From a game report of Sunday's Cubs-Braves game:

The game got off to a scrappy start. Cubs starter Ted Lilly was ejected in the first inning after hitting Edgar Renteria with a pitch, causing the benches and bullpens to empty.

Moments later, Renteria retaliated. He smacked Cubs second baseman Mike Fontenot in the face with his right hand while stealing second.

Predictably, Cubs fans everywhere are all in high dudgeon about this. Within hours, the Cubbies blogosphere exploded with indignant whining, name calling (one site called Edgar "a bush league punk) and demands that something be done about the vicious and uncontrollable Supervillain Renteria.

But for Sox fans, there can only be one reaction: "What the-?! Edgar Renteria? Our Edgar Renteria?" Is this the same guy who did the Thorazine Shuffle through an utterly forgettable '05 season? The guy who made Theo fall in love by batting his droopy, lifeless, disinterested bedroom eyes at him? Was there an alien abduction, or is this the same Edgar Renteria who last season told the world he was so much happier in Atlanta because he couldn't stand the pressure of playing in Boston...while the Braves were wallowing in last place?

I used to cringe when players in other cities used to say they didn't want to play in Boston. Now I wear such declarations like a Badge of Honor. Edgar, you know why there's so much pressure here? Because baseball matters here. We love the Sox and we want players who want to win as much as we do. We want guys who get it. Who love never seeing an empty seat in the ball park and seeing big throngs at their public appearances and crowds gathered around the players parking lot after every game. We want Roy Hobbs sitting in his hospital johnny choking up when he says "I just wish Dad was...God I love baseball."

I know you think you had it tough here. But you got off easy. You walked through your only season here like Randall P. McMurphy after the lobotomy and you got a scant smattering of boos. All it would've taken is one play...just one... like you delivered Sunday and we would've made you a folk hero. But you couldn't muster even that. Now you're doing it in Atlanta, for fans who barely give a shit. Maybe the Cubs fans are right. You are a punk.