Yesterday El Pres wondered what kind of a lunatic would get up early to watch the game this morning. My answer would be "first class." I've always believed there are only two things that should get a guy out of bed at 5 AM: a plane ticket or a tee time. But I've added the Red Sox playing in Tokyo to the list. It might seem nuts, but the next time the Sox open the defense of their championship from halfway around the world, I can turn off the alarm and roll over because I've already seen one. A few things I learned this morning:

*Japanese Opening Day pre-game ceremonies are, in a word, bizarre. Four guys holding up giant bamboo poles with about 50 Red Sox and A's beach balls like the ones they sell at Fenway for $20 each. Girls in Red Sox kimonos walking like Egyptians. Others in A's kimonos with unfortunate swastikas embroidered on the sleeves. Geishas with giant hats that look like fortune cookies. Kids in black baseball unis krumping to C+C Music Factory. Bells, flutes, pounding drums the size of the Batsignal light. A US military band doing "Stars and Stripes Forever." It was something Dr. Charles Steinberg would come up with on blotter acid.

*You learn to expect anything from the culture that gave us karaoke, anime, and bukkake.
To read more sleep apneaed thoughts on this morning's game, click here...