Random Thoughts

Hey Tampa, keep beating each other off. Keep playing Sweet Caroline after your victories to mock us. Just remember it's the first fucking week in July. In a weird way I'm actually glad you swept us. I think it's good for baseball if you can hold off your collapse until mid August. And don't worry the collapse will definitely come. It's just a matter of time. After all you guys are Tampa Bay and we're Boston. Don't ever forget that.

PS - What was up with all the empty seats? They kept saying it was a capacity crowd, but it didn't look it to me. If Red Sox fans weren't there the place would have been half empty.

Introducing Rachel from Berklee College of Music. I'm not even sure this chick counts since she is from Miami and looks the part, but she does go to school here. Regardless one thing is for sure. The Berklee dorks probably fucking cream the shit out of themselves every time they see this girl. This girl is pretty much perfect looking.

WE NEED NOMINATIONS. NO FUCKING AROUND. Send them to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click for more of Rachel

Let's hope she makes it to 23.

Also click here to see her borderline naked. Click here for vintage Lohan

TMZ. com - NBA champ Paul Pierce aka lucky bastard -- got a four hour Swedish massage in his cabana at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas this weekend.The baller tipped his two hot masseuses $500 each. What a happy ending.

See this is what happens when you win a World Championship. Perfect asses just start showing up everywhere you go. Doesn't matter whether you're getting a massage, a haircut or shopping for groceries. It's asses, asses and more asses for the Truth from now on. God Bless Him. He deserves it.

PS - If the Stool ever hits it big time I'm totally going to hire ass models to follow me around everywhere I go. And anytime somebody snaps a photo of me they'll jump into the picture ass first. It will be my trademark. "Oh there is El Pres and his posse of asses". I got to copyright this shit.

JULY 2--A Kentucky woman is facing prostitution charges for allegedly trading sex for gasoline. Angela Eversole, 34, was nabbed last weekend during a police stakeout at a Days Inn, where she allegedly trysted with customer Kenneth Nowak. According to court records, Nowak admitted paying for Eversole's services, in part, with a $100 Speedway gas card. Eversole was hit with a prostitution rap and also charged with doing business without an occupational license. Nowak was charged with promoting prostitution. Eversole and Nowak are pictured below in mug shots snapped following their June 27 arrests. A local prosecutor noted that it was sad to see someone selling their body for gas, in this case about 25 gallons worth.

It's official! Gas prices are out of control. I've said from Day 1 that the true measure of when the economy has hit rock bottom is when the hookers start trading gas cards for sex. They don't even do this in Canada. And is it any surprise that Angela was doing business without an occupational license? She probably needed the gas card so that she could drive herself to the Hooker DMV and renew her prostitution license.  See this is what people don’t get about high gas prices.  It affects everybody from every walk of life.   So yeah it is sad to see somebody selling their body for gas but a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

CENTRAL ISLIP, N.Y. - Christie Brinkley's estranged husband spent about $3,000 a month on pornographic Web sites, the model's lawyer said at the start of the couple's nasty divorce trial.

“That is the man who's come before this court and asked for custody of his 13-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter," attorney Robert Stephan Cohen said of Peter Cook. The couple's daughter, Sailor, had her birthday on Wednesday.

"It was wrong and he said it was wrong," Cook's lawyer, Norman Sheresky, said of the porn.

You’re God damn right it’s wrong!  What is this clown doing for paying for internet porn these days?  What is it, 2003?  Jesus Christ we’ve got youporn.com, pornhub.com (Barstool recommends), redtube.com.  There’s more free porn out there than non-free porn.  I mean it’s not exactly breaking news that married dudes watch internet porn in the first place, even the ones married to former supermodels, the real crime here is that the guy actually paid for it.  What an idiot.  Forget custody, the guy should be imprisoned just for that.

Is It NBA Or NFL?

VS.

36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks
 
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges 
 
8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 currently are defendants in lawsuits  
 
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year


Can you guess which organization this is?


It's the 435 members of the United States Congress. Way to go Arlen!

Click here for the answer

Well today’s Question of the Day comes with a stipulation of protecting the innocent.  Let’s just call them Buddy A and Buddy B.   Okay, first of all what happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas.  It gets written about in Barstool Sports.  Last week Buddy A is in Vegas for a bachelor party, they go to a strip club, blah blah and he ends up in the back room for 2 hours.  Anyway all his buddies leave without him so as he’s walking home to the hotel by himself – what do you know, he spots 2 hookers on the street.   “$600 for both of us” they propose.  “Nope, I’ll just take you” as he points to clearly the more attractive of the two.   Buddy A then takes her back to the hotel and into the bathroom.. they negotiate a $300 hummer, which sounds like Eliot Spitzer type money, however half-way through the experience he decides to upgrade to the full-service package for an extra $100.  She agrees.  Then about 10 minutes later Buddy B enters the picture and starts pounding on the bathroom door because he has to take a shit.  Buddy A then yells “No, no!”  Buddy B, not realizing the situation refuses to leave the scene and continues to demand entrance to the bathroom.  "Dude, I gotta get in there." Buddy A then unfortunately “loses focus” and ends up not getting the full-service package but of course, still has to pay the extra $100. 

Now, the question of the day is – does Buddy B owe Buddy A the extra $100?  Buddy A obviously thinks so, and is still fired up about it today.   He agrees the first $300 is on him but the extra $100 should come from Buddy B's wallet.  Buddy B says “No way. I’m not paying you $100 because I had to take a shit.” Frankly I’m on Buddy A's side here.  Buddy B has to know better in that situation.  Hookers in the bathroom should supersede anything else.  

Per usual, we’ll let the Stoolies decide on who owes the extra $100.  Vote 1 for Buddy A, Vote 10 for Buddy B.

I love Ray Liota. Guy doesn't give a fuck. He'll be a one man "white out" right in your eye." If you don't respect that then you have a big dump in your pants.

"First things first. Did the fat thing in the middle duck tape her bikini top together? Simply Diabolical!"

PALM BAY, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35, Orlando) -- Adrienne Laflamme, a 60-year-old teacher, was taken into custody for having a sexual relationship with a teenage boy. The science teacher was teaching at the Juvenile Detention Center in Cocoa when she met the victim. She taught the 17-year-old inmate in one of her classes. Shortly after he was released from the detention center, Laflamme began a relationship with the him.   The victims says that over a months' time, Laflamme and him had sex 15 times. They partook in vaginal, as well as oral, sex. The victim also stated that "they had a 'three way' with" a 14-year-old boy.

In the middle of May, Laflamme left for vacation giving permission to the victim to use her car. The victim's mother contacted authorities at the Juvenile Detention Center after finding out about the relationship. When the defendant learned she was under investigation, she reported her car stolen. She continued to cover her tracks when she encouraged the victim to lie about their relationship.

Judging by the reactions of the two hot news anchors, apparently there's a limit to how much we can expect America's horny juvenile delinquents to take, and Adrienne has crossed that line. Manzo is the world's foremost authority on How Old is Too Old to do any number of things in this world, and while he hasn't answered the question "How old is too old to have vaginal and oral sex with one of your 14 year old students?" I'm sure he'd put the number well under 60. Somewhere north of 55 you start violating the Cruel and Unusual Punishment clause of the Bill of Rights. On the other hand, this is Florida we're talking about. Where not only is the median age 72, but banging your students is part of the culture. Florida is to teacher sex what Vermont is to maple syrup. For all we know, LaFlamme was just doing her part to keep the school's accrediation.

The Grades:
Looks: "Not bad for a 60 year old" is like "Smartest Hogan"; damning someone with faint praise. Grade: D-.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgement: Threesomes = Extra Credit. Does it seem like charging her with giving the kid use of her car is just kind of piling on? I mean, if she thinks he's mature enough to drive her... Grade: A.
Intangibles: I guess we can assume part of that science class was biology, reproduction and anatomy. Of course she could've taught history, since she's lived it. Grade: A.
Overall: C. Again, the grades are heavily weighted toward looks. Maybe if she'd started in 1978...

If you're new to the Stool welcome to The Day After A Big Party Fluff Day. This of course is when we take a break from our usual hard hitting commentary and post lots of videos and mindless shit to get us through a day when our brains don't work from getting wrecked the night before.

Anyway, I don't know much about Karate but I do know that if you get knocked out on the very first move of the fight than you suck and need to quit. I mean the kid in the white didn't even think about moving. Never even crossed his mind. It's almost like he didn't know kicking was allowed.

See this is why I don't understand the pink hat debate. Nobody in their right mind can tell me that this lady isn't a hardcore Red Sox fan, but she's wearing a pink hat. Does that mean she is a fake fan? No fucking way. My mom has every color of Red Sox hat in the book. Yellow, Pink, baby blue etc. And trust me when I say she's a real fan. She's watched every game pretty much since I've been alive. As I told the Globe when they interviewed me and didn't use any of my brilliant quotes for their pink hat article, it's not the pink hats people hate, it's Red Sox Nation. And by Red Sox Nation I mean the fact that the new ownership has tried to make it hip and cool to root for the Red Sox throughout the country.. Bostonians are territorial. We don't want to share the Red Sox with anybody. It's us against the world. But this ownership group has gone out of their way to make the Red Sox a circus. That's what people hate. And then they blame the fact tickets are so expensive on the Pink Hats as well which simply isn't true. The reason tickets are expensive is because the Red Sox are awesome. Same thing with the Pats but nobody complains about that because the ownership doesn't create the same foofy atmosphere with Patriot Nation. The world hates the Pats which is just the way we like it and why this isn't an issue with them.

PS - Did this blog even make sense? I'm not sure what giving the bird had to do with any of this. But I'm still hung over and lying in bed blogging right now because that's what I do. (free mental image for the ladies)

To see much more of Kristen, click here...