The guy in the above photo, Derek Lindsay, holds three things sacred:

• his delts
• his ink
• his son never having to wait in line to meet fictional characters

Lindsay was at a Taunton McDonald's with his son when Ronald McDonald and Shrek showed up to meet and greet the little kids. Someone didn't get the memo and Lindsay's son was not moved immediately to the front of the line to meet the two sweaty pedophiles sporting the Ronald and Shrek costumes.

So Lindsay did what any father would do- he instructed his kid to shove the other kids out of the way. It's simple common sense, people. You're in a McDonald's and cartoon characters come out of nowhere. It's not a situation for decorum or delicacy; it's an every man for himself, grab your balls and pray type of situation. Lindsay recognized that. Unfortunately for him, another dad didn't grasp the severity of the situation.

Lindsay offered to explain to the angry dad why Lindsay, Jr. most deserved to be at the front of the line. And by "offered to explain" I mean he threatened to "break the guy's fucking jaw in front of his little pantywaist son." Lindsay ended up in jail for disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace.

There's a lesson to be learned here for all fathers. Make sure that you talk to your kids before you get to the McDonald's about how to barge to the front of the line if a cartoon character is there. Don't rely on verbal commands. Think ahead and come up with some nonverbal signals like touching your nose or injecting yourself with some HGH. Planning ahead is half the battle.

-Thanks to Chris for the heads-up