Random Thoughts

Well we started the day with a Pats video so I thought it would only be fitting to end the day with a Pats video. This time from a midget. Call me crazy but I prefer the understated elegance of the Singing Plumber.

Hopefully we'll see you tonight at Trivia at Game On! Post Time 8pm. And don't be late because this new trivia guy doesn't fuck around.

- Video from Red Sox Monster

Click Here For the Answer

Introducing Danene from North Kingston.   Yet another UMass student.  The Local Smokeshow of the Day feature is being dominated lately by the Minutemen.  I may have to send a bus down there or something for our Mardi Gras Party.  Anyway, after a great deal of thought and consideration I think I've decided I'm going to stalk Danene.   Seriously she has a total Hollywood Face. You just don't see faces like this every day of the week.

Keep the Smokeshow Nominations coming!   Send all local hotties to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com.   As a reminder we do need permission to post these girls pictures so if you know their full names or have a myspace or facebook page this helps me avoid being called an Internet Predator and having Chris Hanson show up at my house.

PS – Is there any doubt our Smokeshow Party is going to be harder to get into than the Superbowl? 

Click for more pics of Danene and Clyde the Glide

From the NY Post:

A Rockland County hockey mom had steamy sex romps with two of her son's classmates - on the same weekend - and engaged in boozy, drug-fueled bashes with five more kids, according to a stinging indictment released yesterday.

Beth Modica - a 44-year-old former prosecutor and the wife of a local police chief - pleaded not guilty to five felonies, including rape, and 30 other misdemeanors stemming from her alleged illicit summer of sex in cars, sex in the boys' homes and sex amid pot-smoking and underage drinking. Modica had intercourse with a 16-year-old boy - believed to be a Suffern HS football player - and oral sex with a 15-year-old schoolmate on the same weekend in July.

In the words John Greenleaf Whittier, "Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been.'" How great would this story be if Beth Modica didn't look like she'd lost an acid fight? If Beth were even moderately attractive, we'd be making room for her in the pantheon of the all time morally-bankrupt degenerates. She has the heart, the desire, the depravity, and the utter absence of judgement you want in a sex-crazed mom. Beth is the Rudy Ruttiger of predators. She's five-foot nuthin', a hundred and nuthin', but without a shred of female attractiveness. If you put her heart in, say, Erica Chevillar's body, she'd be the best there ever was in this game. Instead, she's just a creepy nut job. Breaking down her numbers:

Looks: 1
Moral Compass/ Bad Judgement: Sex, drugs, oral sex, 30+ counts, multiple partners... A solid 8.
Intangibles: A former prosecutor who undoubtedly sent pedophiles to jail? Give her a 9 for that.
Overall: Like height and speed, you can't coach looks. A 3.

Thanks to elvis.

"Coming to America"

VS

"I Am Legend"

VS

"Back to the Future 2"

As soon as the Giants beat Green Bay with an overtime FG in the NFC Championship game, word went like across the internet like a Hayden Panettierre upskirt that in the 1998 movie "Coming to America," Eddie Murphy describes that very thing.

Still other people who watch movies way too closely noted that "I Am Legend" predicts the Patriots will beat the G-Men in the Super Bowl. Apparently early on in the film, which takes place in 2009, a TV is showing a news update about a cure for cancer, when across the bottom of the screen is a crawl that says "Giants lost to the Patriots for the second time this season, 23-7." When you consider that the way the NFL sets up their schedule, the only way the Pats and Gints could play twice would be if they met in the Super Bowl, and they're about to do so, their second game against each other in the eight weeks or so since "IAL" came out... that is borderline creepy.

And these episodes call to mind another movie coincidence/ psychic occurence from "Back to the Future 2." According to urban legend, Marty McFly brings a 1985 sports almanac back with him to the '50's. Biff Tannen is thumbing through it when he says to himself "Florida wins the World Series in 1997. Yeah right." This was another story that shot around the net as soon as the Marlins won the Series in '97, and again when the Fish won in 2003. Unfortunately, this is one of those times where the truth gets in the way of the good story. In truth, McFly goes to 2015, and sees a holographic news report about the Cubs sweeping "Miami," and Miami's logo is an alligator, not a gamefish.

Still, that's not bad considering the Marlins were still five years away from existence when "BttF 2" came out. And they could've just as easily ended up like the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, who certainly won't be winning a championship in eight years or ever. Whereas you don't have to be Cris Angel to know that the Pats will beat the Giants in the Super Bowl. So which movie prediction is the most eerie? Personally I don't think any of them have over the part in "Superman" where he's rocketed to Earth as a child, which foreshadowed the arrival of Tom Brady.

Last January the late great Jamie Chisholm posted the above picture of Tim Tebow with a ridiculously hot chick who he and everybody else assumed was Tebow’s girlfriend.  After all who else would get the privledge of nailing a chick that looked like this besides the QB of the National Champion Florida Gators?   Nobody right?  The rest is what people in the business call Internet History.  Virtually every blog on the planet picked up on the picture and did a little piece on it.  Then With Leather upped the ante by finding another picture of Tebow’s supposed girlfriend, this time wading in the ocean with the biggest set of boobs in the history of mankind.   (See below picture)

Naturally this once again caused Internet chaos as bloggers across the globe couldn’t stop talking about Tebow’s dime piece.    Unfortunately the only problem with the picture that With Leather posted was that it was a totally different chick.   The girl in the water is British boob model Lucy Pinder and not Tebow’s chick.   And while With Leather did clear up this mistake right away, this hasn’t stopped idiots like Dennis and Callahan from picking up on this story a year later and mangling it to pieces.   I’m guessing it will be another year until D&C figure out that it is two different girls.     Anyway, since we helped make the Tebow chick a blog icon, I thought it would be cool to try and find her.   Surprisingly it wasn’t that difficult.   Her name is Erin Drewes and she is now an El Prez facebook friend.    More importantly not only isn’t she Tim Tebow’s girlfriend, but she’s never even hooked up with him   She is just a hot UF coed who happened to see Tebow out one time and got her picture taken with him.    And she seemed totally mystified by all the attention she received from that famous photo. But in any event she was a good sport about the whole thing and gave me permission to post some more pictures of her.   So here we go.  It’s time to catch up with Tim Tebow’s hot non girlfriend Erin from Florida.

PS - If Dennis and Callahan want me to send them a clean copy of the Tebow picture without our logo on it, I’d be happy to do it.  I just think it looks sloppy when you try to cut a logo out.  Almost like you’re trying to hide giving credit or something.

Click Here For More Photos of Erin

I know this blog has nothing to do with anything, but I’m pretty sure I just broke the record for the worst burnt mouth of all time.   Does Guinness Book of World Records have a category for this?   If not they should.   Anyway, I just got a 3^rd degree burn from Stouffers French Bread Pizza.    Now I’m not an idiot.   I knew all about Stouffer’s reputation going in.  I mean they are like the poster child for burned mouth syndrome.  Every time you eat it, it is like it is like playing Russian roulette with your mouth.  As a result, I let this motherfucker cool for 45 minutes before I ate it.   45 minutes!  I was actually able to touch the tray it was cooked on with no problem before I took a bite.    But it still ripped my mouth to shreds.   And you know what?  I wasn’t even mad.  Sometimes you just got tip your cap to the other team because they are better than you.  I mean I knew exactly what Stouffers was doing and I still couldn’t stop it.    It was like the old Green Bay Packers Power Sweep.     I was totally helpless. As a side note, I wonder if NASA can keep shit as hot as long as that top layer of cheese in Stouffers?  I just got to believe that is like alien technology or something.

13 points!  Are the Pats really favored by 13 points?    Now I don’t want to sound like sore winner here, but I’m fucking sick and tired of these outrageous lines.  Yeah, we beat the Redskins, Bills, and Dolphins by a combined 9,432 points to zero earlier this year.  But that was a long freaking time ago.   In case you haven’t noticed the Pats have only covered once in their last 8 games.  This is despite the fact that they are the best team in the history of the world.  So something just isn’t right.   Why are the lines still so freaking high?  Who is still betting on the Pats beside us?  Enough is enough already.   Yeah, I know everybody hates Boston and I know everybody is jealous of us, but it’s just not fair.  This line should be 7 or 8, not 13.  I mean we’ve won our last 3 superbowls by a field goal each time.    If there was any decency in this world Congress would step in and adjust the line to 3 just based on that fact.   Sure we may win by 20, but that’s not the point.     We deserve not only a perfect season, but we also deserve to cover while we’re doing it.   Is that too much to ask?

PS - I wrote this before the line moved to 12.

Well I’m proud to announce that Trivia Night is officially back at Game On! I think everybody who went last week will say that the new trivia guy is great.  He runs a tight trivia ship and that’s exactly the way I like it.    So if you’re looking for a great way to spend a Wednesday Night we encourage all Stoolies young and old to come to Game On tonight!  If we can’t build this thing back up to 30 teams strong within a couple weeks, then every Stoolie should hang their head in shame.   We probably had 15-20 teams last week and per usual Team Barstool was no threat to win the 100 dollar prize and qualify for the tournament of champions.  However there are whispers that Manzo cost us the victory.  The last question of the night (the super duper bonuspalooza) was “What 1987 movie led the world with the most video sales that year and also featured a line that became so popular that it was used in everyday speech.”    Manzo claimed that the answer was Ghostbusters.   Now while I agreed with him that Ghostbusters was popular, I couldn’t think of one line in particular that really stood out from the movie so I didn’t think that could be it.  But Manzo vehemently argued that “He slimed me” was on par with all famous movie one liners like “I’ll Make Him An Offer He Can’t Refuse” and “We’re Going To Need A Bigger Boat.”  This naturally sparked a heated debate in which we argued about whether people across the country were saying “He Slimed Me” after Ghostbusters was released.   In fact it got so bad I think a couple bets were placed on what the Stoolies would think. So here goes.

Vote 1 for you think "He Slimed Me" is a universally known tag line from Ghostbusters and vote 10 for keep on not blogging Manzo.

PS – The Answer to the question was Dirty Dancing with the line being “Nobody Puts Baby in A Corner”.  I was kicking myself when I heard this because the First Lady uses this line at least twice a day.  

As I’m sure everybody knows by now, the big news of yesterday was the sudden death of Heath Ledger who died in an apparent OD situation.   Now I got to be honest here.  I kind of saw this one coming.   After all anybody who dumps Scarlet Johansson for Michele Williams (aka the ugly chick from Dawson’s Creek) is clearly hiding some deep dark secrets in their soul.  But that’s really neither here nor there.    Instead the point of this random thought is I’m wondering whether people think Heather Ledger’s death qualifies as a phone call death?  Because the First Lady thought it was important enough to disturb me while I was doing my paper route to break the news.  This is how our conversation went;

Me:  Hello

First Lady:  Guess What?

Me: What?

First Lady:  Heath Ledger died

Me:  Oh yeah?

First Lady:   Yeah.

Me: So what else is going on?

First Lady:  Nothing. I was just calling to tell you he died.

Me: Ok.  I guess I’ll see you tonight.

So naturally this conversation got me thinking whether Heath really deserved his own death phone call?  I’ve got to vote no here.    I just think that the celebrity death phone call should be reserved for the crème de le crème of celebrities.   If Lindsey Lohan or Britney Spears bite the bullet then I want to know about it right away.   But Heath Ledger?   Sure it’s sad, but I can read about it in the morning paper.   I mean if we’re going to start calling people when guys like Heath Ledger die pretty soon we’ll be calling people when Carrot Top or Brett Michaels dies.  No, I don’t like it.   The celebrity death phone call should be reserved for maybe 20 people in Hollywood and that’s it.

Anyway I’m curious to hear what the Stoolies think about this one.   Vote 1 for Heath deserves the phone call and 10 for no phone call.

The guy at Red Sox Monster sent me this youtube late last night right before I went to bed. And I swear to god I woke up at 4am with this song in my head. Now I may not understand all the words right right in the beginning, but the chorus is damn catchy. I don't think anybody can deny that. So don't be surprised if you see Mike Paguin playing at our Mardi Gras party on Feb 7th. I mean he is just a total triple threat. Singer, Dancer, Songwriter. Tough to compete with shit like that. I just hope we can afford him.

It was the early '90s. A time of fear in America. A time of turmoil in the Middle East, economic recession, racial strife and the OJ trial (the first one). The federal government added to the growing unrest when they suspended the First Amendment and mandated that every magazine in America had to have Cindy Crawford on the cover of every issue. The nadir of the crisis was 1993, when Pepsi used the already horribly over-exposed Cindy in the ads for Super Bowl XXVII and again the following year. This sparked such anger among the populace that the people revolted in the so-called "OK, Cindy. We Get It...You're Really Pretty. Now Please Go Away" Uprising.

I especially like the ad with the little kids, since it's borderline Contributing to the Delinquency of Minors. The lads must've known Cindy from her appearances on the cover of "Highlights."

Click here for a gallery of Cindy pictures...