Random Thoughts

Okay it's the matchup everybody has been waiting for. The classic brunette vs. blonde showdown for the ages. It's like Ali vs. Frazier IV. For every expert who has picked Megan to win, there is somebody who picked Valerie.

As a reminder the winner of this contest gets 500 bucks and advances to the Smokeshow Finals where Lauren awaits them. Click Here To Vote.

Voting ends next Friday. You can vote once a day until then...

Oh and we need smokeshows! Keep em hot people! We've had another little slowdown so it's time to step on the gas. Send nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

MEGAN

Vs.

VALERIE

Does anyone in Boston care about the NBA Draft?  It’s tonight in case you forgot.  Anyway it’s impossible to predict this stuff but some people are saying the C's will trade the pick + Big Baby for a 2009 1st rounder, ESPN’s Chad Ford has the Celtics taking Memphis’ Chris Douglas-Roberts at #30 while others think they're going to draft somebody from a foreign country that nobody's ever heard of. The player, not the country. Hey, I wonder what this chick thinks about the Celtics? (see above)  It’s obvious she’s done her homework on the Clippers, I’m curious what her take is on the C’s. 

A time capsule nestled in the cornerstone of what was once Roxbury's largest and most notable furniture store gave residents a glimpse today of Boston in 1922. The copper box opened today also contained a written copy of a speech given at the ceremony 86 years ago by legendary Boston Mayor James Michael Curley... Mayor Thomas M. Menino opened the capsule today and presented the items to State Representative Byron Rushing, who was acting on behalf of the Roxbury Historical Society.

The mayor's office is soliciting suggestions for items to be placed in another time capsule, which will be buried in the new building.

The Globe failed to mention that also in the box was a Dan Shaughnessy column describing how Harry Frazee sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees to pay for "No, No Nannette." But I digest. The question before us is what should go in Menino's time capsule? How can you define this era in Boston history for future generations? To me, it's fairly cut and dried. We live in the Time of Champions. That's who we are. Representing any other aspect of our lives with political speeches or furniture ads would be irrelevant. Our descendants should know that the decade of the 2000's was one endless conga line of duck boats, confetti cannons and drunken numbskulls whooping it up in the streets.

I supposed our posterity should know as well that we lived in the time where hot women first learned to appreciate the joys of posing for sexy pictures. So that's two things: Champions and smokeshows. Sounds fairly simple to me. I think all you need to do is throw some back issues of Barstool in there and you've pretty much summed us up. What am I missing? What else should Menino put in this time capsule?

I didn't think Paul Pierce's stock could go any higher, but I think it just did after his self-deprecating appearance last night on Jimmy Kimmel. Really a great interview. Granted nobody actually saw it live because nobody watches Jimmy Kimmel, but thanks to Youtube we can all view it today just a few hours later. And speaking of nobody watching... the NBA Draft is tonight. Who knew?

Last night's win over Arizona was the exact halfway mark of the regular season. And it's a good thing they ended the first half on a high note because Lord knows what a disaster it's been. Consider:

• The schedule makers did them no favors as they had to start the season with a road trip that took them halfway to Neptune, play two games that counted, then fly from Toyko to LA to play games that didn't count, then go to Oakland, Toronto, Uruguay, Oslo, Fallujah and eventually back to Boston.
• The best clutch pitcher and a possible HoFer opened the season on the disabled list, and eventually had to shut it down for the season and probably forever.
• Their ace spent time on the disabled list.
• Their No. 2 starter did too.
• Their 3rd basemean, the World Series MVP and the indispensible guy everyone agreed last winter they had to sign, got hurt.
• The No. 3 hitter, the one guy who truly is indispensible, is out for at least a month and probably more.
• And prior to getting hurt he started the year with the worst slump of his career.
• The shortstop leads the majors in errors. (Julio Lugenteria)
• The $70 million RF has been out of the lineup at various times with a sore back, tight quad, bad haircut, Dave Mathews tickets, vertigo, fever for the flavor of Pringles, Jewish holidays and menstrual cramps.
• The phenom who pitched a no-hitter last year is rehabbing in the minors.
• The ace, who last year pulled out opponent's entrails and wore them as a necktie, is 7-5.
• The bullpen setup guys who were lights out last year have struggled.
• The all world closer, the new face of the franchise, has already blown more saves than he did all of last year.

All of which makes the case that the 2008 Red Sox season is an unmitigated disaster. Wait. Strike that. They've won 49 games, the most in the majors. They're on pace to win 98, which is 2 more than they won last year when they were box-to-wire the best team in baseball. They're a blend of seasoned veterans conditioned to winning and young, emerging talents who've already shown they can come through when it counts. They've got pitching prodigies other teams would kill to have >cough< Yankees >cough, cough< for whom they don't have room on the major league roster. I guess it's not a disaster. My bad. Never mind.

Click Here For the Answer

"A tradition unlike any other..."

or

"I smell varmint poontang."

From Wizard of Odds: Kansas' No. 1 fan is getting married. White Owl... and former Jayhawk student Julia Lee are planning to tie the knot. White Owl is 61, Lee 22. Fans have long known the wise, old Owl for his vocal support of the Jayhawks, rhythmic dancing and criticisms of the Vietnam War. Given that he knows how to put on the all moves, it was only a matter of time before White Owl found a mate. But Lee's family is not happy about the daughter running off and getting married. "They are still kind of struggling with this," Lee said. "My dad wants to meet with a third party so we can communicate about this. He wants to meet with me, my mom and a preacher to sort some of this stuff out.

Just a quick thought for Lee's parents. I'm no preacher, but allow me if you will, to be that third party you need. What attracts your daughter to White Owl isn't his vocal support of the Jayhawks, his rhythmic dancing or even his criticisms of the Vietnam War (which never fails when you're trying to nail some coed, by the way). It's his tickets. Have you seen where this old coot sits? I don't know much about KU football, but I've got to think that's a tough get. You have only yourself to blame that you didn't get on the season ticket list in the late '60s like White Owl. If you did, and you were sitting in Erin Andrews territory instead of him, your precious girl wouldn't be getting defiled by this freakshow. Deal with it, hope he croaks soon and then enjoy your seats. Lord knows if I had a daughter who was willing to seduce Dennis Drinkwater for his seats behind home plate at Fenway, I'd suck it up.

Here we go again. Here is yet another example of violence breaking out at a country music concert. In this case it's Tim McGraw assaulting a fan in the middle of one of his songs after the thug started smacking a woman around in the front row. But what else could we expect?

For years, country music has promoted a culture of violence. From Johnny Cash writing songs promoting prison life and with lyrics like "I shot a man just to watch him die," all the way to McGraw himself glorifying a culture of death with "Live Like You Were Dying," the C&W industry has only themselves to blame. And do I need to remind everyone about the trouble that McGraw's wife Faith Hill started at the Grammys when she lost the Best Female Country Artist award to Carrie Underwood? Not to mention how so much of the whole country genre promotes abusing substances like Jack Daniels and SoCo.

It's reprehensble. It's time for Redneck Cracker-American leaders to stand up and decry the horrible influence these country "artists" are having in their community.

MOSCOW - A monument to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk. The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800 pounds and is held by three angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa, the spa's director said Thursday. "There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art," Alexander Kharchenko told The Associated Press. "An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

Kharchenko, 50, said the monument cost $42,000 and was installed in a square in front of his spa on Wednesday. A banner declaring: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas"... was posted on one of the spa's walls.

Civic pride is an important thing. Psychologists will tell you it's ingrained in human beings to want to feel like part of a collective, of some greater good beyond yourself. So every community should have something they feel proud of. LA has Hollywood. Nashville has country music. New York has Broadway. Zheleznovodsk has enemas. Good for all of them; it's nice to have something to be proud of. And if it just so happens that Boston is the City of Champions... lots and lots of champions... and Zheleznovodsk is the place you go to get your colon cleaned out, who are we to feel superior?

In fact, I think it's a great idea. I say as a gesture of goodwill the city of Boston should have an enema statue built and sent to every city we humiliate on the way to all future championships, the way France sent the US the Statue of Liberty. Just as a way to say, "Here ya go, LA. Stick this up your ass."

To see much more of the star of "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" on Showtime, click here...

From Boston.com...

Next to Yankees caps and Giants jerseys, the pink Red Sox cap has become the most polarizing piece of clothing a Bostonian can wear. Fans of the hats think they're simply a cute way to show their love for the Sox. Haters say pink-hat owners are latecomers who only support the Sox because it's suddenly cool - even fashionable - to do so. Pink-hat wearers haven't suffered sufficiently, they reason. No one suffers in pink.

If local sports blogs, fan sites, and talk radio are any indication, the sniping is approaching fever pitch, now that the Sox have two recent Series wins to their credit. Message boards at local sites like Barstool Sports fill up with vitriolic comments - most of which are unfit for publication - on both sides of the issue whenever pink hats are mentioned.

Is this piece overstating the case? I think they are. I mean, I've used the term "Pink Hats" as a slur. Like in 2004, I know I mocked the 19 year old college nitwits from Long Island who ran in front of the TV cameras and yelled "I've waited my whole life for this!!!" with the epithet "Pink Hats." But I think I'm like most Sox fans in that to me it's just kind of a metaphor. I don't recall ever sitting in the stands grumbling because some chick in front of me was actually wearing one and I was offended by it like she was Mrs. ARod with the F-bomb on the back of her t-shirt. I suppose you can resent them if you think the wearer is by their very nature a newcomer fan, but why would you? The Sox are the most popular team in baseball by a long distance, of course they're going to have new fans. I'm not going to hold a grudge because some of the newbies didn't suffer through '86 with me.

I guess the bottom line is that as long as the majority of Pink Hats are hot girls, I'm not going to have a problem with them. If you're looking looking enough, you could wear a "Thornton: Tell Me How My Ass Taste" t-shirt and I'd be OK with it.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you really hate the pink Sox hat?