Police are now investigating an alleged inappropriate relationship between Cara Dickey, a 29-year-old Buffalo teacher, and her 14-year-old student Nicholas DeJesus, after he disappeared Monday night. DeJesus, a student at South Buffalo Charter School, was found the next day wandering around a local mall, while Dickey was found sleeping in her car in Tuesday morning.

School officials said the teacher had been suspended with pay and escorted from school Monday morning after she was caught text-messaging DeJesus. After DeJesus' phone was seized, they found inappropriate text messages between the student and teacher. It's believed that DeJesus snuck out of school sometime between 1:30 and 2 p.m. to meet with Dickey. Since the two left school at different times, and were found separately, officers are investigating whether or not they had met and spent the night together.

We've done some exhaustive investigation at the Bastool Sports Dept. of Wikipedia Research and discovered that Charter Schools are "are publicly funded elementary or secondary schools... that have been freed from some of the rules, regulations, and statutes that apply to other public schools..." So why is this such a big deal? Charter Schools are all about promoting innovation in education. Why can't those "statutes" they're "freed" from include Statutory Rape? Maybe at your local middle school teachers are bogged down by the bureaucrats and red tape which discourage them from sending sexy text messages to 14 year olds then running off and spending the night with them before dumping them at the mall and sleeping off their love hangover in the car, but where's that gotten us? It's gotten us to the point where there's a waiting list to get into a place like South Buffalo Charter, where teachers like Mrs. Dickey can try new and creative ways to save America's youth from their own horniness.

The Grades:
Looks: That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. If being a great Sex Scandal Teacher was only about looks, Cara would be a first team All-American. Grade: A.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgement: Inappropriate text messaging is of course a huge plus here; because we all know a 14 year old boy will delete those the first chance he gets. But until we get it confirmed that she actually canoodled with the DeJesus lad, she'll have to settle for a Grade: C.
Intangibles: Her name is Dickey. And her husband looks like he belongs to a fundamentalist sect. Grade: B+.
Overall: B+. But we reserve the right to change the grade if we get evident of actual boinking. This is an A waiting to happen. (Thanks to Jim F. for the tip on this.)