Random Thoughts

Introducing Kaylyn from Bentley College.    Three Words.  Potato Sack Girl.   Honestly when you look up potato sack in at the dictionary there is a picture of Kaylyn. 

Websters:

Potato Sack Girl -  A girl who is so hot and cute at the same time that you just want to throw her in a potato sack and marry the crap out of her.   See Kaylyn from Bentley College.

Smokeshows here!  Get Your Smokeshows!  Piping Hot Smokehows!  Get Your Smokeshows!  Send them to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

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There's something about April 16th that makes men accomplish great things. Today is the birthday of Charlie Chaplin (at one time the most famous man on Earth), Pope Benedict XVI (the leader of the world's largest religion) and Kareem Abdul Jabbar (the NBA's all time leading scorer). But towering above them all, bestriding the narrow world like a colossus, is one William Stephen Belichick, the high point of human evolution on this spinning marble we call Earth.

Here's what The Hooded One's horoscope has to say about his birthday:

If it's your birthday

Happy birthday, Aries! Others find it hard to stay angry at you, given your charismatic personality and stimulating mind. Considered a gentle but determined soul, you have an attractive nature that draws many close friends and associates throughout life. At times you can appear mysterious or aloof, but this is your way of stepping back and evaluating what's happening. This year, going public with an innovative idea or project will communicate to those in power that you're ready for the next step.

It's uncanny how accurately that describes Coach Belichick; like it was written especially for him. Except they left out the parts about his charming wit or the way his eyes twinkle when he's running up the score on somebody.

For real, this is a picture of the birthday cake they served today at Gillette just before he told the Patriots beat reporters nothing about his upcoming draft plans. The picture is courtesy of PatriotsPlanet.net. Leave it to that fat pig John Tomase to grab a big helping for himself before the birthday boy had a chance to cut it.

Is this tattoo supposed to be Pat the Patriot? Is that possible? If it is then what is going on with his shirt? Did the tatoo artist black out or something? Or was that just artistic integrity? Maybe the guy didn't want to get sued for copywright infringment so he mixed it up a little bit? That's the only explanation I can think of. Either that or this is the worst tatoo of all time. Although in a weird way I kind of like it. I mean I'm sure there are tons of guys walking around with the real deal. But nobody else on the planet has the same tat as the guy on the left.

Free hat or shirt to the owner of this tattoo if he reveals himself

withleather via photobasement

From the NY Post:

What would you do if you won the lottery? If you said you'd use a marker to draw a goatee on your face before a press conference to announce your good fortune, then you would be on the same wavelength as Michael Perez, 51, of Queens. The unemployed warehouse worker scrawled the phony facial hair on his chin below his moustache as a disguise in hopes of staying incognito yesterday as he accepted a ceremonial check for winning a $14 million Lotto jackpot from the New York Lottery. Perez, who also donned sunglasses and a cap, said he wanted to remain unrecognized so thieves could not prey on him and his mom, who he said lives in a crimeridden section of The Bronx. "I've got to look out for my family," Perez said when asked about his mystery garb.

The mystery to me is how a guy with Michael Perez' wherewithal and street smarts could possibly be unemployed. Not to disparage warehouse workers, but I'd think a guy with so much savvy would be doing counter-espionage for the CIA or infiltrating Al Qaeda or something. I mean, I've got nothing on Perez. If it was me, I would've just said no thanks to the press conference, taken a pass on the big, novelty cardboard check, gone down to the lottery office at 4:59 Friday afternoon, grabbed the real check and been on my way. But that wouldn't have foiled the bad guys nearly as well as the old Sharpie Beard trick. Michael Perez has to be the smartest guy in the Bronx this side of Hank Steinbrenner.

Who said the Tigers aren't having fun this season? Don't tell that to Joel Zumaya. Guy is having a ball!

- Thanks to Dante the Don for the pics

I've seen this movie before. And the ending sucks.

Missing several primo scoring opportunities, the Bruins' season-long problem of not finishing certainly bit them in the ass last night at the soon-to-get-yet-another-name Fake Garden, as they dropped a 1-0 decision to Canadiens, putting them down 3 games to 1 in the series. As one of my boys said walking out of the barn, "I would've rather lost 6-0 than 1-0." Now, the hockey playoff equivalent of a dicktease that last night was, has pushed the Bs to the brink of their season's end. Either win three in a row or book tee times and ogle muff at P.O. Square.

Click Here For the Rest of Rear Admiral's B's Blog

Don't forget everybody that tomorrow night is our 80's Ipodapalooza at Ned Devine's. It should be a blast! Party starts at 8pm. We got 80's music, 80's movie videos and the Barstool Girls. If you haven't RSVP'd yet please send an email to 1980@barstoolsports.com. As long as you come with somebody who is on the RSVP list you'll be good to go. So bring your hot girlfriends and have them bring their hot girlfriends. See you there!

I hope the First Lady is reading this blog. Because if we get married and then I start banging younger chicks and she divorces me and makes a youtube of it exposing my dirty little secrets, I will ruin her on the blog. That is a promise! So I hope she doesn't get any wacky ideas from this video.

Click here for the answer...

I know people hate me talking about American Idol.   But let me just say this.  It is going to take an upset of gigantic proportion for David Cook not to win Idol this year.    This will make it 7 out of 8 years for me.    (Last year was the only year I missed)   It’s a streak so unfathomable, so impossible that I deserve to be known as the #1 American Idol expert in this country.   It still astounds me why I haven’t been contacted by all the local media outlets to recap each episode.   Bottom-line is that there are very few people in life who can dominate anything the way I dominate American Idol.  There is Tiger in Golf.  Jordan in Basketball.  Gretzky in hockey and me in American Idol.  Pretty impressive company if you ask me.

VS.

Is this the toughest decision we've ever had on Barstool Sports? I think it may be. Clearly both the Rugby guy and " The Hammer" are not only assholes, but true intimidators. Let's start with the rugby guy. He basically threw a haymaker off somebody's chin and only one guy from the other team had the balls to get in his face? And he just got pushed to the ground like a rag doll. I thought Rugby guys were supposed to be tough? This guy must be one bad mofu. Meanwhile Rule #1 of pick up hockey is clearly you don’t fuck with “The Hammer”.   This lady can scream and yell all she wants but once "The Hammer" gets his hands on you nature just takes over.  Unfortunately Jimmy found this out the hard way. And I love how the friend in the crowd asks where her boyfriend is when Jimmy is in the process of getting mauled so she could hide him from The Hammer. That's the mark of a true asshole. It's every man, woman and child for himself when The Hammer comes to town.

In the end I think the tie breaker for me is the fact that the rugby guy put his hands up like "who me?" after he cold cocked that dude. I just don't see "The Hammer" doing that. He relishes the role of the villain. He wants to beat you up and then stand over you after it's over. Edge Hammer.

Vote 1 for Rugby and 10 for "The Hammer"

Reader Email

I was at the Sox game Sunday night sitting above home plate in the Home Plate Pavillon when security came and removed 2 guys in front of us.  The police joined security and informed one of the guys he was being removed for public urination and basically being obnoxious.  When the guys left the 2 hot girls who were with the 2 guys informed us they played for the Revolution and had been pounding all day long.  The girls were from CT and had known the guys for a while. One of the a-holes was wearing a Yankee shirt and was out of control.  What a waste of a great seat. F- the Yankees.. It was Gary Flood. D-bag is from NY no wonder he had his unit in his hand in public.

Nice smirk dude.  Is that you’re public urination face?   Listen, I’ve never watched a Revolution game.   I don’t know anybody who has ever watched a Revolution game.  I don’t know anybody who knows anybody who has ever watched a Revolution game.   But I swear to God I will boycott the Revolution from this day forward for the rest of my life until Gary Flood is deported from Massachusetts.   Honestly who does this guy think he is?     Newsflash dude.   You’re a soccer player.  That’s like one step above the usher at Fenway.   Bottom-line is that Revolution Players need to be on their best behavior at all times to win over fans.    This guy should have been buying people beers and waiting in line to get people food.    The last thing Revolution players should be doing is wearing Yankee shirts to Fenway and pissing all over the place.   Fucking idiot.

You may be surprised that Jennifer has never been featured as a Wake Up. Amazingly there are plenty of main stream pieces of ass that have yet to appear, and it's only because you haven't requested them yet...

Much more Jen here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com