Random Thoughts
Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day (Courtney)
Introducing Courtney from Andover. I saw Courtney at Waterworks (excuse me the upscale Marina Bay Beach Club, cough cough) a couple years ago and she was just about the hottest chick I've ever seen in my life. It took me long enough to find her and make her our Smokeshow of the Day huh?
Are you a hot chick who I spotted a couple years ago and forgot about? If you are send in your smokeshow photos ASAP. It's your duty! Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com
Whoever Let Brooke Hogan Dress Like This In Public Needs To Be Executed
Poor Brooke Hogan. See this is what happens when your kid brother cripples a kid in a car accident, your parents get a divorce, your dad rubs lotion on your ass and your mom starts dating a 15 year old that looks like everybody in your family. You end up wearing outfits like this in public and making me want to puke. Seriously whoever told Brooke it was okay to wear this deserves to be executed.
Patriots Rookies are Smarter Than Everybody Elses
From Christopher Gaspar:
Patriots draft picks linebacker Jerod Mayo, cornerback Terrence Wheatley, linebacker Shawn Crable, quarterback Kevin O'Connell, cornerback Jonathan Wilhite, kick returner Matthew Slater and linebacker Bo Ruud combined to win the "Ultimate Rookie Challenge" trivia contest at the NFL Rookie Symposium, which was held earlier this month in Carlsbad, Calif.
Players were asked a series of 32 questions about topics ranging from their NFL benefits packages to material from some of the educational seminars on finance and life skills that were held during the three-and-a-half day symposium, as well as some basic NFL trivia. Individual scores were combined to come up with the top team score, and the seven Pats rookies fared the best.
Each Patriots rookie was awarded a 32-inch Samsung flat screen TV for the New England newbies' collective victory. O'Connell, the team's second of two third-round picks, finished fourth among all 252 draftees in attendance and received an iPod as well.
It's like I've been saying for years: Every GM in the NFL preaches that they look for smart players, but Belichick and Pioli back it up. I mean, they want intelligent players who are also strong, fast and would pull their grandmother's windpipe out through her mouth to win a championship. As much of premium as they put on intelligence, they're not going to draft Christopher Mintz-Plasse or Kati Cawley. But I wouldn't be surprised to find out Ruud works on the Finobacci Sequence between plays. Or Mayo likes to sit around after practice discussing Cartesian Dualism. I'll bet Slater likes to calculate Pi while he's breaking down opponent's Special Teams tapes. And I wouldn't be the least bit shocked to hear that O'Connell carries a copy of "Ulysses" inside his playbook for a bit of light reading once he's mastered the offense. Training camp can't start fast enough.
Worst Game Show Contestant Showdown...Price Is Right Lady Vs. Wheel of Fortune Lady
Vs.
As big of an idiot as that lady is in the Price is Right clip is, the bottom line is that she still somehow managed to pull out a victory. And in America winning championships is still all that matters. Unfortunatly the same can't be said for the Wheel of Fortune dumbass. The look on Pat Sajak's face says it all. It just doesn't get any worse than that.
Vote 1 for Price is Right and 10 for Wheel of Fortune
Harwich Man Arrested For Trying To Rob Convenience Store With A Fake Grenade
HARWICH, Mass. -- Bail has been set at $200,000 cash for a Harwich man accused of trying to rob a convenience store armed with a grenade that turned out to be fake. Police say a masked Dennis Walsh walked into the store Sunday night holding the grenade and demanded money from the cash register while threatening to pull the pin. Police say Walsh fumbled with the pin, then got scared by a store employee and tried to escape. Three witnesses chased and grabbed him. Walsh is charged with armed robbery while masked, assault to rob while armed and assault with a dangerous weapon. He pleaded not guilty at his arraignment Monday in Orleans District Court.
If it weren’t for the fact this guy was wearing a Pats sweatshirt I’d say he was dumbest criminal of all time. I mean what kind of idiot uses a fake grenade to rob a convenience store? What happened to guns? Is that too simple? Obviously the clerk knows you’re bullshitting with a grenade. I mean what are you going to do, blow yourself up to get the money? That would defeat the whole purpose or robbing the store in first place. After all everybody knows that you can’t buy shit when you’re dead. At least that's what my sources tell me.
Caption Contest
"Greta can you please promise me that you'll wait to masturbate until the interview is over"
Umbrellas Attack People on Beach
"Dude!"
Well it's official. I will regret not being on this beach watching umbrellas attack people for the rest of my life. I'm so jealous. This was a once and a lifetime opportunity. Shame on me for not being there. I live for this type of shit.
South Carolina is So Gay
MSNBC.com - A state employee has resigned and officials have disavowed an international advertising campaign that led to calls for an investigation of tourism posters proclaiming “South Carolina is so gay.” The campaign, which plastered the London subway with posters advertising the charms of South Carolina and five major U.S. cities to gay European tourists, landed with a resounding thud in South Carolina, where the issue of gay rights has long been a political flashpoint. Similar ads were posted for Atlanta, Boston, Las Vegas, New Orleans and Washington, D.C., none of which reported any negative backlash. But in South Carolina, reaction to the posters was swift. Republican state Sen. David Thomas of Greenville protested the campaign and called for an audit of the advertising budget overseen by the state Department of Parks, Recreation and Tourism. “South Carolinians will be irate when they learn their hard earned tax dollars are being spent to advertise our state as ‘so gay,’” Thomas said in a statement.
Listen I’d be pissed if I was from South Carolina too. I mean what kind of half assed gay advertising campaign is this? The Civil War and golf? You really think this is going to bring the London Gays to the Palmetto State? Talk about throwing money out the window. Because everybody knows the London Gays are into World Championships, The South End and Seafood. In other words just like with everything else Boston wins.
Worst Moments in Yankee Stadium History
For reasons unclear to me, this year the Major League All-Star Game, which used to be a nice, little mid-season diversion and a chance to showcase the game's best players, has been replaced with a big, fawning, obsequious celebration of all things Yankee. It's a Bronxapalooza. Every media outlet in the country is joining in on the unctuous toadying to the point there's nowhere you can hide from the everyone's list of The Great Moments in Yankee Stadium history. Babe Ruth. Gehrig. Mr. October. College football. Boxing. Concerts. Popes. Giambi's porn 'stache. Everywhere they're joining in on the groveling at the steps of the House That Ruth Built as they await the opening of The House That the New York Government's Woefully Misplaced Priorities Built. Everywhere, that is, except here. So without further ado we give you;
The Worst Moments in Yankee Stadium History:
11. Gotham Bowl
The 1962 game featured Nebraska against Miami and was played in front of only 6,100 people. Still it was a much bigger success than the previous Gotham Bowl game when Oregon State played no one in front of zero people because organizers couldn't line up an opponent. Apparently fear of the Joker was keeping people away and the game was never held again.
10. Suzyn Waldman's On Air Clemensgasm, 2007
"Oh my goodness gracious!!!"
Sports Illustrated Doesn't Like Guess That Ass!
(The Ass That Launched A Thousand Ships)
Reader Email
Dear Mr. Portnoy:
(212) 467-0873 (fax)
Congratulations Sports Illustrated! You have joined the likes of Spunky Productions in the only two companies to threaten us with copyright infringement. Does this mean we hit the big time? I mean Judith from SI.com emailed me 10 minutes after we posted Maria Menounous as our Guess That Ass contestant. She must be a reader or something? Seriously though what is SI.com doing worrying about the Stool and who we feature on Guess That Ass? There has to be better things for them to do than have their army of lawyers send us cease and desist orders right? I wonder what happens if I ignore this request? Do I get murdered? Do I get sued? Judith can take the inlaw apartment in Abington, but she'll have to pry the Astrovan from my cold dead hands.
NY Daily News Tries to Ruin Papelbon's All Star Day
Papelbum wants nod to close over Mo
As if Jonathan Papelbon wasn't unpopular enough in New York. While the rest of the baseball world heaped praise on Mariano Rivera for his Hall of Fame career during Monday's All-Star media day, the Red Sox closer declared that he deserves to be the American League's ninth-inning man at Yankee Stadium Tuesday. "If I was managing the team, I would close," Papelbon said.
We've both earned that right; us, by winning the World Series and having the opportunity of having our manager there and our team being represented, and Mariano by what he's done for this role, we're in Yankee Stadium and blah, blah, blah," Papelbon said. "It's not that easy. Everybody thinks it's a cut and dry answer, but it's not."
After his 50-minute media session, Papelbon backtracked on his statements, telling the Boston Globe that he had had a change of heart after answering questions on the subject for the better part of an hour.
Far be it for me to criticize anything Jonathan Papelbon says or does, but I have a real problem with what he said here. To be specific, I have a problem with the part where he backtracked. Why, Paps, why? Why back off your original statement when everything you said was right on target? F- New York. F- the Yankees. F- Mariano Rivera and the New York media that's been clamoring to have him close, start the game, bat leadoff, sing the anthem and bang ARod's wife on home plate. What in God's name does Terry Francona owe these worthless nitwits anyway? Isn't this the same press corps that's been ripping him for years and calling the Sox classless every time there's bad blood between the two clubs? And who cost Pedro an MVP he deserved? Isn't this the same fan base that boos every Sox player from Papi to Johnny Pesky? And the same Yankee organization that when Joe Torre used to get to manage the All Star game (it was a long time I ago I know, but try to remember back that far) used to put 15 of his own players on the roster? And now they're demanding Tito worship at the altar of Rivera the way they do? They're like a kid you grew up with who treated you like crap your whole life and as soon as you hit it big he calls you looking for favors. A frenemy.
Papelbon's first comment is of course right. You want to manage the game, win the goddamned World Series. Unless you do, STFU. The Red Sox earned Terry Francona the right to do whatever the hell he wants. And if I was him, I'd bring Sandman in in the 6th, if at all.
Chase Utley Says "Fuck You" To New York
Amen Chase. Amen. It's just too bad that they cut away from him because I'm pretty sure he followed up the FU with the following
"Fuck You. I don't see any fucking Yankees participating in the HR derby. What are they a bunch of pussies? Where is Arod? If this was the last season at Fenway and the allstar game was there you'd have to cut off both David Ortiz's arms and legs for him not to compete. But I guess Arod could give a shit less about New York or their idiot fans. So keep booing me and Maria Menonous in the celebrity all star game you losers. You're just jealous Boston wins at everything. Fuck You New York"
Pretty sure those were the Mets fans in the crowd dipshit...why would the Yankee fans give two shits about Chase Utley, or the Phillies, and boo him?
Dipshit Dinka,
The crowd booed everyone who wasn't a Yankee. They did it in the Softball game too. It's the Yankee way. They fucking boo everyone at the All Star game. Dipshit.
Soog,
Yeah, they sure booed the hell out of Josh Hamilton. Good point made by you.
well, no, rsjem, why would they boo josh hamilton? he did well. isn't that what yankee "fans" do? cheer on who is currently doing well?
i'm also completely kidding, but jesus, they did boo everyone. maybe if you had watched it, you would have heard? just saying..
Can you believe the bullshit of that derby Hamilton manages to knock out 28 hrs in the first round and loses because he wore himself out, just another reason why all-star weekend is just bullshit...why not just give everyone 3 days off and flip a coin to see who gets home field in the series.
Can you believe the bullshit of that derby Hamilton manages to knock out 28 hrs in the first round and loses because he wore himself out, just another reason why all-star weekend is just bullshit...why not just give everyone 3 days off and flip a coin to see who gets home field in the series.
— patruck151
agreed.... i think all-star week has all the potential in the world, i mean i enjoy it to a point, but there are definitely things that need to be fixed, and the home run derby scoring system is one of them.
tajory,
I think you're being highly disingenuous. I did watch it, they did not boo everyone. You know it and I know it.
In fact, if you watch the video clip of Utley being booed, you can still hear the remnants of the cheers the crowd gave Dan Uggla, who was introduced before him.
Don't let reality get in the way of a good story, though.
They booed everything in a Boston or Philly hat. If the game was at Fenway, they would have booed any Yankees who participated. Don't act like that isn't true.
absolutely, if it was at fenway and a yankee was participating, i'm sure they would have been booed. besides that? i'm not sure. what makes me laugh though, is i guess one of your fellow yankee fans, and i want to reiterate i don't care who you root for, but one of your pals seems to think the opposite of you:
why would the Yankee fans give two shits about Chase Utley, or the Phillies, and boo him?
— DinkinFlicka
but yet, you say,
They booed everything in a Boston or Philly hat.
— rsjem23
so who do you guys like? hate? feel threatened by? i don't get it....
They booed everything in a Boston or Philly hat.
— rsjem23
so who do you guys like? hate? feel threatened by? i don't get it....
The people who boo Phillies are mets fans. Why is this so hard to understand?
NY Giants 17
NE Patriots 14
I seem to remember an all-star game at Fenway in '99 and it was an absolute love fest!! I can't recall one player being booed. Shit we're so nice in Boston, we gave Mariano Revera (sp) a stnding ovation on opening day 2005 :)
Chase Utley is my hero. And ESPN had the gall to interview David Wright during Chase's at bat. Fucking ESPN's logo should be "I LOVE NY"
Let's see ESPN's Erin Andrews interview MLB Allstar's in a Reef girls thong and Pink Red sox hat?
Who cares! Its the All-Star game...like I give a fuck about the All-Star game...
Erin Andrews had a very unsexy look going on last night. She looked like she belonged in Plymouth Plantation churning butter with that pilgrim outfit she was wearing. Is it too much to ask for a tight-fitting shirt that shows a ton of cleavage?
NY sucks as usual...why is anyone surprised?
I think you've missed the point of the post. Why didn't one swinging dick in a yankees uniform participate in the HR derby? Don Mattingly is the last true Yankee to wear the uniform.
I'm a Mets fan, my point was the boos for Utley were coming from Mets fans, that's all. Arod not participating in the HR Derby has nothing to do with Mets fans booing Utley (which was the typical stupid angle El Pres was taking).
tajory017, don't mix my comments with those of rsjem23
This morning it crossed my mind that another American chocked. First, Miss Universe takes a dive and then Josh Hamilton lets a Canadian win the Home Run Derby. WHat the fuck is going on here??
According to ESPN, Peyton Manning had his sac removed yesterday. Makes sense...
So Yankee stadium was filled with Mets fans? Wow the shit really has hit the fan for the Yankees. How embarrassing.
the best part of the derby was watching the guido's battle it out for every HR hit into the RF section.
One guy was so pumped I was convinced his head was going to explode.
can we get a goddamn wake-up girl...I've been at work for over and hour and I'm getting antsy....
Yo Prez watching the home run derby a buddy of mine say Chase Utley was miked during his intro and heard some boos from the crowd and said, "Boos? Fuck you!"
See if you can dredge up that video. I guarantee good BB material for that one.
— johnb1222, Jul 14 2008, 8:47 pm
Nice work last night johnb1222.
True story
The NY papers are bashing Francona and Papelbon today over the POSSIBILITY that Rivera may not close. Which is funny, since even the Globe printed a line yesterday by Paps saying he would let Mo close. All that mystique and aura must be choking the brain cells down there in the Bronx.
I'm a Phillies fan, so Chase can do no wrong by me. But can we all agree on one thing -- that Chris Berman is the biggest blowhard asshole in all of sports television? His phony excitement over EVERY homerun, his tired references to nearby towns where the ball could have been hit to. He ruins everything. Hey, Chris! How about a big bowl of STFU!
Can we get some love for exactly what happened last night? Josh "The Dream" Hamilton put every single fan and every other player there on his back and carried them out of the steroids era. This guy is an amazing story and deserves some recognition here. That is all.
Hey, you whining punk, New York is and will always be superior to Boston in any and all ways. What's Boston known for? Oh yeah, chowder and being the most racist city in the Northeast. By the way, tell Papelbon that before opens his stupid yap about Mariano Rivera, he should look at the stats. Just shows who has class and who doesn't!! Having said all that, I've visited Boston and loved it....people are okay there!!
I'm also a Phillies fan. Three things: (1) I have no doubt that had the derby been in Philly and a Met were in it, the booing would have been louder and more obnoxious than ever (2) Chase's response was priceless and (3) there will be numerous "Boo? Phuck You" Utley t-shirts roaming around Shea next week when the Phillies come to town.
the best part of the derby was watching the guido's battle it out for every HR hit into the RF section.
One guy was so pumped I was convinced his head was going to explode.
— j44thor, Jul 15 2008, 9:27 am
YES!!
Also, here's hoping Tito and co. make short work of the NL tonight. It'll make late October that much less stressful (if there was any doubt left at all).
Hey 26, thanks for making our point. Douchebag
laphroig....jealousy is an ugly emotion....see me when you win 23 more championships!!!! Fool. I'd expect nothing less from a citizen of a 2nd class city. To even compare yourself to New York is foolhardy. I am not dumb enough to write crap about the Celtics...because I know they are the cream....it's called an education....you should look into acquiring one!
laphroig...you did not need to make it personal. Did I call you any derogatory names? That is exactly Boston's problem....you have a 2nd class mentality and all you can do is respond with Douchebag....wow....classy....how long did it take to come up with that?
not 23 more like 19
you dont even know the stats
Did I call you any derogatory names?
26, in your previous post you called him a fool. It had only been 5 mintues. What a hypocrite.
what a potty mouth
To be fair, 26 - 7 is a pretty tough math problem. Give the guy a break.
Fool was not derogatory...merely a statement of fact. I wasn't sure, but he removed all doubt.
so was calling you a douchebag. get the fuck out of here and go check out a yankees blog.
And I suppose "whining punk" was merely a term of affection? Crawl back into that cloaca your mom spewed you from.
That was for the moderator....when he says fu to New York like that would clearly irk an New Yorker. Like it or not, it IS a great city!
Ohhhh, mother jokes....now that's progress. You are such a low brow....now go get me some fries.
You can't do simple math, and you're asking me to get you fries? Go pollute some other blog.
yea play the racist card, you fuckin' pussy. NYC smells like your mom's box. YANKEES SUCK.
easy randy marsh. easy cowboy
Fuck New York. After 9/11 I popped a cork.
TOUGH NIGHT TO BE AN ATHEIST I HEAR
"Your just jealous because boston, the armpit of america, wins everything" ??????????????? 18-1 G-men loss, ouch
Once again....I need not say anything to prove my point that Boston is way behind New York. Any filthy scum that would bring up 9/11 because of baseball....well, class is a very difficult thing to hide. That is unless you have none to begin with. And hey, I did not make it up....racism is a perception of your city, no? Where could anything like that have come from? It couldn't be because it is steeped in thruth, could it? New York has a myriad of it's own issues. The amin difference is we don't need to put other cities down to validate ourselves. It's true, you can actually look it up!!!
NY: accepts gifts from the french, builds tall buildings to overcompensate, tears down historic stadiums out of greed
BOS: rebel against the brits, innovative (Big Dig was a pretty Big Calamity, but the concept was revolutionary and will be done in a lot of cities in the future), works hard to preserve historic stadiums and remodel them as necessary
take your 26 rings, most of which were won when pitchers three about as hard as Counsill was last night, sell them, and use them to buy A- Rod a half decent looking hooker
Like I said...NY has its issues. But I object to the personal assaults in here. Last I checked we are part of the same country. I cannot see why sports is soooo important that people feel the need to attack personally. I mean, a Boston fan beat a New Yorker with a bat (because he had NY plates on his car) on the premise he could have been a Yankee fan. What is that?
And I agree, A-Rod is not the type of player I would align myself with. I root for the team....not all the players!
Iuap76 stop take a second and re-write what you just wrote.
I don't think tall buildings are necessarily over compensation. When you have millions of people on a smallish island....up is the only option.
I give you props on the revolution, tea party, etc. But don't evoke that as why Boston is great.....and then say NY's titles were won way in the past...kinda hypocritical...no?
NYsportsfan.....well said.
laphroig23.....why so angry? Bit of a Napoleon complex?
DinkinFlicka, get a life you pickle.
26, the tall building comment was a cheap jab, i admit. NYC is obviously as popular as it is for a reason, although personally i hate the congestion. and with the exception of the Giants, NYs titles were all won way in the past. Giants fans have the edge over Pats fans and Sox over Yankees. it is a 'what have you done for me lately' type of deal. personally, i think the only things that matter are the most recent past (i.e., the last title) or the near future (i.e., the next title). what the Yankees did in the 60s and 90s are irrelevant now, just as what the Celtics did in the 50s and 80s is. because if you want to use arguments like that, then Russia could still brag about how great its Soviet Olympic teams were.
"I mean, a Boston fan beat a New Yorker with a bat (because he had NY plates on his car) on the premise he could have been a Yankee fan. What is that?"
Oh I dont know. What is with that New York fan running over a Boston fan with her car a couple weeks ago? There are fucking wack jobs out there, that's what that is.
luap76, is is indeed a what have you done for me lately thing. I rooted for the Yankees in the late 60's and early 70's (Horace Clark era). They couldn't draw flies back then. Anyone can jump on a band wagon...and many do. Like I said it's the uniform we root for, not the specific players. And it's all cyclical....we'll be back (if our young pitchers pan out). But with both teams investing in the farm systems....it should be fun for a long time to come.
I appreciate the good natured razzing....as an fyi, the most valuable commodity in Boston is named Theo! Not Papi, Manny or even Papelbon (who really shoulda shut up).
tiffsox82....agreed, there are jerks are all around.
NY sucks as usual...why is anyone surprised?
— Pokey Reese, Jul 15 2008, 9:03 am
Thank you Pokey, thank you...
gotta love Chase Utley said pretty much how everybody outside NY feels,and really 26 can you come up with something a little more ORIGINAL..........
Boston wins at everything? Really?
What about this past superbowl ya know the one the Giants won and beat the 18-0 Patriots?
OHHH yea forgot about that one.
you guys are so fuckin gay
I'm a Mets fan, my point was the boos for Utley were coming from Mets fans, that's all. Arod not participating in the HR Derby has nothing to do with Mets fans booing Utley (which was the typical stupid angle El Pres was taking).
tajory017, don't mix my comments with those of rsjem23
— DinkinFlicka, Jul 15 2008, 9:09 am
i apologize.
They booed everything in a Boston or Philly hat.
— rsjem23
so who do you guys like? hate? feel threatened by? i don't get it....
The people who boo Phillies are mets fans. Why is this so hard to understand?
— Eli NY 10, Jul 15 2008, 7:35 am
i guess it's not that hard to understand. and when football season comes, and your beloved eli has won about 7 games all season, maybe you won't find it hard to understand that your team blows.
Fuck New York. After 9/11 I popped a cork.
— One More for Four, Jul 15 2008, 11:09 am
that was absolutely the worst thing i've ever read, and if you think that insults only new york fans, because 9/11 definitely had to do with sports! (sarcasm), you're fucking stupid. grow up.
TheOriginalMrBill....
Here's the thing....everything comes through NY....finance, advertising, news, etc....it may not be original, but it's the truth....sorry if you don't feel it is fresh enough...mr. bill....oh wait, that's clearly original...it was never a snl bit!!! hypocrit!!!
yeah i know, its about as original as 26 titles...but keep working on it.
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laughed my ass off at that. he couldnt give to shits.