Random Thoughts

Barstool, sentimental fools that we are, continues its tribute to our favorite holiday, Valentine's Day by saluting the love of athletes and their insanely hot women. 

This is Abigail Clancy, who's married to some British guy none of us have ever heard of. But he gets paid to kick a ball. Click here to see more of Abigail...

Introducing Jenna from Canton. Are people noticing how I'm mixing up blonds with brunettes and shit like that? It's the little stuff like this that separate the run of the mill smut peddlers from the all star smut peddlers. And I'd like to think I qualify as the latter. Anyway Jenna is totally in my wheelhouse in terms of looks. Dark and exotic and totally intimidating. If I saw her out at a bar I'd spent at least half an hour talking about how I was going to talk to her but wouldn't get within five feet. That's kind of the extent of my game when I see girls I like.

Hopefully we'll meet a ton of new smokeshows at our Mardi Gras party tonight. But we still need more nominations. It's sales 101. We can never have a big enough pipeline. And in case you're wondering the total on how many former smokeshows show up tonight is 7.5. Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click Here For More Pics of Jenna

The Herald has learned today that Red Sox right-hander Curt Schilling has a significant shoulder injury that could end the veteran’s season and is causing tension and friction between the player and the team. While neither Schilling nor Sox officials could be reached for comment, baseball sources have indicated that the club has at least inquired about the possibility of voiding the one-year, $8 million contract Schilling signed last November. It is not known to what lengths the Sox have gone on the matter, but their threat has been serious enough to create a conflict between Schilling and the Red Sox. While the precise nature of Schilling’s injury is not known, it is believed that the right-hander is suffering from an injury to the rotator cuff and/or labrum that might require surgery.

First of all, the injury. If this story is true... and I concede that any story is true as long as they use the word "could," as in " this could end Schilling's season" or "Scarlett Johanssen could show up to the Madri Gras party and beg me to motorboat her"... it would be a blow for the Sox, but hardly a fatal one. They brought back Schilling to help the club, not be their ace or an indispensable part. No one was expecting 32 quality starts out of the guy. Just to contribute from the 5th spot of the rotation, being skipped over a lot while they develop Lester and Bucholz, and more than anything be ready for October. Let's say there is some truth to this... we have no idea right now... and he's able to put it together in time for some playoff starts, this is much ado about nothing.

Now as to the rest of this story, it sounds like pure yellow journalism. Why does the Herald think we'd buy this crap about "conflict" between Schilling and the Sox and "what lengths the Sox have gone on the matter"? This is the paper that puts money in John Tomase's bank account every week. Therefore I'm just going to assume they're trying to stir the pot. From what I know about Schilling, and the Sox... and the Herald... this is probably nothing more than his shoulder is acting up, they asked the league how much they'll owe him if he can't pitch this year and that's where it is at this point. And if there's a "conflict" it's nothing more than them wondering how much they owe him and him saying, "All the guaranteed money. I passed a physical."

By the way I checked for Schill's take on this on 38pitches. He says you should vote for McCain.

Ka-Pow! Listen I've never watched Nip/Tuck in my life but I may start after this. For non-Spanish Channel basic cable, I'm not sure legally they can do any better than this. And to think "Silk Stalkings" was considered risque in the 90's...

-thanks to Chest Rockwell for the tip

CHAPPAQUA - A naked martial arts expert battled police on Hardscrabble Road, absorbing two Taserings and swiping a cop's baton before he was finally taken down by four officers. The man, 28-year-old Peter Lu of Peekskill, is being examined in the psychiatric unit at the Westchester Medical Center, where authorities arraigned him this afternoon. The fight took place shortly before 6 p.m. yesterday, after the completely naked man inexplicably showed up and started banging on a woman's front door. The woman called police, and Mount Pleasant Police Officer Frank Cavallaro responded. Lu, seeing the officer, came charging. "It was sort of a police officer's worst nightmare," said Police Chief Louis Alagno. Cavallaro used a stun gun to immobile Lu, who fell to the ground. The officer then ordered him to place his hands behind his back. Lu refused, so the officer Tasered him again. Lu complied this time, putting his hands behind his back. But when Cavallaro went to handcuff him, Lu started fighting again. In the ensuing melee, Lu knocked the Taser cartridge out of the officer's hand, disabling the device.The officer then lifted his baton and swung at Lu, who knocked the stick to the ground, picked it up and "came at the officer," Alagno said. "It's apparent he had martial arts training based on the moves he was using," the chief said.

Ah, the old martial arts excuse.   This is my go to line whenever I encounter somebody who wants to fight me at a bar.  I just run like a little sissy and then tell everybody that he knew Kung Fu.  Nobody can argue with that.  I mean who in their right mind is going to fight a guy who knows Kung Fu?    

Click here for the answer...

Las Vegas Now - Former Miss Nevada Katie Rees is in trouble again. This time she's been arrested. Rees was pulled over for speeding overnight. Officers tell Eyewitness News that when she was stopped, it turned out she was driving on a suspended license and had expired tags.  When the officer told her she could not drive away, police say Rees became violent, hitting and kicking the officer. Rees was arrested for the traffic violations and for resisting arrest.

What the fuck is Katie Rees doing?   And I’m not talking about the driving with the suspended license part or attacking the cops.  What is up with her mug shot?   She looks like trailer trash. You’re a fucking former beauty queen for god sakes!  Act like it!  Nothing worse in life than wasted talent. Somebody please cue up Billy Joel's "These are the Times To Remember" and let's just get lost in her groundbreaking first photo shoot.

Aside from the fact Sam Cassell is the ugliest person in professional sports, he's also a classless punk. Rajon Rondo was absolutely abusing ole' Sam during the first half of last night's 111-100 C's victory over the Clippers. Sam starting bitching to the refs, and when they refused to give him charity calls, he took matters into his own hands and punched Rondo in the face.  Sam tried to be slick about it and pretended he was going for the block, but this was clearly a punch. I'm a bit pissed off there was no retaliation. James Posey grabbed Cassell with one hand, but this cheapshot warranted a Kendrick Perkins drop kick.  That aside...I still want Sam Cassell on my team. Hell, if New Englanders can love the king of classless douchebags (Bill Belichick) than they can welcome Cassell with open arms.

As for KG, he’s out for Friday night’s game in Minnesota and questionable for Sunday’s showdown on national TV with the Spurs. It’s a safe bet to assume he’ll be out for another 2 weeks. Garnett ays everything from coughing to laughing to sneezing still hurts. That’s too bad, I guess he’s not banging that super-hot wife of his.

Chuck - Red's Army

February 7, 2008 -- A sickening video of New York Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez and legendary Hall of Famer Juan Marichal laughing at a gruesome cockfight in the Dominican Republic was posted - and then quickly taken off - YouTube. Martinez and Marichal, among the best pitchers of all time, are seen grinning before releasing two roosters.  Cockfighting is both legal and popular in the Dominican Republic.  The pair took part as honorary "soltadores" - the word used to describe the person who throws the animal into the ring.  The bird released by Martinez appears to be killed on the video.  The event shown in the video takes place in the Coliseo de Gallos - Rooster Coliseum - in Santo Domingo, the country's biggest cockfighting venue. Met spokesman Jay Horwitz refused to comment early today.  A spokesman for Major League Baseball could not immediately be reached.

Quick question.   Why is this even a story?   Cockfighting is legal in the Dominican Republic.    This wasn’t like Little Jerry Seinfeld fighting in the back of Marcelino’s  bodega.  This was at the Coiseo de Gallos.   AKA - the Madison Square Garden of Cockfighting.   Now don’t get me wrong, I hate cockfighting.    I’ve seen it up close and personal and I still wake up in cold sweats from time to time because of it.   Back in the Spring Break of 98 a bunch of my buddies and I went to Puerto Rico.  And being the degenerate gambler I am one of my first stops was to the local cockfighting ring.   It’s a decision I’ve regretted for the rest of my life.  Not only couldn’t I figure out how to place a bet, but cockfighting is some fucked up shit.  It’s the only place I’ve ever been in my life where you could literally smell death.   Here’s the thing they don’t tell you about cockfighting on the brochures.   9 out of 10 times one of the roosters doesn’t want to be in the ring.  It doesn’t matter how many times they hit him in the face with the fake rooster before the fight (which they really do to work them into a rage) the guy just doesn’t want to be there.   So what happens is you end up watching the most lopsided fight in the history of mankind.  It’s worse than round II of Drago vs. Apollo Creed.   But unlike the movies the corner doesn’t even think of throwing in the towel.   One rooster just gets his ass kicked until he dies.   Gruesome doesn’t even begin to describe it.  In fact, I still have a couple blood stains on the tshirt I wore to the fights.  To be honest, I think I would have been okay with it if the ref would have just stopped the fights when it was obvious that one rooster was out on his feet, but they never do.   There is no such thing as a TKO in the world of cockfighting.

Anyway, long story short, I hate cockfighting.   But it is part of the Dominican culture.   So I’m not sure why people are getting their panties in a bunch about this.   

(Editor's Note - If you like this story and even if you don't like this story then digg it at the bottom. That shit helps us grow like mofo)

As I entered the Funspot Arcade in Weirs Beach, New Hampshire last Sunday (long story) I had 2 things on my mind: kicking somebody’s ass at Bubble Hockey number one, and number two, playing Centipede, an old school game in which I always thought I was the greatest.  Well somehow Bubble Hockey was the only game in the history of video games they didn’t have at Funspot so that left me searching the rows upon rows of 1980’s standup arcade games for Centipede, and sure enough, I found it. 

Sadly though, there would be no Centipede that afternoon.  Not for me or for anyone.  The game wasn’t broken, it worked fine.  The reason it was “temporarily unavailable” was because right beside it, directly to the left, was a video camera on a tripod, a guy playing Dig Dug, and history in the making.

Now there were a bunch of things I thought I’d see that afternoon at Funspot – negligent parents, Skeeball, a grown man dressed as Donkey Kong, but a video camera on a tripod filming a guy playing Dig Dug was not one of them.  So naturally I abandoned the party I walked in with and headed straight for the guy getting filmed playing Dig Dug.  I don’t know, I was curious.  He had his own stool, a modest cheering section (3) and of course the camera setup on the tripod.

“What the hell is this”? I asked one of the on-lookers in attendance. 

“That’s Donald Hayes”.

After a 3 second pause where both of us were waiting for the other to respond, finally I bit.

“Huh?”

Now the only Donald Hayes I know is the former Patriot and Panther wide receiver, and clearly this was not that man.  This was a middle-aged dorky white guy with glasses and a collared shirt tucked in to his khakis.

“That’s Donald Hayes” the fan repeated.  “He has the world record in 7 ‘classic’ arcade games including 1 of only 5 people ever to have a perfect score in Pacman.”

“Ohhhh, that Donald Hayes” I thought to myself, “Obviously”.  Now clearly I had never heard of this man, but still, I was interested in what was going on here. 

Me: “Really?  What games does he have the title in?  I’m probably the greatest Centipede player of all time.”

Fan: “Nope, he is.”  (Pointing to Hayes)  “He’s got the world record in Centipede, Millipede, Super Zaxxon, tied in Pacman, Joust and a couple others.”

Me: “What about Frogger?”

Fan: “Actually, yes.  I lose track sometimes but he has the world record in Frogger too.”

Me: “Jesus Christ.”

Now I didn’t ask at the time but I did a little research since.  (I was unhealthily obsessed with this guy for 24 hours after I left the arcade). What happened was this – according to Twin Galaxies.com, the official scorer of video game records throughout the world and the people you mail the tapes to – the fan was right.   Hayes, a native of New Hampshire, is apparently one of the greatest living arcade players in the world and owns the world record in 7 “classic” games, including the ones mentioned above. He HAD the Dig Dug record too, but last month some joker with no prior world records came from out of nowhere to break it.  This was a shock to Donald Hayes.  I mean this would be like Lou Merloni breaking Joe Dimaggio’s 56 game hit streak, so Hayes (Joe D) was back at it last Sunday trying to recapture his title.

Click Here To Read The Rest of Manzo's Article...

The Five Stages of Grief are:
1. Denial: "It can't be happening."
2. Anger: "Why me?"
3. Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my children graduate."
4. Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
5. Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."

With respect to the Patriots, I've been in Stage 1 since Sunday. I'm slowly working my way to Stage 5. But right now, without a doubt, I'm in all out, full bore Stage 2 and I aim to stay here a while.

There'll be no self pity. No "Oh, it's so unfair" or "the Patriots didn't get the breaks" or any of that nonsense. For seven years now, every time the Pats have won there's always been a hue and cry about "how" they won it... The tuck rule, "The refs let them hold our receivers", "They didn't show class," "they broke the rules" boo hoo hoo. There'll be none of that here. The Pats had the game in hand and the Giants tore it away from them. New York made the plays when it counted. More power to 'em.

But one thing I'm starting to hear that I won't tolerate is this horseshit about the Giants being a "team of destiny." What's that supposed to mean, anyway? That we should've known all along that they were going to win? How so? Because they beat Tampa, Dallas and Green Bay that it was pre-ordained David Tyree was going to catch a pass with the top of his helmet? Because they "made plays" and "got the bounces" along the way their fate was already decided? It's ridiculous. "Team of destiny" is something nitwits say after a team has won, like we should've known it all along. By this logic, the Rockies should've won the World Series because Matt Holliday got called safe on that phantom tag in the playoff game. And you know if they'd beaten the Sox, they would've been called the "Team of Destiny" and everyone would be saying they knew it all along.

Like I said, the Giants won because in crunch time they outplayed the Patriots. I would be nice if someone, anyone, could've said the same thing when the Patriots won championships, but not everyone has the class and dignity I do. But that doesn't mean this doesn't suck. It sucks on toast. And as I sit here in the "Anger" stage of grief, here's a partial list of the miserable thoughts I'm wallowing in:

19. No 19th win. Several teams have 18 in a season.
18. Belichick would've tied Chuck Noll for the most Super Bowl wins.
17. All the cool stuff I was ready to write when they won is of no use.
16. "I told you so"s from the full-time doubters and pessimists
15. Bradshaw, Aikman, Montana and Starr never lost a Super Bowl. Brady has.
14. The '72 Dolphins are happy.
13. Brady laughed when Plaxico said the Pats would score 17 points. They scored 14.
12. "Get the Giants Super Bowl DVD with your paid subscription to Sports Illustrated..."
11. Gregg Easterbrook must be giddy.
10. Belichick is human.
9. Troy Brown didn't retire a champion
8. More Eli commercials.
7. The whole "Canyon of Heroes" thing.
6. "America's Game: the 2007 Giants." starring Coughlin, Strahan and Eli
5. Felger, Tomase, Borges, Lobel... all the haters are peeing their pants with glee.
4. The image of Peyton in the skybox.
3. The fact that I'm still avoiding SportsCenter, PTI, 'EEI, the newspaper...
2. The emails I'm getting from Giants fans for my "Hate Story" column.
1. Hundreds of Barstool "Dynasty" t-shirts with the four Lombardi trophies available at a low, low price.

For those who aren't aware, tonight's Mardi Gras party will not only be our best party of the year, but it will also involve, for the first time, our Barstool models in full on body paint.

Body Painting Hotness here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com