Random Thoughts

All things considered this may have been the 2nd worst big game performance in the history of baseball. (The worst was Clemens vs. Pedro in Game 3 of the ALCS the first time they met) But this was pretty bad. Figures the Drays didn't even have enough class to put up a fight as we stormed into first place. They just rolled over like the dead dogs they are. Disgusting.

Introducing Jenna from Milford.  Congrats to Jenna because she just got 2 VIP tickets to our Smokeshow Blue Ball taking place Thursday October 9^th at Ned Devine’s.   Yup the party everybody has been asking about is finally in place.    All former Smokeshows get 2 VIP tickets which includes access to the VIP open bar for the entire night.   Does the Pres do it or does the Pres do it?   So if you’re a former smokeshow and I haven’t contacted you yet shoot me a line so I can put you on our list.    There is also the Smokeshow Blue Ball Group on Facebook for all our lovely smokeshows where you can sign up.

Oh and if you’re a regular person who wants to come to this party RSVP to smokeshow@barstoolsports.com.      You must print out the confirmation and bring it with you to get in.   

So for all those smokeshows we haven’t featured yet now is the time to submit yourself so you can get the VIP treatment at our Blue Ball.  Send nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com.  Goodnight and God Bless….

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Honestly you don't find many white Miami Beach Metrosexuals playing defensive back in the NFL. I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it with my own two eyes.

Thank god I went to King Richard's Faire on Saturday because if not I would have never known about the Hip Hop Pizza Party taking place on October 3rd in Halifax. Seriously if you're a single guy you don't want to miss this thing. Because if I've said it once I've said it a million times. What happens at the Halifax Elementary School All Purpose Room stays at the Halifax Elementary School All Purpose Room. I mean there are going to be a shitload of chicks at this thing eating pizza and getting low. Mix in a open soda bar and it's almost impossible not to get laid.

Shomertec - The "Brief Safe" is an innovative new diversion safe that can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you're traveling. Items can be hidden right under their noses with these specially-designed briefs which contain a fly-accessed 4" x 10" secret compartment with Velcro® closure and "special markings" on the lower rear portion. Leave the "Brief Safe" in plain view in your laundry basket or washing machine at home, or in your suitcase in a hotel room - even the most hardened burglar or most curious snoop will "skid" to a screeching halt as soon as they see them. (Wouldn't you?) Made in USA. One size. Color: white (and brown.) To add realistic smell, check out "Doo Drops".

I don’t like to use the term brilliant loosely, but this my friends is a brilliant invention.  I mean anybody can stick money in the dick pouch of their underwear.   But to add in the skid marks and doo drops is a touch of genius.   I bet a drug dealer or something invented this.  Because only somebody whose entire livelihood depended on secrecy could come up with something like this.    In fact I bet no pair of Brief Safes have ever been breached.   I mean even if a potential thief or DEA officer knew about the existence of the Brief Safe I’m still not sure they’d risk touching a pair of these bad boys.  I mean what if that shit turned out to be the real thing?    What if that smell wasn't the doo drops? It’s just not worth it.   Nothing is worth it.

(Click to watch first video)

It's so sad to see an American Icon like Jake the Snake Roberts sink to this level. I don't know why he even tried to wrestle. Just bring out Damian and throw it in the guys face and have it leave that white shit on him and everybody leaves happy. For shame.

The funny thing about this photo is that you know the only reason the asshole in the blue wanted to get his picture taken with these chicks at King Richard's Faire was to make fun of them. But then his fucking gut exploded through his tshirt and the joke was on him. Now this dude's fiancee is probably repulsed by him and making him work out or else she's going to divorce his ass. Looks like the joke was on him after all. Fucking loser. Serves him right!

Click Here For the Answer

(Pedroia Would Totally Hit It)

Inside Track - Quash those dating rumors about Red Sox [ team stats] cutie Jed Lowrie and Winchester’s own Olympic silver-medal-winning gymnast Alicia Sacramone. The Brown University co-ed contortionist, who appeared on “The Best Damn Sports Show Period” the other night, was asked about tossing out the first pitch at Fenway Park [map] earlier this month. Miss Sac told the group that Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia [ stats] urged her to come into the dugout so he could check out her medal and yap about the Beijing games. “He’s married, so he doesn’t count,” she said, adding quickly that Jed Lowrie did ask her to be “his special guest” at a game. “So are you going?” quizzed a co-host. “Well, I think I’m going next week,” the 20-year-old giggled. “I wish there was a juicy story, but it’s boring,” said Alicia’s marketing gal, Kelly Downing of Trinity One Marketing. “(Jed’s) agent called me and said Jed wanted to invite her to a game. He’s a fan and I guess he played on a USA baseball team, but never in the Olympics.” Kel said Alicia is going to Fenway as Lowrie’s guest this week, but she’s got a boyfriend - and her baseball admirer knows it. “It’s just a friendly thing,” she told the Track.

Listen this PR bitch can cut the shit with how there is nothing juicy to this story.   Professional baseball players don’t have their agents call up chicks and invite them to baseball games as guests unless they fully plan on fucking the shit out them.  I mean Jed might as well have just sent over his room key.    If I was Sacramone’s boyfriend I’d forbid her from going to this game.    Because if history is any indication, there is at least a 94% chance that they make out and a 79% that they end up making babies.    Those are just the standard hook up percentages when chicks sit in the players seats.   Combine this with the fact Sacramone was in the dugout the day before waving her Olympic ass in everybody’s face and it’s almost a mortal lock that they do the dirty, dirty.

PS - I don't want to be lame, but I think Jed and Alicia would make a good couple.

"I don't think there is one person in my face with this microphone that picked us to win," Moss said to a group of reporters.  "I'm going to end [my interview this way]: The New England Patriots [are] 2-0. We got one in the division, so all you haters keep hating. We're coming."

- Randy Moss

I know what everybody is thinking.  Hey El Pres and the rest of Boston, don’t you ever get tired of being right?   I mean you told the world that the Patriots would still be the team to beat despite losing Brady.  You said the Pats were the Mortal Lock of the century this week.   You said they’d use ball control, special teams, defense and coaching to demolish the Jets.    You were right, right, right, right and right again.   Doesn’t it ever get old shoving all the haters faces in the mud and spitting in their faces?   Well the answer is no.   As long as there are idiots in this world doubting us, Barstool Sports will shine like a beacon of light standing for truth and justice.    And the funny part is that people think we’re homers.  That we only say great things about the local teams.  Nothing could be further from the truth.   I mean you don’t hear me bragging about the Bruins do you?  The bottom-line is that in the 3 biggest sports in this country we have the 3 best teams by a mile.    We have watched the Patriots dominate this century more than any other team has ever dominated in the history of the NFL.   We know that Bill Belichick is the greatest coach of all time.  We know how good our front 7 is.    We know how good our WR’s are.  We know how much better we are than everybody else.     So really we shouldn’t be congratulated for being right all the time.  Because anybody with half a brain should have realized what was going to happen yesterday.  The problem is that the media and the rest of the country are so blinded with hate and jealousy that they can’t appreciate just how great the Pats are and how great the city of Boston is.    So to quote Randy Moss ... "All you Haters keep Hating.   We're coming"

PS – Do you think the Pats will trade Cassel for the #1 pick in the draft after we win the Superbowl and Brady comes back?   Or will we have another QB controversy?   Just food for thought….

The Red Sox wives and girlfriends put on some fashion show called “From Fenway to the Runway” to benefit for the Red Sox Foundation this weekend. The Herald was kind enough to take a bunch of pictures so our readers could gawk and make rude comments. Something that I personally would never do. But I will say that whoever was running this shindig would have been advised to wait until Jamie Kotsay came to town so she could have classed up this event. Because to say that this lineup was missing a cleanup hitter would be a major understatement. Hideki Okijima's broad and her hooker boots can probably handle the 3 hole with Shonda Schilling leading off and Ellsbury's chick batting 2nd, but other than that there are holes everywhere. You need Jaime Kotsay to knock em in. And where the hell was Enza Sambatoro? Is she pouting because she's not the hottest wife on the team anymore or something?

(All photos from Mark Garfinkel of Bostonherald.com)

Shonda Schilling

Lester's Chick

Mike Lowell's Wife

Pap's Wife

Ellsbury's Chick

Okijima's Wife

Big Papi's Wife

Beckett's Chick

Delcarman's Wife

GREEN BAY, Wis. - A 33-year-old woman is charged with stealing her daughter's identity to attend high school and join the cheerleading team. Wendy Brown, of Green Bay, faces a felony identity theft charge after enrolling in Ashwaubenon High School as her 15-year-old daughter, who lives in Nevada with Brown's mother. "The defendant stated she wanted to get her high school degree and be a cheerleader because she had no childhood and was trying to regain a part of her life she missed," according to the complaint. She allegedly attended cheerleading practices before school started, received a cheerleader's locker and went to a pool party at the cheerleading coach's house. A school liaison officer started investigating Monday after Brown only showed up for the first day of classes last week, the complaint said. The complaint also said the $134.50 check Brown gave to the cheerleading coach for her uniform bounced.

This is the most half assed case of a mother stealing her daughter’s identity to get her High School diploma I’ve ever heard of.    I mean it sounds to me like this chick just wanted to do the extracurricular activities like cheerleading, partying and fucking, but not go to class.    You ain’t going to get your degree that way.    Regardless the best part of this story is that the school only became suspicious after she played hooky and wrote bad checks for her cheerleading uniform.    Seriously I think if she played it close to the vest and went to class she could have been elected Home Coming Queen and made a Disney movie out of it.   

PS – Is there any doubt this chick fucked like 6 dudes in the two days she was enrolled at Aswaaubenon High School?   I guarantee you she was putting out like a mother fucker.

Click for more of Elena Santarelli