Random Thoughts

By my count Stuff at Night, The Boston Phoenix, Boston Now, The Metro, and all those other motherfuckers couldn't handle the wind. Pussies! They aren't taking this fucking Boat!

- photo on front page of Boston.com

(As a reminder we're going to try and run this feature at the end of most days or near the end of them. So if you have any good links we missed send them our way. Randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com)

1. Did the Pats Get Screwed In the Superbowl? This guys certainly thinks so. Personally I puked 2 seconds into it and had to shut it off. (I Am Bored)

2. UCLA Cheerleaders are kind of cute. Sort of reminds me of BC Cheerleaders except not at all. (Insomniacs Lounge)

3. Is this chick the next Erin Andrews? Or just the hottest college athlete in America? Or just an excuse to show a ridiculously hot chick. You be the judge. (Mister Irrelevant)

4. Italian TV Host Has Huge Boobs and she knows it. (Break.com)

5. Bridgit Moynihan and some gay dude who was her birthing partner talk about nothing for like 6 hours. I made it through 29 seconds of the video. Maybe Me and Manzo can do a new segment like this? (Youtube via Inside Track)

6. Some rapper I've never heard of tells Anderson Cooper on CBS that he will not talk to the cops under any circumstances. Not even if their is a serial killer living next door to him. He will move though which is smart. (youtube)

Continuing our head-over-heels in love with Valentine's Day tribute to the women who have the courage to follow their hearts, go against the grain of society and fall in love with bazillionaire athletes.

This is Jennifer Walcott. Actually this is Jennifer Walcott sitting on a barstool, which is pretty damned clever if you think about it. She's married to Chicago Bears Adam Archuleta, who's not worthy to carry Rodney Harrison's jock. Life is unfair. But to make up for it, you can click here to see more of Jennifer...

Introducing Emily from UMass. Now keep in mind I don't know Emily from a hole in the wall, but I just get the feeling looking at her pictures that there are about a million dudes who wish they were Emily's boyfriend. She seems like the All American chick that is super nice to everybody and super popular. In fact, there are probably like 500 nerds right now at Umass talking to each other trying to gather up the courage to ask her on a date because she makes everybody feel like they have a chance. But when push comes to shove she dates the QB of the football team and is going to end up being a MILF living in Hingham or Marblehead or something. At least that's my take.

Do you know any smokeshows? It's time to carry your weight. We're looking for any and all hot chicks from New England. Do your job and send them away so we can bestow the highest honor a hot chick can get. And that of course is smoke show of the day status. Send nominations to randomthoughts@ barstoolsports.com

Click Here for Emily's gallery

Inside Track - Christine Elise McCarthy broke out as “Beverly Hills 90210” bad girl-turned-marine biologist Emily Valentine, but her heart has always been being behind the camera. The Boston-born “90210” vixen, who was last seen playing an infertility doc in HBO’s “Tell Me You Love Me,” is back home from La-La armed with hundreds of on-the-road pics she shot during six coast-to-coast car trips with her two elderly pooches.Christine’s “Roadside Americana” photos will be on display beginning Feb. 22 at the Second Cup Cafein Allston.  But it’s always been the Boston Latin School grad’s 12-episode story arc on “90210” that gets her recognized!

Emily Valentine is from Boston?   No shit.     I can’t believe I didn’t know that.   It just seems like something I should know.   I mean she is #9 on Jamie Chisholm’s top 15 Chicks in the history of 90210.   That seems like it should be enough to get a street named after you in Boston or something.  

#9 Emily Valentine- No way Brandon Walsh could handle her between the sheets. Dylan, maybe, but Brandon  was out of his league with this freakshow. Valentine was crazy. She did drugs, ruined parade floats and wore hats. She definitely pulled out the strap-on with Brandon. I'm just saying. But you know I'm right.

I'd say that easily 90% of guys I've talked to, at the Mardi Gras party as well as over the weekend, have told me that they haven't read a word about the Super Bowl except for what's been written on the Stool. I'm in that same boat. A week later and I still haven't read a football article or even watched any of the sports channels.

I'm beginning to gradually inch my way back into life. So it was with great delight that I found out Dan Shaughnessy wrote one of his signature "Picked Up Pieces" columns about the game. It would have been a goddamned shame to have missed this particular gem, as Shank was at his lazy, perfunctory, disinterested best. It's gotten to the point where he's writing pure stream-of-consciousness blatherings that are sounding more like a Larry King column every time he writes one.

The Picked Up Pieces scoreboard:
Utterly pointless non-sequiturs: 5
* [I was] wondering if anyone at the Super Bowl thought to get a photograph of John Hannah standing next to Joe Montana..
* At 61, Coughlin becomes the oldest coach to win a Super Bowl.
* Canyon of Heroes or Canyon of Zeros?
* Any chance Matt Estrella and Abraham Zapruder are related?
* "Arlen Specter" is an anagram for "learn respect."

Kicking a man when he's down: 4
* Bill Belichick's answer when asked about leaving the field early was vague and unsatisfying
* ...another example of Hoodie boorishness..
* I have doubts about Randy Moss being with the Patriots in 2008.
* I stumbled across CNBC's interminable feature on Bob Kraft...Wow. The piece gave new meaning to "fawning."

Sportswriter insider stuff no one else cares about: 3
* [The Globe's "19-0" book] was 75 percent done.
* The Globe's talented Christopher L. Gasper has to be the only beat reporter in newspaper history to write his first losing game story at the Super Bowl.
* Alan Greenberg (Hartford Courant), who died last March. Greenberg was a wonderful father, good company in the press box, and an underrated talent on the sports page

Outdated pop culture references: 2
* You might remember Three Dog Night's "Eli's Coming."
* Personally, I thought Super Bowl XLII was better television than the last "M*A*S*H" episode.
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Outdated sports references/ Still pumping the "Curse of the Bambino" well dry: 3
* Wes Welker is the Patriots' answer to Bruce Hurst. Hurst was set to be named World Series MVP in 1986 when things fell apart for the Red Sox in the bottom of the 10th inning of Game 6 at Shea.
* Ernie Accorsi went from Lou Gorman (Jeff Bagwell for Larry Andersen) to Red Auerbach just about overnight.
* David Tyree is a New York immortal on a par with Don Larsen.

Painfully obvious observations: 1
* How'd you like to be Cooper Manning, the only brother without a Super Bowl MVP award?

As we head into the dullest part of the sports calendar we can only hope the CHB starts mining this gold more often. I mean, is a "Picked Up Pieces" about the Beanpot final too much to hope for?

UB is quickly becoming a fan of Olivia. Maybe it was the stellar Wake Up a few months back, or maybe it's this latest interview with Complex Magazine where she talks about being an anal virgin (though she would be willing to be fucked in the ass with a carrot), is grossed out by the idea of eating pussy and requests a cum shot to the eye. Oh, you gotta love a girl with some spirit. See if you can name the movie scenes she's acting out...(Answers below)

Answers: (Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Weird Science, Wayne's World, There's Something About Mary, Dodgeball and Dumb and Dumber. If you got 12-10 You're a movie master, if you got 8-6 then the answer was Samsonite, you were way off, and if you got 4-2 then go fuck yourself.)

We got an email this morning from Don Chavez alerting us to a photobucket album of the Sacramento Kings Dancers including a g-string shot of four girls. Naturally I dropped everything I was doing and rushed to the scene. Now the only problem with the album is that this was done by a professional. As far as I can tell it's impossible to figure out whose album this belongs to or even if it's a dancer. This ambiguity has to be on purpose right? In fact it's quite possible that the four chicks asses in the top photos aren't even members of the dance team and this is all a set up. But we have a little motto here at the Stool that says "Post Pictures First and Ask Questions Later" So here we are. If you are interested in checking out the entire gallery click here. And if you can figure out whose gallery this is or whose asses those belong to, we'd much appreciate it.

As a side note, regardless of whose photos these are or who those girls are at the top is there any doubt the Maloof's banged them all?

- Thanks to Don Chavez for the link....Check out his blog or something.

Actors are so stupid. I mean what did this guy think was going to happen when he hit on the girlfriend of the guy wearing ultimate fighting gloves? Obviously you're going to get knocked the fuck out. This isn't Desperate Housewives buddy. This is the real world.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- It's become a daily routine: A new element of Brian McNamee's "I injected Roger Clemens with steroids and human growth hormone" story emerges -- and Clemens' attorneys call the pitcher's former personal trainer a liar. The latest, and quite possibly oddest, twist involves Clemens' wife. McNamee told congressional investigators he injected Debbie Clemens with HGH -- at the seven-time Cy Young Award winner's direction -- before the couple posed for a 2003 Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition photo shoot, a lawyer familiar with his testimony said Friday.

Ah, now it finally makes sense.  I’ve always thought something just wasn’t right about that Debbie Clemens photo in SI.  I’d wake up in cold sweats not even knowing what was really bothering me, but it was always that picture.  I just couldn’t put it out of my mind.  I mean her abs were just a little too ripped.  Her thighs were just a little too muscular.  Her tits just a little too big.  But I could never put my finger on it.  And now after all these years we find out Debbie was on the juice.   For shame Debbie, for shame.   It makes perfect sense though. I just can’t believe I didn’t figure it out before.   All the clues were right there in front of me.   Now at least I can sleep easy.   Thank you Brian McNamee.   

9 times out of 10, the announcers in a game don't matter to me. The way I see it... as long as they tell me what's going on, shed a moderate amount of light on what's happening, and don't get too caught up in their little chuckle-fests, I'm ok.

But that 1 time out of 10 is ALWAYS when a national broadcast team comes in and has to pretend they know what the hell has been going on here over the past few months. What we all witnessed yesterday at the hands of Mike Breen, Mark Jackson... and Jeff Van Gundy.

The Notorious JVG started the festivities by flat out dismissing the possibility that Paul Pierce's #34 should be retired. It was almost as if he was asked if Brian Scalabrine's number would be retired (did you hear Breen? He's a fan favorite!). His flip "Might as well retire Antoine Walker's number too" comment was just salt in the wounds. To dismiss out-of-hand the notion that Pierce, the 6th leading scorer in Celtics history, shouldn't get his number retired is madness.

Another gem from Van Gundy: The Celtics need a starting-calibur point guard. Do you watch basketball at all Jeff? Rajon Rondo has made a remarkable progression from his first to his second season. He has earned the respect of 3 future Hall of Famers who are pinning their hopes on him to be the point guard on a championship team. And he is widely considered among best 1-on-1 perimeter defenders in the league.

And finally... with the game on the line, Van Gundy openly chastised the C's for inbounding the ball to Tony Allen with the Celtics up 4 with 13 seconds to go. He advocated using the Celtics last time out to draw up a play to get a better free throw shooter in the game. Sure... blow your last time out in a tight game for a substitution... when a 75% free throw shooter can ice things with just one make.

What makes all these things so delicious... is that Tony Allen swished both free throws, Rajon Rondo had 12 assist and 11 boards, and Paul Pierce dropped 35 on the Spurs while playing some damn fine defense on the other end. It's like the Celtics heard every point he was making and decided to shove it right back up his ass. No wonder you're not coaching anymore Jeff.

Props to Big Baby... who did a really good job on Tim Duncan. I know that might seem weird in a game where Timmy D dropped 22 and 14... but that could have easily been 32 and 24. Davis was strong enough to move Duncan out of his comfort zone... and quick enough not to get beat by a shake or a dribble. Very strong performance.

John - RedsArmy.com

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First of all, somebody at ESPN must HATE Chris Berman.  I mean I haven’t seen a smear campaign like this since the Sox got rid of Nomar.    Boomer must be storming around the offices at Bristol with a bottle of Jack in one hand and a sawed off shotgun in the other looking for who is doing this.    For our sake let’s hope he never catches the person because these videos are hilarious.  But there is no doubt which one is the best.   It’s obviously the one with Rebecca.  This video would be blog worthy even if I didn’t know who Chris Berman was.   I mean that little shimmy he did when he asked Rebecca is he made her squirm was priceless stuff.  I’m totally going to start using that as my new pickup line with the Barstool girls.  "Do I make you Squirm" followed by that dance is like an unstoppable one two punch.   I don’t know how Rebecca kept her pants on.   Just classic stuff.   As a side note somewhere Rebecca’s poor married husband weeps knowing that Boomer laid pipe on his wife.

- Kudos to whatever website is getting these videos. They seem to be everywhere right now so it's tough to tell who is getting them.

Much more Ashley here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com