Random Thoughts

Introducing Kelly from BC. Finally the superfans step up. Took em long enough. This is obviously the hottest girl that goes to school there. How is she not dating Matt Ryan?

UPDATE: She doesn't even go to BC. Some Superfan lied to us to try and salvage their repuation. Typical. Kelly belongs to Quinnipiac. What doesn't Quinnipiac beat BC at? I should have know she was way too hot to be a Superfan.

Do you know any smokeshows? Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click for more of Kelly

(Smoke em if you got em....Series Ends Tonight)

Let me start by saying that both these bets are stone cold winners.    But the question as always when deciding between the money line and the points is how greedy do you want to get?  Sure the Celtics seem like a mortal lock tonight, but god forbid something unforeseen should happen like Garnett, Pierce, Allen and Cassell all get hurt in the 1^st quarter and the Lakers go on to win on a miracle 3 at the buzzer .     Then everybody who took the money line will be forced to mutilate themselves because there is nothing worse in life than losing on the money line when you’re team covered vs. the spread.  But having said all that I still can’t pass up +270.  It’s just too juicy.  I mean it would be one thing if I thought the refs were going to cheat for the Lakers again, but they can’t because of all the scrutiny on them tonight.   So without the refs helping them, LA has no chance.     As I’ve been saying from the beginning of the series the Lakers don’t belong on the same court with the Celtics and tonight is going to prove that once and for all.       

Mortal Lock – Celts Money Line

Vote 1 for money line and 10 for spread

Much has been made about Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling sitting courtside at Game 2 of the Celtics-Lakers series in Boston and then blogging afterwards about how he thought that Lakers captain Kobe Bryant is too harsh on his teammates. In fact, the exact words "bitch at his teammates" were used in Schilling's post about Bryant. Well, after Wednesday's practice in L.A., Bryant responded to Schilling's claims. And while KB24's response was just two words, it was certainly MVP-worthy. When asked what he thought about Schilling's blog, Kobe simply replied: "Go Yankees."

I'll give Kobe credit for two things: One, he managed three nights in a Boston hotel without hurting any girls. Two, his reaction to Schilling was a lot more articulate than most of the sporting press. Here's what Lakers' ball-washer TJ Simers said in the LA Times:

Curt Schilling is gutless. He sits courtside in Boston for Game 2, eavesdropping on the Lakers' bench -- and how would he like someone listening to what they have to say in the Red Sox dugout, and then makes it appear on his blog, "38 Pitches," that Kobe Bryant is some kind of jerk who berates his teammates. But whatever, there's no bigger sissy than a hit-and-run blogger. If Schilling has got something to write, let's see him come to Los Angeles, stand outside the Lakers' locker room and get cussed out by Vanessa Bryant like every other blogger.

How funny has it been listening to reporters bitch about Schilling reporting on what takes place on the Lakers bench? Damn funny. Hasselhoff-eating-off-the-floor caliber funny. I mean, no one is claiming what he wrote... that Kobe is a selfish, self-absorbed narcissist and a lousy teammate... isn't accurate. They just resent the fact that he wrote it. TJ Simers can write all the hatchet jobs he wants (and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if this wasn't his first attack on the Bloody Sock), but when an athlete does it, well Schill's working their side of the street and somebody better put a stop to it because sportswriters, even talentless hacks, have to eat. Besides what's Curt Schilling ever done, besides winning three championships and being the best clutch pitcher of his generation, to justify writing critical items of an athlete, even if they're true? That should be the sole and exclusive purview of pasty-faced middle aged slobs. I'll say this about 38pitches, it's better than reading Dan Shaughnessy talking to Red Auerbach statues. At the very least I doubt that Schilling, unlike your typical LA Times reporter, isn't peeing his pants over getting yelled at by Vanessa Bryant.

And if Kobe wants to respond by casting his lot with a deadass, last place baseball team, so be it. But right now it's Schilling 1, Kobe 0.

"Honestly dude, clean it up"

These pictures were all over the place yesterday, but man who knew Wilbon had this type of game? He's totally grinding on Kendra here. But honestly what's the point? Kendra isn't allowed to fuck or else she gets kicked out of the Mansion right? I'm pretty sure that's the rule. In other words she's a walking case of blue balls. But that doesn't mean we can't enjoy this NSFW video from our friends at YouPorn.

pic from deadspin via some porn star/blogger. (Not Curt Schilling)

(Peeping Tom's Had No Choice But To Peep)

Boston.com - The two women were alone in a Mission Hill dormitory room that September night.But as Rosanne Strott and Emily Niland lay in bed together, at least two men were videotaping them from a Wentworth Institute of Technology dormitory across the alley. The women learned about the videotape of their intimate encounter seven months later, when a friend told them it had been uploaded on a computer network site for Wentworth students. Before long, the videotape had been seen by many others, including students at other universities. "I never felt so violated without anybody touching me before," said Strott, a 19-year-old sophomore at the Massachusetts College of Art and Design whose dorm room faced the Wentworth building. While Peeping Toms have long been a problem, the case underscores how in the YouTube age, those who scheme to violate others' privacy can do even more harm by using the Internet to broadcast what they capture."We in no way meant to embarrass them," he said. "We didn't understand the severity of the situation when we were taping it." But he said the women should have drawn their shades and turned off their lights. "This all would have never happened if their windows were closed," Siemiesz said.Siemiesz, who lived in a three-bedroom suite with Cunha on Huntington Avenue at the time, said he was sleeping when Cunha yelled at him and his roommate to come into his room. Soon, close to 10 men were gathered in the room, watching. Siemiesz said someone told him to get his video camera. He said that he was apprehensive, but that he wanted to fit in."I don't want to be seen as the loser who doesn't want to have any fun," he said. Siemiesz said he does not know how the tape ended up online.

First things first.  Somebody get me this video!   I can’t believe I haven’t seen this yet.  Second of all the kids who did the taping need to stop being such pussies.   They were peer pressured into taping these chicks?  Give me a fucking break!   I mean do you want to be a great Peeping Tom or not?   Listen if there is one thing I’ve learned as the preeminent smut peddler in Boston it’s that bitches that go lesbian with their windows open want the world to see it.  Otherwise they’d shut the blinds.  It’s not rocket science people.  So stop apologizing for giving these chicks what they wanted.   It was your duty as an American to tape them.  

PS – I love the line about how this chick never felt so violated without anybody touching her before.   Good to know it wasn’t as bad as the time her girlfriend shoved the dildo in her ass without her permission.  It’s all relative I guess.

The Best:

Chalk one up for America!

(Stan Grossfeld/Globe Staff)

The Worst

I'm trying to think of how to interpret this sign in a non racist way. Guess what? You can't. I'd rather live in Ethiopia or even Brockton as opposed to the South.

-LSU photo from Friends of the Program

(That counts as 1 pull up)

MONTERREY, Mexico - Manuel Uribe, who once weighed a half ton but has slimmed down to about 700 pounds, celebrates his 43rd birthday on Wednesday with a simple wish for the coming year: to be able to stand on his own two feet to get married. Interviewed at his home in northern Mexico, where he can still do little more than sit up on a bed, Uribe said more than two years of steady dieting have helped him drop about 550 pounds from his Guinness record weight of 1,235 pounds. But Uribe is still unable to walk his fiancee, Claudia Solis, down the aisle.

Uribe's story gives me a warm feeling in my heart. The technical term for it is "cardiac arrest from laughing so hard." I don't know where to begin breaking this story down. To use a simile my boy Manuel would appreciate, it's like a giant all-you-can-eat buffet of outstanding tidbits:

• Uribe has not been able to leave bed for the last six years.
• His most recent attempt to get out of the house fell through when a flatbed tow truck brought to transport his reinforced bed got caught beneath an underpass.
• "We are a couple,” Uribe said. “We have sex, and in the eyes of God we are already married.”
• Solis said life with a heavyweight is not always easy. “I bathe him every day,” she said.
• Solis' first husband, who was also a big fatty, died of respiratory failure.
• A botched liposuction that damaged his lymph nodes left him with giant tumors on both legs weighing a total of 220 pounds.

I have to confess, one of my guilty pleasures in this life are stories of enormous fat guys who eat themselves to the point they can't get out of bed. I collect them like baseball cards. And they always have the same elements: The guy has some enabler who keeps bringing him food. There's always some specialty truck they use to transport Two-Ton Harry like a flatbed used for hauling boulders or a whale sling they borrowed from the aquarium or something. But my favorite part is always when the guy claims he doesn't eat more than the normal guy, he just retains water or has a gland problem or an operation magically left him with 220 lb tumors. Of course when you actually break it down, the Salad Dodger in question always consumes more than the Patriots' 80-man roster on the first day of training camp. I don't claim to be a nutritionist, but it seems to me if you burn off more calories than you take in, you lose weight and vice versa. I've seen a thousand WWII documentaries, and in the concentration camps there was never one big fat guy saying "They're not feeding me either, I just had an operation go bad..."

And you have to love Claudia, chasing the chunk even after her first husband died of massive obesity. It gives me hope to know I can completely let myself go, and as soon as Manuel goes to that Krispy Kreme in the sky, there'll still be someone who loves me. Or is at least infatuated.

Click Here For The Answer

This is what the guy gets for skateboarding in the first place. Where is Police Officer Rivera when you need him?

Politico.com -A new bill sponsored by Rep. Anthony D. Weiner (D-N.Y.)would move foreign fashion models into a less-competitive visa category.  The bill’s language requires that the visiting model be “of distinguished merit and ability” and that the event or photo shoot have a “distinguished reputation.” Failing that, a model may be sponsored by “an organization or establishment that has a distinguished reputation for, or a record of, utilizing prominent modeling talent.”

I love how the guy who is sponsoring this bill’s last name is Weiner.    God outdid himself with that one.  Anyway it’s refreshing to finally see the Government worrying about shit that matters.  Hey Arlen Specter are you listening?   Enough with steroids and spygate.  All that matters is getting hot pussy into the country.    As a side note how do you get on the committee that decides whether a model is of distinguished merit and ability?  Nothing like having the fate of a hot chick’s visa resting in your hands.  I mean if you can’t get your dick sucked in that role than you might as well just call it quits on life. For real.

You know, when you're part of a world-dominant sports blog, sometimes you have to man up and admit that you might have gone too far. Sometimes in our zeal to be irreverent we might come off as too critical of others or give the appearance of taking cheap shots at teams from other cities. And when that happens, you owe it to your readership to make amends.

Since the NBA Finals began, we've called Kobe Bryant a rapist, said Phil Jackson is a pompous gasbag, made fun of the softness of their Eurotrash players and accused owner Jerry Buss of being a lecherous, dirty old man. The Lakers responded with a Game 3 win that, while completely unimpressive, was a win nevertheless. Good for them for helping make this series somewhat interesting. So to return the favor, and to make up for the earlier cheap shots directed at the Lakers, we present a tribute to the Lakers' Jeanie Buss.

The crack staff over at Barstool's Dept. of Spending Ten Seconds Googling Someone's Name uncovered these tidbits about Jeanie:

• She's the Lakers' Executive VP of Business Operations
• She's a winner of the Lucky Sperm Contest as her Frank Costanza doppleganger father is a real estate mogul with his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
• Mr. Buss' nepotism extends to the coach, since she's dating Jackson
• A few years ago she dragged Jackson with her onto an episode of "Dog Whisperer" that couldn't have been more emasculating if she detached his penis and wore it on a chain around her neck:

• Once, after her brother Jim, who runs the Lakers' basketball ops, criticized her boyfriend on the radio, she diminished Zen Boy's manhood further by defending him: "...she said she was 'very protective of Phil... I know how hard he works, and I know how dedicated he is'..."
• She used to date the thoroughly unlikeable John McEnroe
• She would look much better with basketballs as breasts
• Jeanie has posed for dozens of NSFW pictures
• Judging by those pictures, her last name should end with an "H"