Random Thoughts

Story 1: Donald Trump is in hot water over an underage naked gal! [Chanell Elain Hallett], the young lady in question - who was 17 during that week in the Arizona desert that New England Patriots fans would rather forget - was photographed nude except for body paint, serving and quaffing cocktails at the Trump Vodka VIP Lounge at 944 magazine’s Super Village.

Story 2: A lawyer for the call girl linked to former New York Gov. Eliot Sptizer said the woman was only 17 when filmed for "Girls Gone Wild" videos in 2003. After hearing from the attorney for Ashley Alexandra Dupre, [Joe Francis], the maker of "Girls Gone Wild" said the video's Internet release will be delayed.

In the '60's, Dick Nixon dropped the voting age from 21 to 18 under the logic that people old enough to fight for their country should have a say in how its governed. Well we've reached another such moment in history. And a cause every bit as noble. It's time to lower the age when a teenage girl can legally show her goods in public. Women old enough to see R-rated movies should be allowed to go bareassed in them. The logic is inassailable. Donald Trump and Joe Francis are great Americans, putting aside their own selfish interests to give the American public the loose, naked women we deserve. If, while in the act of doing this public service, they break the law, it's not they who need to change. It's the law that must be changed. The age of consent sounds all well and good until two pillars of our soceity like this get in trouble; the way everyone likes a speed trap in the neighborhood until they're the ones who get a ticket. Are any of the candidates talking about lowering the nudity law to 17? Because they've got my vote. Is it too late for Spitzer to run? You just know he would.

COLUMBIA, S.C. —  Two female middle school teachers were arrested Wednesday on charges they got into a fight in front of students, officials said. Eighth grade teachers Tawana Horton, 30, and Cambrella Pinckney, 28, bumped into each other during a hallway class change Friday afternoon at St. Andrews Middle School and began fighting, according to a report by the Richland County sheriff's department. The two teachers told an officer that they had an ongoing personal dispute, the report said. The teachers were charged with disturbing schools and have been placed on administrative leave, deputies said. "This occurred with students on the scene and they witnessed what happened," Richland School District 1 spokeswoman Karen York. "Teachers are looked at as role models. That doesn't set a good example."

Am I crazy or does this sound exactly like a hockey fight?   I mean these two chicks bump into each other on purpose in-between classes (line change) and then drop their books (gloves) circle each other for a couple minutes and then go at it.    I’m sure everybody already knew they were going to brawl; it was just a matter of when.   In any event I think it’s refreshing to see a couple of broads settle their differences like men.    If more chicks would follow the lead of these two educators/trailblazers then maybe chicks wouldn’t be so angry all the time and they wouldn’t hate other girls for being prettier than them.     It’s nice to know there are still some role models in today’s educational system.

It would take a lot to put any female pole vaulter up against Allison Stokke without expecting a 1 Seed vs. 16 Seed-like blowout. But Australian Melanie Adams is a lot. On a neutral site, I'm honestly not sure who'd be laying the points in this matchup, but I know it'd be close. With any luck this will set off an international arms race of pole vaulting hotties who'll all be vying to take Stokke's belt away.

Allison Stokke:

VS.Melanie Adams

Here's more of each of them to help you decide.

"1" for Stokke, "10" for Adams.

Click Here For the Answer

An off-duty Disney security guard has been released from jail after being charged with indecent exposure in public, battery and child abuse, authorities said. A woman flagged down a Groveland police officer and told him that [John Briegel, 43] had just hit her 11-year-old son in the face... The boy said he was collecting money for his school's fundraising campaign when he rang Briegel's doorbell four or five times, the arrest affidavit said. The boy said Briegel answered the door naked, berated him for ringing the doorbell, then struck him on the side of the head with a closed fist. Briegel admitted answering the door nude and yelling at the boy, but he said he kept his body hidden behind the door and denied hitting the boy.

To be fair, the 11 year old probably didn't deserve to be hit in the face. But that kid is collateral damage in a war. A war fought by men like John Briegel who answer the call of duty. John Briegel is a Disney Security Guard. Part of a thin blue line of brave men on the front lines who grab a radio and a whistle and stand a post everyday to keep us safe. And when they come back from the conflict and strife and need the help of a grateful nation, we turn our backs on them.

If we keep throwing guys like Briegel into jail instead of giving them the treatment they need, who's going to keep us safe? Who's going to keep the concourse outside Splash Mountain free of used french fry containers? Who's going to stop teenagers from cutting line at Expedition: Everest? Who's going to keep the peace when some handifat lady in a power scooter demands a new ice cream because she dropped hers? Briegel is a hero. Now I ask you, where's his parade?

So sure we can all sit in judgment of John Briegel. Say he did everything to make this private war happen. That he's done enough damage. Or tell him "It's over Johnny." But nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off. Disney security isn't his war. We asked Briegel. He didn't ask us.

EL PASO - A day after a fatal highway drag racing crash, a pair of local television live trucks were caught on video in their own race at a local drag strip. The El Paso stations, KDBC-TV and KVIA-TV, were at the legal drag racing strip Friday night when a crowd of onlookers apparently convinced a pair of photographers and a part-time anchorman to race.

Charlie Bernal, a 25-year-old photographer for KDBC, said he was fired Tuesday after his bosses saw the race on the video sharing Web site YouTube.

"I knew what I was doing and figured, if someone gets wind of this I'm in a world of crap," Bernal said. He added that he didn't regret his decision to race the station's only live truck but wouldn't do it again.

First off, you gotta love the attitude of Charlie Bernal.  He knew he’d be in a “world of crap”, but yet he doesn’t regret his decision.  In other words, drag racing a TV news truck is fucking fun!  However as you can see by the video, the Channel 4 truck clearly left the blocks early.  I mean can we get a little order down there in the El Paso TV News Truck Drag Racing Circuit?  And just imagine if we had this in Boston – it’d be a pay per view event.  Lobel in one truck, Pete Bouchard in the other.  Maria "Ole Hooker Boots" Stephanos vs. Bianca “The Big Cat” De La Garza. You could make some serious cash around here drag racing local TV news anchors. Say it's for the kids.

Anyway I’m still not sure why this guy got fired, it’s not like he was drunk. Actually on second thought, let’s have Burton in for Lobel.

For all the suckers who can't come to our March Madness Party today at The Place , please free to live vicariously through us by watching a video of our Cover Model Party that Dirty Water made. I will be leaving Abington in t-minus 5 minutes for Boston. So if you see an Astrovan zipping by you on 93 North you know where it is headed. No word on what the blog will be like for the rest of the day since our entire staff will be getting shitfaced and losing tons of money.

PS - Do I have wax in my ears or did I hear Whitney say she wanted to bang me in that video?

Double PS - We take no responsibility for that video since we didn't shoot it.

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. -- Orange County Public Schools is investigating claims that a student was forced to use a lunchbox as a toilet in front of his class at Meadowbrook Middle School.  The teacher will not be coming to school. She will be relieved of her duty with pay as the school district investigates, officials said. "If you gotta go, you gotta go," student Quonterious Thomas told Eyewitness News in an interview Monday.  Thomas, 13, says his language arts teacher, Jameeka Chambers, gave him two options when he had to go to the bathroom at Meadowbrook Middle School in Orange County. She said he could wait until the end of class or use her lunchbox in the back of the classroom.  The sixth grader said he used her lunchbox.  "If I had waited any longer, I would have peed on myself and that would have been even more embarrassing," Thomas said, adding that his entire class of 19 students and his teacher watched.  The district says teachers have to allow students to use the restroom.

The district says teachers have to allow students to use the restroom?  What kind of fluffy ass rule is that?  See this is why I couldn’t become a History Teacher like I got my degree in.   I couldn’t take all the mammy pammy rules that let students piss all over teachers (no pun intended).  Well that and my immune system couldn’t handle the germs, but I digress.   So what happens if this kid tries to take like 9 pisses in 20 minutes?  The teacher just has to let him go?   Clearly there was a reason why the teacher told the kid to hold it or piss in the lunchbox.   Stop taking leaks every two seconds and this would have never happened.    If anything the teacher should be commended for trying to teach this Nancy Boy a life lesson.    You can’t always go to the bathroom whenever you want. Sometimes you need to just piss in a lunchbox.

Don’t mess with Texas. Isn’t that the state motto? Well the Celtics blew through Texas like a tornado through a trailer park. In fact, we're 6-0 against those ten-gallon hat wearing bastards this season. The rest of the league has to accept us as future champions now. It's inevitable. As for the game, the Celtics nearly pissed this one away down the stretch. But Ray Allen was able to bail them out with a shut-the-fuck-up three pointer with 30 seconds left.

Chuck - Red's Army

And does anyone know who the hell Tyler Perry is? You might be the only person watching that House of Payne show on TNT. Then again, I'd rather watch that show then listen to Reggie Miller butcher the english language.

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Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com