Random Thoughts
Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day (Courtney)
Introducing Courtney from Andover. I saw Courtney at Waterworks (excuse me the upscale Marina Bay Beach Club, cough cough) a couple years ago and she was just about the hottest chick I've ever seen in my life. It took me long enough to find her and make her our Smokeshow of the Day huh?
Are you a hot chick who I spotted a couple years ago and forgot about? If you are send in your smokeshow photos ASAP. It's your duty! Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com
Whoever Let Brooke Hogan Dress Like This In Public Needs To Be Executed
Poor Brooke Hogan. See this is what happens when your kid brother cripples a kid in a car accident, your parents get a divorce, your dad rubs lotion on your ass and your mom starts dating a 15 year old that looks like everybody in your family. You end up wearing outfits like this in public and making me want to puke. Seriously whoever told Brooke it was okay to wear this deserves to be executed.
Patriots Rookies are Smarter Than Everybody Elses
From Christopher Gaspar:
Patriots draft picks linebacker Jerod Mayo, cornerback Terrence Wheatley, linebacker Shawn Crable, quarterback Kevin O'Connell, cornerback Jonathan Wilhite, kick returner Matthew Slater and linebacker Bo Ruud combined to win the "Ultimate Rookie Challenge" trivia contest at the NFL Rookie Symposium, which was held earlier this month in Carlsbad, Calif.
Players were asked a series of 32 questions about topics ranging from their NFL benefits packages to material from some of the educational seminars on finance and life skills that were held during the three-and-a-half day symposium, as well as some basic NFL trivia. Individual scores were combined to come up with the top team score, and the seven Pats rookies fared the best.
Each Patriots rookie was awarded a 32-inch Samsung flat screen TV for the New England newbies' collective victory. O'Connell, the team's second of two third-round picks, finished fourth among all 252 draftees in attendance and received an iPod as well.
It's like I've been saying for years: Every GM in the NFL preaches that they look for smart players, but Belichick and Pioli back it up. I mean, they want intelligent players who are also strong, fast and would pull their grandmother's windpipe out through her mouth to win a championship. As much of premium as they put on intelligence, they're not going to draft Christopher Mintz-Plasse or Kati Cawley. But I wouldn't be surprised to find out Ruud works on the Finobacci Sequence between plays. Or Mayo likes to sit around after practice discussing Cartesian Dualism. I'll bet Slater likes to calculate Pi while he's breaking down opponent's Special Teams tapes. And I wouldn't be the least bit shocked to hear that O'Connell carries a copy of "Ulysses" inside his playbook for a bit of light reading once he's mastered the offense. Training camp can't start fast enough.
Worst Game Show Contestant Showdown...Price Is Right Lady Vs. Wheel of Fortune Lady
Vs.
As big of an idiot as that lady is in the Price is Right clip is, the bottom line is that she still somehow managed to pull out a victory. And in America winning championships is still all that matters. Unfortunatly the same can't be said for the Wheel of Fortune dumbass. The look on Pat Sajak's face says it all. It just doesn't get any worse than that.
Vote 1 for Price is Right and 10 for Wheel of Fortune
Harwich Man Arrested For Trying To Rob Convenience Store With A Fake Grenade
HARWICH, Mass. -- Bail has been set at $200,000 cash for a Harwich man accused of trying to rob a convenience store armed with a grenade that turned out to be fake. Police say a masked Dennis Walsh walked into the store Sunday night holding the grenade and demanded money from the cash register while threatening to pull the pin. Police say Walsh fumbled with the pin, then got scared by a store employee and tried to escape. Three witnesses chased and grabbed him. Walsh is charged with armed robbery while masked, assault to rob while armed and assault with a dangerous weapon. He pleaded not guilty at his arraignment Monday in Orleans District Court.
If it weren’t for the fact this guy was wearing a Pats sweatshirt I’d say he was dumbest criminal of all time. I mean what kind of idiot uses a fake grenade to rob a convenience store? What happened to guns? Is that too simple? Obviously the clerk knows you’re bullshitting with a grenade. I mean what are you going to do, blow yourself up to get the money? That would defeat the whole purpose or robbing the store in first place. After all everybody knows that you can’t buy shit when you’re dead. At least that's what my sources tell me.
Caption Contest
"Greta can you please promise me that you'll wait to masturbate until the interview is over"
Umbrellas Attack People on Beach
"Dude!"
Well it's official. I will regret not being on this beach watching umbrellas attack people for the rest of my life. I'm so jealous. This was a once and a lifetime opportunity. Shame on me for not being there. I live for this type of shit.
South Carolina is So Gay
MSNBC.com - A state employee has resigned and officials have disavowed an international advertising campaign that led to calls for an investigation of tourism posters proclaiming “South Carolina is so gay.” The campaign, which plastered the London subway with posters advertising the charms of South Carolina and five major U.S. cities to gay European tourists, landed with a resounding thud in South Carolina, where the issue of gay rights has long been a political flashpoint. Similar ads were posted for Atlanta, Boston, Las Vegas, New Orleans and Washington, D.C., none of which reported any negative backlash. But in South Carolina, reaction to the posters was swift. Republican state Sen. David Thomas of Greenville protested the campaign and called for an audit of the advertising budget overseen by the state Department of Parks, Recreation and Tourism. “South Carolinians will be irate when they learn their hard earned tax dollars are being spent to advertise our state as ‘so gay,’” Thomas said in a statement.
Listen I’d be pissed if I was from South Carolina too. I mean what kind of half assed gay advertising campaign is this? The Civil War and golf? You really think this is going to bring the London Gays to the Palmetto State? Talk about throwing money out the window. Because everybody knows the London Gays are into World Championships, The South End and Seafood. In other words just like with everything else Boston wins.
Worst Moments in Yankee Stadium History
For reasons unclear to me, this year the Major League All-Star Game, which used to be a nice, little mid-season diversion and a chance to showcase the game's best players, has been replaced with a big, fawning, obsequious celebration of all things Yankee. It's a Bronxapalooza. Every media outlet in the country is joining in on the unctuous toadying to the point there's nowhere you can hide from the everyone's list of The Great Moments in Yankee Stadium history. Babe Ruth. Gehrig. Mr. October. College football. Boxing. Concerts. Popes. Giambi's porn 'stache. Everywhere they're joining in on the groveling at the steps of the House That Ruth Built as they await the opening of The House That the New York Government's Woefully Misplaced Priorities Built. Everywhere, that is, except here. So without further ado we give you;
The Worst Moments in Yankee Stadium History:
11. Gotham Bowl
The 1962 game featured Nebraska against Miami and was played in front of only 6,100 people. Still it was a much bigger success than the previous Gotham Bowl game when Oregon State played no one in front of zero people because organizers couldn't line up an opponent. Apparently fear of the Joker was keeping people away and the game was never held again.
10. Suzyn Waldman's On Air Clemensgasm, 2007
"Oh my goodness gracious!!!"
Sports Illustrated Doesn't Like Guess That Ass!
(The Ass That Launched A Thousand Ships)
Reader Email
Dear Mr. Portnoy:
(212) 467-0873 (fax)
Congratulations Sports Illustrated! You have joined the likes of Spunky Productions in the only two companies to threaten us with copyright infringement. Does this mean we hit the big time? I mean Judith from SI.com emailed me 10 minutes after we posted Maria Menounous as our Guess That Ass contestant. She must be a reader or something? Seriously though what is SI.com doing worrying about the Stool and who we feature on Guess That Ass? There has to be better things for them to do than have their army of lawyers send us cease and desist orders right? I wonder what happens if I ignore this request? Do I get murdered? Do I get sued? Judith can take the inlaw apartment in Abington, but she'll have to pry the Astrovan from my cold dead hands.
NY Daily News Tries to Ruin Papelbon's All Star Day
Papelbum wants nod to close over Mo
As if Jonathan Papelbon wasn't unpopular enough in New York. While the rest of the baseball world heaped praise on Mariano Rivera for his Hall of Fame career during Monday's All-Star media day, the Red Sox closer declared that he deserves to be the American League's ninth-inning man at Yankee Stadium Tuesday. "If I was managing the team, I would close," Papelbon said.
We've both earned that right; us, by winning the World Series and having the opportunity of having our manager there and our team being represented, and Mariano by what he's done for this role, we're in Yankee Stadium and blah, blah, blah," Papelbon said. "It's not that easy. Everybody thinks it's a cut and dry answer, but it's not."
After his 50-minute media session, Papelbon backtracked on his statements, telling the Boston Globe that he had had a change of heart after answering questions on the subject for the better part of an hour.
Far be it for me to criticize anything Jonathan Papelbon says or does, but I have a real problem with what he said here. To be specific, I have a problem with the part where he backtracked. Why, Paps, why? Why back off your original statement when everything you said was right on target? F- New York. F- the Yankees. F- Mariano Rivera and the New York media that's been clamoring to have him close, start the game, bat leadoff, sing the anthem and bang ARod's wife on home plate. What in God's name does Terry Francona owe these worthless nitwits anyway? Isn't this the same press corps that's been ripping him for years and calling the Sox classless every time there's bad blood between the two clubs? And who cost Pedro an MVP he deserved? Isn't this the same fan base that boos every Sox player from Papi to Johnny Pesky? And the same Yankee organization that when Joe Torre used to get to manage the All Star game (it was a long time I ago I know, but try to remember back that far) used to put 15 of his own players on the roster? And now they're demanding Tito worship at the altar of Rivera the way they do? They're like a kid you grew up with who treated you like crap your whole life and as soon as you hit it big he calls you looking for favors. A frenemy.
Papelbon's first comment is of course right. You want to manage the game, win the goddamned World Series. Unless you do, STFU. The Red Sox earned Terry Francona the right to do whatever the hell he wants. And if I was him, I'd bring Sandman in in the 6th, if at all.
Paps is great but he's approaching Schill status with all the talking he's doing lately.
totally unrelated, how about peyton manning having knee surgery and being out 4-6 weeks. I guess he's just getting a head start on planning his excuses for this season
Paps should pitch the seventh, then steal the mike when Ronan Tynan starts up his endless shitbag rendition of 'God Bless America', beat the hell out of him with it and do a little jig on his unconscious body.
Love Paps, but Rivera is probably the only ballplayer on that team worth any respect at all.
Paps looks like Joba with the mouth open fist pumping don't he?
Fuck that ignorant hillbilly by the way. Everytime Papsmear opens his mouth the world gets a little dumber. Dude is just stone cold stupid.
I fucking hope our closer wants the ball in that situation.
Paps should close the game. I don't recall Paps blowing back-to-back save opportunities in the playoffs. They won the WS and they have the best record in the division.
" Frenemy" Hahaha classic
the part of me that wants the Red Sox to win games likes having Paplebon as a closer.
The part of me that reads the paper and watches highlights hates paplebon and his fucking idiotic fist pumping bullshit.
Act like you've been there before.
All i can think of is at the '04 ring ceremony when Rivera got a standing O at Fenway. That is, perhaps, the best thing I've ever seen.
You can't blame Papelbon for the fist pumping stuff. It's obviously Tiger's fault. I mean, if a fucking golfer can get that excited over a putt, then it's okay for a pitcher to do it over a save.
Plus, every time he does that, it's like he's pulling the slot lever and winning for 11-14 fantasy points for me.
Paps is the most overrated player in Boston sports. If he didnt pump his fist after every meaningless strike out or dance jigs in his panties after a playoff win he would be just another closer. Look at his stats, they are pretty ordinary. He isnt even in the same hemisphere with Rivera when it comes to closing. If you dont think Rivera shouldnt close the game because he the best ever playing in his home stadium then he should be closing because he has been the best closer this year as well. K-Rod should be the closer before Paps is.
It's funny to see Sox fans pick on Joba for doing the same fucking thing Papelbonehead does.
You have to give the ball in the 9th to Rivera. Its called respecting the game and the players who have shown themselves to be truly phenomenal at what they do. And right now Rivera is that person. Papelbon is great and if he stays healthy could very well pass Rivera. But right now, Rivera is the 'Godfather; and he should absolutely be the guy you call out of the bullpen in the 9th. Sometimes the game and the achievements trump rooting for your team.
papelbon is a great closer and i am glad he is on the team i root for but man does he seem like a douche.
some of you people need to seperate baseball from your lives. When you get to the point that it sounds like your talking about a family member you need some gosh darn perspective on things.
Act like you've been there before.
He has been there before, Allstar, WS, etc. He has earned the right to do whatever he wants. Fist pump or not.
Hate Joba for doing that shit, he hasn't proved anything except that he smells like shit and attracts flies, midges, whatever.
People who complain about fist pumping, celebrations or anything of that nature are all faggoty douchey old men.
tuka (or anyone else for that matter),
If you don't respect jeter and what he brings to the game every night he's on the field then you are not a true baseball fan. I hate the hell out of that panzie, but god damn do i respect him.
The selection should be based on who is having the better year - and in that case the selection is Rivera. His ERA is a full run better - lower BAA, lower Whip, fewer blown saves.
...If you dont think Rivera shouldnt close the game because he the best ever playing in his home stadium then he should be closing because he has been the best closer this year as well...
— ashaway12, Jul 15 2008, 10:41 am
Well said.
Let me preface this my saying that I am a big Sox fan. I was at the games in St. Louis and Colorado when they won. Rivera has been lights out as a closer this season and should get the save opportunity over Paps should that situation occur.
Furthermore, how sweet would it be to have the Sox win the WS in a game 7 save situation? Thanks Mariano for giving us homefield advantage. We'll put your ring in the mail.
...If you dont think Rivera shouldnt close the game because he the best ever playing in his home stadium then he should be closing because he has been the best closer this year as well...
— ashaway12, Jul 15 2008, 10:41 am
Well said.
— BA BARRACUS, Jul 15 2008, 10:46 am
laughing my balls off
Tuka....like him or not, Jeter is a classy guy as well.
Are there any videos of the police tackling and manhandling the guys who ran onto the blocked off area of the stadium to get a home run ball or the morons in the stands?
I am shocked no one from the upper deck fell to their death the way people were jumping and pushing each other. Plus the stands are on a 45 degree angle.
I'm disappointed that Erin Andrews wasn't wearing that yellow dress again. That would've made my night.
And Posada typically does the right thing.
"Paps is the most overrated player in Boston sports... Look at his stats, they are pretty ordinary"
— ashaway12, Jul 15 2008, 10:41 am
this page shows his stats and how they compare to league averages. It also shows that you are a fucking douche. http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/7614
However, you gotta give the ball to the Sandman in the 9th in Yankee Stadium.
What if its a tie situation in the bottom of the 9th? Bring in Rivera to preserve the tie or Papelbon?
"this page shows his stats and how they compare to league averages. It also shows that you are a fucking douche. http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/7614"
-Big Windy
Why dont you go lick his balls Big Windy, I bet you jerk off while looking at his stats dont you. All I was saying his that his stats aren't nearly as good as Mo's or even K-Rods...Its not even close.
Can someone get a mute button for Pap smear?
way i see it, rivera did not blow the game to some rook with <20 ABs because he refused to throw a split finger, and thus cost his team a chance to take 3 of 4. love paps, but he needs to check his ego a bit. especially with the way he has been pitching as of late.
I'm a Sox fan and I say give the ball to Rivera.
The only reason this is a story is because Paps is the Sox closer. K-Rod could have said the same thing and it would be no big deal. Who the fuck cares that he said he would like to close? You want him to be like, "Oh no, I would really hate to close the All-Star game"? It's just the media hyping up some non story....big surprise right?
Palpabon is a class act, just like the rest of the boston sports fans. Mo has been doing this for years, have a little respect. Nah instead the cocky bullshit, that since 2004 has made boston unbearable. Thank god for the G-men, humbled you assholes for a little while.
Okay, okay, Jeter and Posada are alright too I guess. Neither is an all time great though, which is the point I was trying to make. I guess it's a good way to find Sox fans who actually love the game, ask them their opinion on Rivera and to a lesser extent Herps (Jeter). I could watch Rivera mow down people in the ninth all day.
It's funny to see Sox fans pick on Joba for doing the same fucking thing Papelbonehead does.
— TheViking, Jul 15 2008, 10:41 am
Wrong. Paps does it when he closes an important game and secures the W for the team. Joba does it (well used to do it) when he pitched the 7th or 8th inning regardless of the score - and therefore got criticized for it.
ashaway shut the fuck up already you fucking faggot.papelbon, overated? how u figure. like windy said, sandman should get the nod because its yankee stadium. but other than that, krod? gimme a break, haha ur fucking stupid
Why dont you go lick his balls Big Windy, I bet you jerk off while looking at his stats dont you. All I was saying his that his stats aren't nearly as good as Mo's or even K-Rods...Its not even close.
— ashaway12, Jul 15 2008, 10:59 am
If that is all you were saying then why did you say his stats were very ordinary? Douchetard.
but other than that, krod? gimme a break, haha ur fucking stupid
— boston3, Jul 15 2008, 11:19 am
your right, 38 saves at the all-star break is deffinitly a joke...
And as for this article, i really have not heard one legitimate reason paps would close this game
Is elpres deleting Chav comments? If so thats hilarious
paps is an idiot. last i checked mariano is the best closer in the game. lower ERA, lower WHIP and ZERO blown saves. sorry papelbon. you're good, but you ain't mariano good.
I fucking hope our closer wants the ball in that situation.
— txsoxfan
The Texan nailed it in like the 3rd post, you tards. He's a closer, and a pretty fucking good one. Of course he wants the ball. It's not his job to balance all the Yankee Stadium, Mo Rivera bullshit, it's just his job to want the ball and then produce when called for.
So shut up.
1st & foremost I'm addicted to this site.
2nd Mo & Paps shouldn't even be mentioned in the same breath, Mo's been doing his thing for 13 seasons, Paps for 3. Mo has 4 rings, Paps has 1. If you don't think Mo deserves the ball over Paps your just plain stupid, especially at the Stadium. I starting to think the pink dye in all your hats is starting to run into your brains. Put the rivalry aside and look at the stats, don't forget to look at the playoffs to, case closed. It's like comparing Kobe to Mike, you just don't.
Ex-world champions is right...
I hope any closer, whether its Paps, Mo, or K-Rod, would want the ball in that situation. When you're pitching for home-field advantage in the World Series, you oughta rise to the calling. The problem is not a who's better conflict; I think Mo has earned that right with his history (and I'm a Sox fan). The problem is the idea that this game, a celebration of first-half stars and "a game for the fans", has been amped up 10 notches with home-field implications. While I truly dislike everything about New York (hate is a strong word), Mo should get the nod because he's had a more illustrious career at this point and Yankee Stadium is seeing its last days.
And now Paps back tracks on his statement? What a hose job. I say if you're going to put yourself out there, at least have the balls to stay out there. I didn't agree with Paps, but I definitely respected his right to say it. Now he says the 9th belongs to Mo.....makes Paps look like a freakin' back peddling weenie!!
Streetmeat, Nobody is deleting my fucking comments, you moron.
pap smear should shut his man-pleaser.
rivera hasn't blown a save all season and has a 1.06 ERA.
pap smear has looked like crap all season. wow, what a jack ass this guy is.
Papel-boner is a big pussy. Fuck that guy. He can't hold Rivera's jock. What a pole smoker!
i think most people, sox or yankees fan, would agree that rivera should get the ball (which now we know he did) in the 9th. but to say that papelbon sucks, isn't as good as rivera, etc. etc... well no, but he's also quite young. will he be as good as rivera? who knows, but you can't discredit him because he hasn't played as many years.
anyway, here's to hoping that regardless who pitches the last inning, the AL wins so when we go to the world series, we get home field advantage.
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Chase Utley Says "Fuck You" To New York
Amen Chase. Amen. It's just too bad that they cut away from him because I'm pretty sure he followed up the FU with the following
"Fuck You. I don't see any fucking Yankees participating in the HR derby. What are they a bunch of pussies? Where is Arod? If this was the last season at Fenway and the allstar game was there you'd have to cut off both David Ortiz's arms and legs for him not to compete. But I guess Arod could give a shit less about New York or their idiot fans. So keep booing me and Maria Menonous in the celebrity all star game you losers. You're just jealous Boston wins at everything. Fuck You New York"
I agree JT. Use this year as pay back for all those years biased Torre wrongfully stacked the AL roster with Mike Stanton and Jeff Nelson for 4 straight years.