Random Thoughts

"Can I play?"

LILLINGTON — Rebecca Dawson — the woman who is accused of partially castrating a man with her bare hands — has a new court date. Her retrial is scheduled to start Aug. 25... Dawson’s December 2007 trial ended in a deadlock after four women and eight men could not agree on a unanimous decision. Four jurors voted to acquit Dawson...

In December 2006, Dawson was charged with felony counts of malicious castration, assault with serious bodily injury, malicious conduct by a prisoner and misdemeanor injury to property after former Special Forces soldier Ken Russ was maimed at a Christmas party. During the last trial, Russ testified that an intoxicated Dawson sank her acrylic nails into his scrotum after he refused to let her drive home.

Dawson testified that she was defending herself from Russ, who had asked her to engage in a sex act with both him and his girlfriend Tanya “Niki” Castello... She said she had a grip on Russ’ scrotum, trying to defend herself, when he fell over a box and tore the skin.

At the risk of being accused of gender profiling, does anyone else care to guess which four jurors voted to acquit Dawson? As a guy who's very attached to his own testicles, I'm all for justice here, but a retrial is a complete waste of taxpayer's dollars. Until they get a jury that's 12 men or 12 women, this thing is a just another deadlock waiting to happen. The only chance the prosecution has would be if, during the empanelment, when they ask questions like "Are you more likely to believe a police officer?" or "Are you less likely to believe a minority defendant?" they added the question "Have you ever considered tearing a guy's ballbag off?" Because if they did, 100% of women would raise their hand. Even the meekest, most timid woman on Earth has either given it serious thought or at the very least given a "You go, Girl" to every story of where a chick has actually gone through with it. They can claim to hate violent movies, violent sports and even the Three Stooges, but for some reason they think separating a guy from his Wife's Best Friend is their goddamned birthright.

MAY 18th 2008

Boston.com - What's your appearance schedule like? Can we expect to see you, say at Roxy or Rumors?

I do fashion events, parades, and benefits, but no bar events or anything that would compromise the crown. I have been asked to host events at different clubs, but being Miss Massachusetts is not being at a club all night long. I'm in bed at 10 at night.

 JUNE 24th 2008

Inside Track - Miss Massachusetts Jacqueline Bruno poses with two contestants of the Miss Boston 2008 Model Search Competition, Christina Sylvia of Weymouth and Alida D’Angona of Bolton, at Felt Boston. The three-week competition is dedicated to finding the ultimate local beauty to be the face of Boston for 2008. The lucky winner will receive a trip to a tropical destination, a magazine spread in Stomp Fashion Magazine and a fashion shoot with fashion photog Stewart Smith.

Hmm, last time I check Felt was a Bar.   It looks like the Million Dollar Man was right after all.  Everybody does have a price.    Anyway what’s with this bullshit Miss Boston competition?   Shouldn’t Felt have needed to get my permission to run a contest like first?   In fact I thought we automatically trademarked that Miss Boston slogan just by our very existence.   But I’ll tell you what.  Just because I’m in a good mood today we’ll let the winner of this thing enter one of our Smokeshow Brackets.    Let’s see if they can make it out of the first round alive before we start throwing around titles like Miss Boston.  Because in my book you ain’t Miss shit until you’ve beaten out the best of the best that the Stool has to offer. Although the girl on the right is cute.

An eagle eyed reader sent in this photo today. What the fuck? Dude make up your fucking mind. You can't be a Yankees fan and a Celtics fan. Go root for the Knicks or something. The only possible explanation is that somebody put the Celtics sticker on his car without him knowing it and he's afraid to remove it because it will screw up the car or something. Although it's already pretty fucked up with the Yankee shit on there. Regardless, this happened to the Astrovan. Somebody put a "NY Sucks" sticker on it, but I was obviously cool with that. Bottom line is that it's tough to take anybody seriously at life when they have both Yankee and Celtic bumper stickers on their car.

FRAMINGHAM — A maintenance man whom a woman reported smoking crack in her kitchen was arrested yesterday, police said. Jerome Prince, 39, of 24 St. Lo Road., Framingham, was arrested on charges of nighttime breaking and entering, said police spokesman Lt. Paul Shastany.  Shastany said a woman living at 157 Second St. told police she came home early on Friday and saw her building's utility man cooking crack cocaine in her sink. Police confronted Prince about the incident yesterday at about 9:30 a.m., and Prince first said he was unclogging a drain in the woman's apartment but later admitted to cooking crack cocaine from a spoon in her kitchen "because he could."

Because he can!    It’s the perfect answer for any situation.  Why was Mike Crotty talking trash in a coed basketball game?  Because he can!   Why are Boston fans so cocky and arrogant?  Because we can!    Why was the maintenance man cooking crack cocaine in this lady’s kitchen?  Because he can!

Thank to Jeff for the tip

Click Here For the Answer

From the LA Daily News via SportsbyBrooks: Dodgers infielder Nomar Garciaparra said a genetic predisposition, one he didn't know he had until it was identified by a Boston physical therapist with whom he voluntarily consulted last week, is the reason his left-calf strain has been so long in healing. Garciaparra shut down a minor-league rehabilitation assignment after one game when he woke up Wednesday morning with more discomfort.

Garciaparra said the condition causes him to develop more scar tissue at the injury site than the average person, with that tissue limiting his flexibility and increasing the likelihood that he will aggravate the injury by playing on it.Garciaparra has been on the disabled list five times in his three seasons with the Dodgers with injuries to two different muscles and two different joints.

Well thank God that mystery has been solved. In spite of all the rumors of Nomar's injuries being caused by PED's or SMS (Steve McNair Syndrome), it was his really his DNA the whole time. Nomar can't help it; the Disabled List is in his blood. It's his heritage. So everyone who questioned his toughness or suggested he was dogging it that time in Yankee Stadium when he was sitting on his hands while Jeter was crashing into the stands is guilty of a hate crime. The sportwriters and 'EEI guys ought to count themselves lucky if he doesn't sue them for violating his civil rights.

EL PRES NOTE - People like Jerry Thornton can make fun of this all they want, but it explains a lot. Lesser men wouldn't even try to rehab when they are cursed with the slow rehab gene. It's a credit to how much Nomar loves the game and his work ethic that he continues to fight and battle to get back on the field where he belongs. The world just doesn't seem right when Nomar isn't on the ball field does it?

Masslive - A Chicopee man rocked the competition over the weekend in Las Vegas, beating more than 300 of the nation's finest "Rock Paper Scissors" players to earn a $50,000 first prize.   Sean Sears, 23, of Leo Drive threw a winning rock to conquer his opponent's scissors to win the 2008 Bud Light/USA Rock Paper Scissors League Championship.  His victory came in the event's third annual tournament, which will be aired Oct. 6 on ESPN. It took place Saturday and Sunday at the Mandalay Bay Hotel & Casino.  "Bud Light congratulates Sean," said Rick Leininger, a spokesman for Anheuser-Busch, adding that the championship "is all about competition, camaraderie, and most importantly, fun times."

Cue the Duckboats!     Honestly what don’t we dominate at?   Baseball, basketball, cup stacking, football and now Rock Paper Scissors.   I guess when it’s your decade it’s your fucking decade.   Seriously though what was that chick thinking who Sean beat in the finals.     I just don’t get how you let rock beat you?    That’s like letting Jordan beat you in his prime.   Everybody knows that you need to make scissors and paper prove they can make some shots before you play man to man on rock.      

Well looks like these shirts got outdated fast.....

George Carlin is one of those rare performers who you liked even though he was thoroughly unlikeable. He was angry, irascible and bitter. He was a hardcore, counter-culture hippy even as a multi-millionaire 70 year old. He was also brilliant, funny and so original he never had to change his approach, even though he was on top for close to 50 years. Which isn't to say he repeated himself; he updated his material constantly. But his point of view was the same: he found the sacred cows, slaughtered them, ate them, and sucked the marrow from their bones. Only the cows changed, he never did. For the generation who came after the Baby Boomers, your older brother's Carlin albums were the first exposure you had to dirty comedy and if you memorized the bits you were a school lunch room/ recess legend. A fact that made it really strange to deal with when your kids were watching Carlin play Conductor on Thomas the Tank Engine. Too bad, Carlin had a lot more good comedy left in him. And what's Mike Barnicle gonna do for material now?

More Petra here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com