to Kansas State which took them out of the National Championship picture.    Obviously both teams will be ready for this game, but I think A+M has more to play for here.   Traditionally the Aggies have given Texas trouble even when they sucked and Texas was awesome.  This is the first time in like 5 years where the Aggies have a legitimate chance to win this game and I think they will.  I like A+M outright here.

The Pick – Texas A+M

LSU at Arkansas -1

LSU is the most over rated team in the most over rated conference.    I’m totally clueless on why they get so much respect from the bookmakers.   They could go on the road and play the 85 Bears and it would be a pick em.   Was anybody watching last week when they were 28 pt favorites at home and needed Overtime to beat Ole Miss?  

The Pick – Arkansas

ASU at Arizona - -3.5

I’m sure I was one of the few who stayed up last weekend to watch UCLA demolish Arizona State at Sun Devil Stadium.    (Kickoff was at 10:30.)   Anyway trust me when I say that Arizona State sucks.   Meanwhile Arizona is playing just about the best football in the conference coming off back to back huge upsets over Cal and Oregon.   I look for them to steam roll through this game and win by 20.

Mortal Lock – Arizona

Syracuse at Rutgers -14.5

This is my Thanksgiving Day hangover game of the week.   There is no way Rutgers will be ready for this game after getting whooped by Cincy last week.    You can say whatever you want about Syracuse, but they play hard every single game.   That should be enough to hang tight in this one.

The Pick – Orange

Florida at FSU +9.5

FSU is horrible as is the rest of the ACC.

The Pick – Florida

What Christmas season is to the retail industry, November is to the Anti-Manny lobby. This week alone, both Boston papers have had their top columnists run their annual "Manny is a cancer and needs to be run out of town" column. Siiigh...it's been six years of this, and every year it's the same old BS from the Boston press.

Gerry Callaghan wants him gone. "We may never know why he wants out of a city that worships him, warts and all, but if you’re the Red Sox, you don’t waste time asking questions. You pull the trigger before he changes his mind."

Dan Shaughnessy has had enough. "Sorry, folks. It's time for Manny to go. Time and again, he's made it clear that he doesn't want to play in Boston."

Here's the Manny Almanac. You can set your calendar to it; it's more accurate than an Atomic Clock:

• Late Feb/ Early March: Manny reports to Spring Training. He's not talking to the press, but he's in shape and everyone says he's the loosest and happiest he's ever been.
• Late March: He's not hitting.
• April: He's off to a slow start. On 'EEI they're wondering if there's something wrong with him. Maybe the fact that he's a mental train wreck and has the emotional stability of Michael Richards has finally affected his ability to hit.
• May/June/ Early July: He's absolutely raking. No one can get him out. He's driving in runs in bunches and clusters. Easily voted onto the All Star team.
• Mid July: Says he's hurt. Misses the last couple of games before the break and the All Star Game itself.
• Late July/ August: Resumes hitting.
• Labor Day: Pulls some kind of weirdness. Either asks for a day off, says he's hurt or fails to run out a ground ball. The sport pages and airwaves are filled with angry, rancorous screeds about how he's making $20 million and disrespecting the game and how guys like Francona and Schilling are sick of covering up for him.
• September: All is forgotten as Manny goes on a tear at the plate and in the field.
• November: It's Trade Manny Season again.

None of this is to suggest the Sox have to hold onto him at all costs. If the last five years in this town have taught us anything it's that anyone can be replaced. If Theo can flip Manny for a serviceable left fielder and, more importantly, some blue chip, sure thing pitching, I'm all for it. For the 103rd year in a row, the off season for the Sox should be all about putting together the best pitching staff in baseball and letting the hitting take care of itself. But to dump him just for the sake of dumping him because the sportswriters are tired of his act is friggin' lunacy.

I've been fooled, duped, tricked, deceived and even hoodwinked by some of these Youtube clips, but I'm 99.99% sure this is real. Even though it just can't be. But it is. It's some Bank of America execs "performing" U2's classic mix-tape hit, "One" in front of a group of employees now questioning their existence. Luckily El Presidente has yet to try this at a Barstool company meeting, but this is just unbelievable. It just can't be happening!

"One baaaank. One card..."

Imagine being in that room?? I was waiting for the camera to show the crowd at the end all hanging themselves in a mass suicide. Who could POSSIBLY think this was a good idea?? Somebody making more than me and you, that's who.

Thanks to "Granby Hot Sauce" for sending this clip.

I guess the rumor about the "Dirty Sanchez" was true. This is the cover of Screeches porn complete with a "Dirty Sanchez" scratch and sniff section which is arguably the grossest thing in the history of mankind.

Washington Post - David Blaine was put into a spinning gyroscope today in Times Square in NYC. They will shackle his arms and hands in on Thursday and then he will have until Friday to make his escape. If he makes it then 100 needy children will get a $500 spree from Target. The gyroscope will spin David around 24-hours a day.

He said, “This is more difficult than anything I’ve ever done,” Blaine said before he was loaded into the gyroscope, which was then hoisted 40 feet into the air. I’ve not tested it much. I will be learning how to do this as I’m doing it.”

 Man, David Blaine has some brass balls huh?   Is this gyroscope thing more difficult than his little “Drowned Alive” stunt?   Because I certainly didn’t forget that debacle.    He tried to hold his breath for like 10 minutes or something and needed people to jump into the snow globe and save his sorry ass after like 2 minutes.   Once you fail as a magician, that’s it.   It’s time to wrap it up move on.    Nobody wants to see him get out of a spinning gyroscope or whatever the hell it is.     In my book he should be dead to begin with.  I think it’s bullshit that people were allowed to help him in the Drowned Alive special.   You either escape or you die.  It’s that simple. You can't just move on to another stunt after you got your ass kicked by the last one.

In case you were wondering, this is not a bad time to be Tony Romo. Two weeks ago, he was NFC offensive player of the week. Last game against the unbeaten Colts started ugly for him when the first three drives ended fumble, 3-&-out, interception. But from there he rallied to go 10-for-11 in the second half with a 68-yard game-tying drive, an 80-yard go ahead score and another to kill the last three minutes of the game.

So what does a guy do to top that? According to Fox Sports:

He's even found time to make his way into the gossip columns. Talk of a budding relationship between Romo and Jessica Simpson has hit such a frenzy that an Internet gambling site is offering 3-2 odds they will soon be dating.

How about the rumors linking him and Simpson, which spread after he gave her dad tickets to the game in Arizona? "No comment," he said, smiling again and turning away from cameras, claiming he had to hurry off to a meeting.

"Romo has been the coolest dude around for a while," said linebacker Bradie James, who joined the club in 2003, same as Romo. "The way he's been playing is what we've always seen with him on the practice field. We all knew what he could do, but when you've got 11 beasts on the other side of the ball, we never knew how he would respond. He's responded well."

For the season, Romo has completed 68% of his passes. He's thrown for eight TDs. He's only thrown two INTs since his first game. His passer rating is an even 100, .5 points behind Peyton Manning for tops in the league.

So lets review: the guy takes over for an established veteran in mid-season. He's proven he can pull off a big upset. He makes quick decisions and takes care of the ball. His teammates love to follow him. Now he's boinking an incredibly hot Hollywood chick. Drew Bledsoe has to be asking himself "What the hell is it with my backups?"