Random Thoughts

Maybe Lester can play QB?

Packers -2.5, Raiders +3.

You can thank me in the morning.

Lansing, Mich.- He might be an adult now, but this alleged victim was just 15 years old when he says he was having sex three to four days a week with his 32-year-old school counselor, Carrie Denbow. "She picked me up in her Sebring and we got in the back, took off all our clothes and had sex," says the victim..."Did you ever have sex in her office?" asks prosecutor Guy Sweet. "Yes," answers the alleged victim. Another witness, 19-year-old Caitlin Tropp, said Denbow performed sex acts on the victim in front of her and her boyfriend.

"You're telling me you can't remember when you first slept with your teacher?" [Denbow's defense attorney Frank] Reynolds asked. "We were doing it so much..." the victim responded. The accuser says Denbow slapped him after finding out he got another girl pregnant. "She walked by me and said 'Oh, it's like that? It's gonna be like that?'"

You'd think with schools having been on summer vacation for the last 2 1/2 months that this would be a slow season for depraved teacher stories. But like the British Empire, the sun never sets on America's female classroom predators. And you have to give credit to Ms. Denbow for taking her game to the next level. This wasn't your garden variety, "I lost my head. What was I thinking?" one time slip up. This was a full-frontal seduction. I mean, "We were doing it so much?" I'd say your average guy remembers every detail about his... what? first dozen or so encounters? This kid was getting so much of Carrie it all runs together. And Caitlin bragged about witnessing his prowess right there in open court? The kid must've felt prouder than any Lansing High valedectorian ever did on graduation day. You've got that kind of sexual history at such a young age, you have to prove it to the world by knocking up another student. You've got no choice.

The Grades:
Looks: Not terrible, but if we were filling the role of Sexy Teacher in a cable movie, we wouldn't cast her. Carries looks are less of a seductress and more towards saying "You want bacon or sausage with those waffles, hon?" Grade: C-.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgement: Putting on a live sex show for Caitlin and her boyfriend is the stuff of Sex Scandal Teacher greatness. Grade: A+.
Intangibles: The prosecutor's name is Guy Sweet? How many times did the >ahem< "victim's" buddies listen to his stories and say "Guy! Sweeeet!" Grade: A.
Overall: B. If only she was better looking.

As of this morning the NY Post is officially dead to me. What I've often called the World's Greatest Newspaper is celebrating Tom Brady's injury on the back page with "YAHOO! BRADY OUT FOR YEAR." The Post is nothing to me now. I don't want to see it at the hotels, I don't want it near my house. When it comes to see my mother I want to know a day in advance so I won't be there. Unless the Post apologizes or puts me on the front page I'll never reference it or link to it again.

But this also raises another issue. Is it OK to root for a star on another team to get injured? I mean, I'm not expecting every Jets fan to be wearing black or sports publications in NY to declare a day of mourning because their arch nemesis will miss the season, but is "Yahoo!" really called for? Isn't celebrating a guy's injury just an admission that you've been his cell bitch all these years and there was no way you'd ever be able to beat him legit? Doesn't it just make you look like... well, like "Yahoos"?

You can search this blog from stem to stern and you won't find one example of me rooting for someone to get hurt (except for my daily prayer that Roger Clemens develops Job-like painful boils). I detest LaDanlian "I'm a Classy Person" Tomlinson, but I'd rather see the Pats beat him on the field than watch him sit on the sidelines with the Darth Vader helmet on. I loathe Peyton "The Endorser" Manning, but I'd rather see him making the sourpuss face after throwing another pick than to be standing on the sidelines in a hat.

But all that will change if this is how the rest of the fans in the league react to Brady's injury. I don't need anyone's sympathy, but if they're going to be dancing in the streets and tossing candy to children over it, I'm getting a Brett Favre voodoo doll and going to work on it.

Vote "1" for "It's perfectly acceptable", and "10" for "Rooting for injuries is an admission that you're all a bunch of sandy vaginas who can't win straight up."

Just about a week and a half ago I wrote a blog basically admitting that I was wrong about the Tampa Bay Devil Rays being frauds and said the Red Sox wouldn’t win the division by 5 games like I previously guaranteed they would.   At the time I wrote this the Devil Dogs had won 23 out of their last 30 games and were sailing along in first place.   Well since my mea culpa the Drays have dropped 5 out of their last six games and their lead has been trimmed to a measly 1.5 games as they prepare to come to Fenway.   So in other words did the Pres do it again or did the Pres do it again?   I mean nobody honestly believed that I thought the Devil Rays were for real did they?   I just had to do my part to help end that ridiculous streak they were on by jinxing the hell out of them.   Bottom line is that you can say whatever you want about me, but I’m very skilled in the black arts.    Now it looks like I was right all along.  The Devil Rays suck and the Red Sox will win the division by five games.  I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so.

PS - I totally would have gotten that TB tattoo too. I was just trying to make that last blog look authentic. Thankfully it looks like I won't have to worry about it now though.

Yikes. This must have been David Kraft who signed off on this one. Seriously who wants to see this garbage hanging at Gillette? This may be the worst decision the Krafts have made since they've owned the franchise. The only explanation is that they are so used to hanging championship banners over there in Foxboro that it was just force of habit. Because trust me when I say our 16-0 regular season is nothing to be proud of. If the Krafts won't take this down than some borderline insane Pat's fan needs to break in and burn the shit out of that thing. No need to make people puke every time they go to a Pats game.

"Last season at Yankee Stadium...Good Seats Still Available"

- Thanks to Eric for the pic

Click here for the answer

In light of Tom Brady's knee injury we had to put the Pedroia shirts on sale ASAP so people could buy themselves shit and feel better about life. I couldn't decide which ones to go with so we got two options. Personally I think they're all awesome. Now go buy the shit out of them.... And the Pedroia Mouse one is also available in baby blue.

The world is a fucked up place huh? Seriously what are the odds that on the same day that Britney finally got her swagger back Tom Brady would also blow out his knee and be gone for the season? It just doesn't make any sense. I mean I could barely beat off last night. God truly does work in mysterious ways.

Well to the delight of every single person not from the Massachusetts or Brazil, Tom Brady had his season cut short by a vicious cheap shot from Brandon Pollard yesterday.    Seriously you would have thought it was the Fourth of July with all the parties and fireworks that instantaneously broke out across the Nation when Brady went down.    I was almost embarrassed to call myself an American.   But I guess when you dominate a century like we have, people become desperate and will stoop to almost subhuman levels for the chance to knock you off.  If that means cheering for pain, suffering, Hitler and human carnage than so be it.  So what does Brady’s injury mean for God’s chosen people?    Well for starters it means that the NFL regular season just became interesting again.  No more 70-2 blowouts.  No more falling asleep after the first quarter.  Yup from now on we are going to be like every other NFL team in the league.  We’re actually going to have to fight and claw to win games.   Personally I think it will be fun because the old way was kind of getting boring.  Call me crazy but I actually missed the week to week grind of the NFL.   I missed getting excited about games and wondering whether we could win.   And for all these people who think we have no chance to win the Superbowl now I just laugh.    All this injury did was bring us back into the same stratosphere as all the other good teams in the league.   Because the bottom line is that last time I checked Bill Belichick was still our coach.  And need I remind you that this is the same man who beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh for the AFC championship with Drew Bledsoe at the helm?   This is the same man won the Superbowl with Jeff Hostetler as his QB? (Don’t give me any of that Parcells garbage either. That was Belichick’s team)  Listen if he can win with those guys he can surely figure out a way to win with Matt Cassel, Chris Simms, Tim Rattay or whoever else he brings in.   In fact I bet Belichick is sneaky relishing the opportunity toprove once again just how much smarter he is than the rest of the league. So yes it sucks that we don’t get a free pass to the Superbowl this year.   But come February I still fully expect to be hoisting the Lombardi Trophy for the 4^th time this century.  And if we do it will be the sweetest championship of them all. 

Regardless the pressure is now firmly on the Red Sox to win the World Series since the Pats are no longer a mortal lock.   Because a world in which the City of Boston has to go two straight seasons without a major World Championship is not a world I want to live in.

Things to consider while wondering what will be worse: the idea of facing life without Brady or the prospect of months of relentless, tedious, insufferable Tom Brady knee talk.

*Because you know it's coming. Brady's knee is the reason for the teardrops on my guitar. For the foreseeable future, it's also the only thing we're going to hear about. There'll be no escaping it. It'll be so bad even the Globe will start covering the Patriots. Because let's face it, the only way the Globe will give the Pats column space is if Brady gets hurt or knocks up Sarah Palin's other teenage daughter.

*For the record, the Pats players wearing listening devices in their helmets were: Brady and Matt Cassel (for the offense), Mike Vrable (for the defense) and Nick Kaczur (for the DEA).

Click here to read the rest of this hideous doom & gloom...

Anytime a former Real World star gets their own TV show it is worthy of a Wake Up. I always said Jaime was one of the most underrated Real World chicks of all time. And now she has her own show on ABC Family called Samurai Girl to prove it. Who knew she had it in her? Somewhere in the great big sea in the sky Frankie is on a boat smiling down from the heavens.

To see much more of Jaime click here...

Boston.com - An NFL source said Patriots coach Bill Belichick told his team that Brady's injury could be bad and to prepare for Matt Cassel to be the quarterback going forward, but the source could not confirm the diagnosis of a torn ACL. A separate league source said that Brady was resting at home last night and would undergo "further evaluation" - most likely an MRI - Monday, and the expectation is that it will confirm a serious knee injury.

Yahoo - Tom Brady is expected to miss the rest of the 2008 season with a torn anterior cruciate ligament in his left knee, according to a source familiar with the injury. While New England coach Bill Belichick said in his postgame press conference that he had no update on the status of Brady’s injury, two sources indicated it involved serious damage to the knee. “It’s bad,” a team source said. “We’re going to have to play without him.”

ESPN - Brady is scheduled for an MRI on Monday.Although no test results had yet to be revealed, one Patriots player went so far as to tell ESPN analyst Trent Dilfer after the game, "Cassel's our quarterback for the rest of the year."

CNNSI - Various reports Sunday night said Belichick told the players that the injury was serious. The Patriots were already looking for a possible replacement for Brady. A person familiar with the situation told The Associated Press that former Tampa Bay quarterback Chris Simms was coming in Monday for a physical.

What am I missing? No only am I not convinced Brady is definitely out for the rest of the season, but I'm not convinced anybody else knows whether he's out for the rest of the season. I keep reading everything I can get my hands on to find out where all this is coming from and for the most part it seems to be stemming from a speech Belichick gave telling everybody they needed to be prepared to play without him. What the hell does that mean? That could be two weeks or the entire year right? I feel like lots of people are jumping the gun without any proof or evidence of anything. Like I said in the last post I'm going to wait to hear from Belichick or Brady or at the very least a doctor until I write him off. Sorry if I don't trust a reporter who is apparently relaying how a player interpreted Belichick's speech. And we all know what to make of anonymous sources right?