Bostonherald.com -  A monkey named Ayla will throw out the ceremonial first pitch before next Saturday’s game at Fenway Park[map]against Texas. It is part of the Helping Hands: Monkey Helpers for Disabled, Inc., outing at Fenway.

Huh?  I don’t get it.  A monkey?  A real monkey?   Listen I’m all for charity and shit like that, but can we at least get a human being out there?  Is that too much to ask? How about one of the disabled kids?    They got to have as good a fastball as a monkey right?   This has to be a Lucchino special.