Australian News.com - A woman who said she was relentlessly taunted by colleagues because of chronic flatulence has lost her discrimination claim, an employment tribunal confirmed today. The woman, who cannot be named, claimed she was subjected to cruel jibes from staff at Leeds Metropolitan University because she suffered from severe irritable bowel syndrome. The Leeds tribunal heard how one colleague said: "She opens the window because she sits there and stinks the place out - we shouldn't have to put up with it."

She told the hearing colleagues would make sniffing noises and "bowel jokes" when she was in earshot. The woman complained about being harassed but disciplinary proceedings were started against her because of concerns over the quality of her work and increased sickness absences, the tribunal heard.

It's easy to make fun of a nation that has more Lords and Dukes than orthodontists, but sometimes you just have to hand it to the British. What are the odds this woman would've had her case dismissed if she lived in the States? Instead she would've not only gotten her job back... with back pay and damages... her co-workers would've been fired for violating the Americans with Disabilities Act, the other employees would have to go to Fart Sensitivity Training, the company would have to hire a full time Chronic-Flatulence Awareness Co-ordinator, the government would fine them under Affirmative Action for failure to hire enough Gassy-Americans, the ALCU would be suing for infringing her First Amendment right to play the Trouser Trumpet in the workplace, and she'd be at home collecting 100% on her Ass Whistle worker's comp claim.

At least the British judicial system gets something that this woman (and my wife for that matter) just doesn't seem to understand: that farts are never not funny.