Random Thoughts

Introducing Melissa from Worcester.    Anybody who doesn’t think I’m intimidated by hot chicks with tattoos is sorely mistaken.  I’m just convinced that I’d be too boring for them to even hold a conversation.      So naturally I’m petrified of Melissa.  I think if I saw her in a bar I’d feel like Michael Spinks did before he fought Tyson.  Just totally psyched out.

Good job by the Stoolies sending us nominations yesterday.  Apparently all my whining and moaning lit a fire under some people’s asses.  Now just remember we need the full name of the girl and her permission.   Sending us an email that say I saw this girl on the subway and I think her name is Lisa does us no good.    Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click Here for more of Melissa.

Foxnews.com - "Dirty Dancing" star Patrick Swayze was diagnosed in late January with pancreatic cancer that has spread to other organs and he has five weeks left to live, according to the National Enquirer.

Sad. So sad. This is especially painful for the entire staff of the Stool since we base our entire corporate culture on his 3 rules.

• One, never underestimate the other newspapers. Expect the unexpected.
• Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the office unless it's absolutely necessary.
• And three, be nice...I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice."
  

Man, where is Wade Garrett when you need him?

Click here for the answer

NY Post March 5, 2008 -- PHILIPPE on East 60th Street has allegedly videotaped celebrity customers as they frolicked in what they thought was a private room. The restaurant's private wine cellar is outfitted with hidden security cameras. And employees at the Chinese eatery have screened the videos after the stars leave, says an insider. "They've watched tape of Diddy and Sienna Miller hanging out and Tom Brady and Gisele [Bundchen] hooking up. Bundchen's rep had no comment and Brady's rep did not return an e-mail.

I wish I didn’t read this story.    As much as I’d love to see a Gisele sex tape it’s not worth having to watch a Tom Brady sex tape to get it.  I need separation of Church and State.    I just can’t risk having the mental image of a naked Tom Brady floating around in my head when I’m trying to watch football.   It’s like Homer Simpson picturing Flanders ass.  Once you get it in your head, it's hard to get rid of it.

PS – Secret cameras to video tape hot chicks is a great idea.  I wish I thought of that.  (Wink, wink)

I've gotten a few emails today about the fact that apparently yesterday Mike Felger was on ESPN Radio gushing about how Barstool Sports is the best website on planet earth. Who knew Felger was a Stoolie? I may need to revise my local radio personality rankings now. If I've said it once I've said it a million times. I'm totally open to being bought. Anyway, in honor of this shout out, I thought it was only fair to give him a shout out back. And the best way I know how to do that is by posting a link to this video montage of his wife Sarah Underwood dancing around in honor of her last day at WBZ. No need to thank us Mike. That's just how we roll.

- Thanks to our boy at Red's Army for the heads up

Cubs.com - “The Cubs have had a variety of injuries this spring. So far, infielder Mark DeRosa was hospitalized with an irregular heartbeat, pitcher Jose Ascanio had a bruised face after getting punched in a robbery attempt, and outfielder Felix Pie missed a couple of days early because of a twisted testicle. Third baseman Aramis Ramirez remains sidelined with a sore right shoulder.”

Man where is Wade Boggs when you need him?  He’d fit right in with this bunch.   I don’t even think the Chicken Man missed a game with a twisted testicle.   He did miss one when he claimed a Hurricane picked him up and dropped him a mile down the road, but not a twisted testicle.     Felix Pie must have long balls huh?    Long Ball Larry.    And what about Jose Ascanio?   I’m confused.  Did he get a bruised face while he was attempting a robbery or was he trying to prevent a robbery?  I guess that’s just a minor detail.  Oh those wacky Cubs.  

Seriously though.  I hate twisted testicles.

- Thank to the guys at Concordia University-Texas for sending this link . I knew we were huge there.

One of the most common questions I get asked with Barstool Sports is where do we get all the girls.  And my answer is that they find us.    The next question I get is why do random girls want to do Barstool?   Well duh!   Barstool Sports is like the Disney Mickey Mouse Club in its prime.   While the Mickey Mouse Club has launched the careers of Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera we’ve launched the careers of such mega stars as Rabbit and umm Rabbit.      Yes, I’m talking about our former Barstool Mascot.   Rabbit was a virtual nobody until she burst onto the scene at our Barstool Beach Bowl in July of last year.   And ever since then she has been on the fast track to super stardom.  It all started innocently enough with her contacting me out of the blue asking if she could be a Barstool girl for the night and schmoozing with El Pres.    Then she turned the Barstool Beach Bowl into her own private audition.    We instantly booked her for an encore performance at our 25 Sexiest Launch Party at Tequila Rain.   By then the handwriting was on the wall.  This kid was going straight to the top.    And that’s exactly what she did.    She went from the runways of Barstool to getting farted on and riding the sybian on Howard Stern.   She is what people in the business call a “climber”   Suddenly Rabbit’s rookie card was sold out of every collectible store in the country.    And today we find out that Rabbit is one step closer to world domination as she appeared on Phil-Flash.com.    Warning these Pics are NSFW.   And to think it all started at the Barstool Beach Bowl many, many moons ago.     Hopefully she doesn’t forget the little people and will come back for a reunion tour.

- Thanks to Don Chavez for the Rabbit update.

(2005 Winner)

(2006 Winner)

The Barstool Cover Model of the Year Party is Tomorrow at Liquor Store.   Party starts at 9pm.  Guest list closes at noon tomorrow. Do everybody a favor and RSVP to covermodelparty@barstoolsports.com ASAP so you don't get shut out. Everybody must email individually. None of this John Smith +18. That ain't going to fly unless you have a posse of girls.

Online voting ends today.  

Cover Model Voting Rules - Vote as many times as you like online. The girl who comes in first will receive 1 point. The girl who comes in 2nd will receive 2 points. The girl who comes in 3rd will receive 3 points so on and so forth. There will also be live voting at the party which will be scored the same way. The girl with the most votes at the party gets 1 point. The girl with the 2nd most votes at the party gets 2 points and so on and so on. At the party the online voting score of each girl will be added to the score at the party. The girl with the lowest point total will be declared the 2008 Cover Model of the Year.

In addition to announcing our 2007 Cover Model of the Year we will also be having the finals of the Coors Sexiest Fan contest.   This will be a fashion show in which girls will wear 2 of their sexiest sports outfits that they can think of and walk down the runway with them.   Girls who want to enter this contest need to send me a picture of themselves and their name to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com  The girl who wins over the judges will receive a trip to Las Vegas complete with airfare and 3 nights hotel at New York New York and the chance to compete in the Finals.    The winner of the finals gets two tickets to the 2009 Superbowl.        

So in other words this should be a HUGE night.  The Cover Model of the Year Party is always a huge event and this year should only be bigger.   Now comes the important part.    You must RSVP individually to get on this guest list.   It is a private event and we should be mobbed.    So if you want to bring friends have them email us directly.   That is how we are going to check names at the door.   RSVP to covermodelparty@barstoolsports.com.   Per usual girls will get special treatment and cut the line, blah, blah, blah.

As seen in Jerry's blog earlier, nobody lives for more Awkward Moments in Broadcasting than The Stool. Nobody. Actually I saw this on deadspin but check out the call, and the painful awkward pause that follows, after this KNBC announcer comments on the L.A. Marathon.

That's not Neumy is it?

If experience has taught me anything it's that the key to life is figuring out who's important and then being nice to that person. When everyone else is kissing the VP's ass, I go out of my way to be friends with the custodian who cleans the bathroom you use, the IT guy who can take the porn filter off your computer or the coffee shop lady who might give you the fresh-brewed stuff. And apparently in TV news, the most important people to be friendly with are the graphics department.

Vs.

I got to admit this one was easy for me. Yeah the streaker video is cute and all, but I was like Homer Simpson watching the football to the groin video with the Kobe facial. I mean I was almost in tears after watching it for the 10th time. I love how the old bag didn't even react when the towel hit her. For all we know she may have sat through half time with that towel on her face.

Vote 1 for Towel Facial and 10 For Streaker

If you didn't already know, Charity is not only a bikini model but a reporter for SPEED Network. The name Charity sounds about right as those fake tits look like Make a Wish jobs if UB's ever seen one...

Much more Charity here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com