Random Thoughts

That's two subpar playoff performances in a row for the great CC Sabathia with tonight's outing qualifying as pathetic. Man is this guy a fraud or what? But the series isn't over yet because Carmona is the real deal. Tomorrow is do or die for the Indians.

P.S. - What the hell was Steven King doing at the game? One second he's reading a book and the next second he's on his feet cheering for a strikeout. Weird doesn't even begin to describe it.

It's all Red Sox the rest of the day as they open the ALCS tonight against the Tribe. And if the weather is any indication, tonight will be a strange ass game. The Sox are -190 for the series as well as -190 tonight. In other words we're pretty freaking big favorites which I think is a little bit nuts. I think if these teams played 100 times it would come out pretty close to 50/50. The only place I see a really huge difference is the closers. This series could shake out a million different ways and nothing would surprise me. Should be fun....

Kid Cleveland Does A Tale of the Tape on the two teams

Well it was only a matter of time before Lou started to accessorize. Last week he did a freakin' magic trick, this week he puts on a hat. Now I would've bet my Barstool salary that Lou was going to give a pep-talking to USC after what happened last week vs. Stanford. Wrong again. In this week's speech entitled "The Rules of Life", Lou doesn't want #1 LSU to be content when they play Kentucky tomorrow afternoon in Lexington. Last week he tried to take down the Tigers, this week he tries to build them back up. What a motivator. Lou's "record" now is 1-5 on the year, the only team that won for him was South Florida and that was El Presidente's Mortal Lock of the 21st Century, so you can't really blame him for that. The pick: Kentucky +9.5

First of all I love the video in the beginning. You'd think ND was 52-0 or something. I mean let's not kid ourselves. This is NOT a big game. Notre Dame is incapable of playing in a big game this year. But that's not the point of this random thought. Listen, I could give a shit less about BC.   But this was painful to watch.   Hey Jeff Weinstein, wake the fuck up!    How do you let yourself get owned by some dork from Notre Dame like this?  You have every possible argument working in your favor to mash this guy and you sit there like a fucking pussy giving ND all the respect in the world.   You basically just let this kid bend you over and fuck you in the ass and said thank you when it was all over.  What a disgrace!    Like I said I don’t care about BC, but I wanted to jump in half way through and make this ND kid cry.    Honestly how do you not mention at least once that you’ve beaten ND six straight times?    How do you not bring that up?  It’s mind boggling.  It’s honestly impossible not to mention that.

PS. – How is Jewish kid going to know who Jesus is rooting for?

Tara Conner

Miss USA

Miss Universe

Tila Tequila

I’ve been super busy lately trying to turn Barstool Sports into a global conglomerate, but people shouldn’t doubt for a second that I haven’t been watching MTV.     This week the network finally unveiled two brand new shows that I’d been counting down the days for.  First was Shot of Love, not to be confused with Rock of Love, which features Tila Tequila and her bisexual pursuit of happiness.    It pretty much had everything you’d expect in a show that features dudes and chicks competing against each other for the love of a bisexual Myspace Diva.  There was making out, fights, blah, blah, blah.   You know the drill.    Even though all these shows are starting to blend together I’ll probably still watch it.   The second show was Pageant Place which I thought had a real shot to be one of the all time greats.  It features Miss Universe, Miss USA, Miss Teen USA and former Miss USA Tara Connor all living in one house owned by Donald Trump.    And keep in mind Tara Connor hates Miss Teen USA because she tattled on Tara last year and told Trump that Tara does coke and constantly has bloody noses. This was after the two of them used to be best friends and got caught making out at parties. Apparently the reason Miss Teen USA snitched was because she thought Tara was moving in on her boyfriend. Anyway with all this drama how can this show be bad right?   Well I got to say I was pretty disappointed. There was absolutely no T&A which kind of defeats the whole purpose of the show. I mean I'm not watching these bitches to see what their personalities are like. Regardless, the premiere episode did feature one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen on reality TV.   All the chicks showed up at the airport to fly to some event and Miss Universe forgot her passport and ID.   You’d think Miss Universe would know the drill by now, but apparently not.  Regardless, despite having no identification she still managed to talk her way onto the plane without even giving a blowjob.   All she did was show her Miss Universe sash.   Way to go homeland security!    I hope the fucking terrorists weren’t watching because they would have learned a valuable lesson here.    Just show a sash at the security desk and you can waltz right through security.    Honestly how did this happen?

I owe Richard Branson a big thank you.  I didn’t realize that being the CEO of a major international empire gives you the right to manhandle chicks?  I’m totally going to start doing this.  I mean if Richard Branson can do this than so can I right?  After all, it’s like we’re two peas in a pod.     He owns the Virgin Empire and a private Caribbean Island.   I own Barstool Sports and the Astrovan.   Enough said.   Let the groping commence.

Boston.com HARTFORD, Conn. --Want to see the Boston Red Sox play the Cleveland Indians for the American League Championship Series?  You just might get a chance if you donate $20.04 to Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd's longshot Democratic presidential campaign. The amount is because 2004 is when the Red Sox last won the World Series. Dodd is a lifelong Red Sox fan who says he'll raffle off two playoff tickets next Thursday to see Game 6 at Fenway Park. The only catch is that you have to sit with him for the game. If Game 6 isn't necessary, the winner will get to go to Game 2 of the World Series instead. And if the Red Sox get eliminated before Game 6 of the championship series, the winner gets free airfare to go to Iowa or New Hampshire and watch Dodd campaign.

I actually think this is a pretty cool idea.   I like the fact that you got to go to the game with Chris Dodd.  I mean it kind of sucks but at the same time it shows that he’s a real fan.  I’m sure he could have raised more money if he sold the pair together, but the man wants to watch the Sox.   The only problem with this scheme is his consolation prize if the Sox get bounced by Cleveland in less than 6 games.    This has to be the worst consolation prize in the history of consolation prizes right? Who wants to fly to New Hampshire or Iowa to watch Chris Dodd campaign.   I’d rather sit through a root canal.   And how do you fly to New Hampshire anyway?   I mean does Logan fly to Manchester?    Bottom-line is that if the Sox lose in less than six you should get your money back, end of story.   

Well just like I predicted, if the Rockies got past Jake Peavy in the one game playoff it would be lights out for the rest of the National League.  Now it’s all but a forgone conclusion that El Pres is going to cash the greatest prediction in the history of sports.  (Sorry Woody, facts are facts)   Yes, I'm so confident that I don't even care about jinxing it. There is no jinx that can change the fate of the NLCS. Anyway, in case you somehow forgot I told everybody to bet on the Rockies to win the National League way back on June 21^st when the odds were 30-1 at the time.   I’m curious how many Stoolies actually took advantage of this prediction?   I fully expect at least 3 shirt orders from whoever took advantage of my genius.   Don’t worry though it’s not too late to get in on the action.  You could have bet the Rockies at -135 to start the series.   And now they are probably 3-1 favorites.  Not exactly 30-1, but hey beggars can’t be choosers.  Anyway the point of this random thought isn’t to rub people’s faces in my pick.  The point of this random thought is that I’m still amazed listening to people talk as if the American League is so superior to the National League.   Let me tell you something folks.   Whoever wins the ALCS is going to have their hands full with the Rockies.   In fact, if I took my heart out of the equation I’d bet on the Rocks to win the whole thing.  I honestly believe they are the best team in baseball.     It’s LUDICROUS for anybody to think they don’t have a legit chance to win the title.  You don’t win 9,000 games in a row by accident.  Their lineup mashes and they have very good pitching.    It’s beyond me how people keep saying they have no superstars.   Matt Holliday and Todd Helton are superstars.    Their pitching has been lights out.    The only people who don’t think the Rockies are good or that this is a fluke simply haven’t been paying attention.   

Anyway, onto the ALCS.    Our buddy Kid Cleveland has put together a Tale of the Tape between the Sox and Tribe which is worth the read.  Also we will be doing a live thread for the game tonight with periodic updates.   Let’s Go Sox!

This weeks video by our buddy Steve B has UB a little concerned. Picking the Jets week after week only to have them at 1-4 is clearly taking a toll. Now he's actually going after Chad Pennington and it looks like he is going to spend the rest of the season throwing out picks AGAINST the Pats just to have something to do as the J-E-T-S sink further into last place. Steve B has told me that he will be attending the Halloween bash with a bunch of fellow Jets fans so now we have that to look forward to. Hopefully the Jets haven't driven him completely insane by then like Marlin Brando in Apocalypse Now:

"Chad, you're not a quarterback. You're an errand boy for grocery clerks."

Charlotte.com - NASCAR fans might seem rabid, but are they actually contagious? Getting a hepatitis shot is standard procedure for travelers to parts of Africa and Asia, but some congressional aides were instructed to get immunized before going to Lowe's Motor Speedway in Concord and the racetrack in Talladega, Ala.Rep. Robin Hayes, a Republican from Concord, took umbrage when he heard about it. "I have been to numerous NASCAR races, and the folks who attend these events certainly do not pose any health hazard to congressional staffers or anyone else," Hayes added.

It’s about fucking time the Government starts doing something to help this country.  Hopefully this is just the first step.     I’ve been clamoring for legislation like this for years.   It’s just flat out stupid to allow Rednecks to go to NASCAR events and spread their diseases all over the place.  I don’t even think NASCAR fans should be allowed to procreate.    And I know it sounds drastic but I’d be in favor of bombing all NASCAR events just to wipe out all the people who like it.  It would be the best thing for the future of this country.   I’m sure we could blame it on Al Qaeda and nobody would think twice.    People think I’m joking but NASCAR is slowly taking over this country.  I mean you can’t even go to Fenway now without being exposed to NASCAR.  One second you’re at a baseball game and the next thing you know you’re in the hospital with Hep C.  I’m telling you we need to put a stop to this before it’s too late.

You'd think it would be getting harder and harder to find people dumping on the Patriots. First of all, they're 5-0. (And that's 5-0 in the AFC, not 5-0 like Dallas is, playing against the NFL's version of Div 1-AA. ) Yeah, you'd think that, but you'd be wrong. As the 2007 season rolls on, and you think finding examples of people dumping on the Pats and calling them cheats and frauds would be like looking for a golf ball deep in the woods buried under piles of autumn leaves, someone tees another one up for you (and the Pats) to pull out the driver and stripe down the fairway.

Mike Vrabel can get cut by the Steelers, become a starting LB with the Pats, catch nine TD passes and win three Super Bowls, but one guy you just beat calls him "classless":
"To dive for a guy's knees like that, and almost take out the quarterback? When the game is already over with? I don't know if the refs were kind of lackadaisical because it was the end of the game, but regardless ... if you're going to allow stuff like that to go on ... I thought we're trying to clean the game up. I wasn't too fond of that."-Eric Steinbach

And Steinbach has company:
"68,756 people in the building knew the play was dead. Millions of television viewers knew the play was dead. Everyone knew the play was dead, except for Mike Vrabel, who dove after the ball like a homeless man going after a 20-piece Chicken McNuggets...If the play wasn't dirty, it was exceptionally dumb...."-aol.com fanhouse

Rodney Harrison sticks up for Vrabel? Who is he to talk?:
"The Browns were not happy, and the incident prompted Steinbach to call Vrabel dirty, which prompted Rodney Harrison, an authority on dirty, to defend Vrabel. Without spending too much time thinking about what a close bond Rodney Harrison and Mike Vrabel must share, Rodney Harrison vouching for a guy being a clean player ... well, I don't know if Rodney's too adept at recognizing clean play, as he's never actually seen it."-aol.com fanhouse

Because Rodney is really full of it:
Vrabel could've cut Steinbach's right leg off, punched his wife in the stomach, and then used a branding iron to burn the words "I LOVE LITTLE BOYS" on Steinbach's forehead, and Harrison would've said, "Hey, that's just part of the game." -ibid

Canadians might have 3 downs and 20 yard end zones, but even they think the Pats are filthy little spawns of Satan:
"Whether Vrabel's move on Thomas was intentional or not, to Steinbach, it's yet another spot on the Patriots' once-impeccable image, which seems to be getting more tarnished as the months pass."- The Canadian Press

Vrabel the Impaler has been unleashing his reign of terror forever:
"On Nov. 14, 1999, Vrabel, then with the Steelers, whacked Browns quarterback Tim Couch late in a game at Pittsburgh...Vrabel was interested in joining the team he grew up rooting for, Cleveland, as a 2001 free agent. He was disappointed when then-Browns coach Butch Davis, in his view, basically blew him off."-Steve Doerschuk, The Canton Repository

1-3 teams who were steamrolled by the Pats think they're phonier than a Chappaquidick neck brace:
"When you win, of course everything is great. The Patriots have this aura about them that oh, they're such a great team and have this great team chemistry. When you win, of course everything is going to work. Everybody thinks they're the best team in the NFL, so great." - T.J. Houshmandzadeh

And Internet Cowboys are rooting for...the Cowboys. Both in pointless prose and meterless poetry:
"i want to see how brady takes a few hits, cause, oh.....he WILL get hit.. i like how brady acts surprised every time he gets sacked. he makes it seem like he truly believes it's against the rules to hit him."- guy on boards.espn.go.com

"There once was a team from Foxboro
Whose coach has illegal video
Most of their fans are jokes
On Sunday their team chokes
Thanks to guys like Newman and Romo"
-Guy on ESPN.com Cowboys message board

If someone could post this in the Texas Stadium locker room, it would go a lot further than "Getcha Popcorn Ready." Thanks.

Boston.com - The roar of subway cars and chords of amateur musicians at the T station will now face competition from Neil Diamond songs, 1970s trivia, and live playoff updates from Fenway Park. It comes from T-Radio, an experiment that began yesterday at three stations and may someday broadcast on every subway platform in Eastern Massachusetts. The volume went up and down erratically in the first few minutes, drowning out conversation. But Grabauskas (T Dude) promised a discreet radio station that would allow people to talk and think if they so choose. He said microphones that will be installed throughout the system can pick up ambient noise levels and adjust the broadcast volume accordingly. The rest of the play list: top 40, Motown, classic rock, Latin pop. In between, local reporters and personalities, including one reporter from the Globe, will offer celebrity gossip, suggestions for tourists, dining tips, and advice for the weekend.

T Radio huh?   I’m not sure how I feel about this.   I guess my initial reaction is that there are probably more pressing concerns than adding David Allen Bouche to the Park Street terminal considering the MBTA is millions of dollars in debt.   I mean how about fixing the air in the underground stations so it doesn’t feel like you are suffocating to death.  Or how about hiring a T Bouncer to pummel people who bring backpacks onto the train or who try to exit before the train has stopped moving?  Now those are a couple causes I could get behind.   In any event one thing is for sure.   I don’t trust this automatic broadcast volume control system as far as I can bowl it.   I mean if the MBTA can’t fix the megaphone in the train how am I supposed to trust them with operating their own radio station?  Therefore it’s not even remotely surprising to hear that the sound was fluctuating erratically the first couple days.    Imagine being in the terminal when this happened?  People must have thought they died and went to T Hell.

Much more Sofia here...

Who do you want to Wake Up With? Ub@barstoolsports.com