Random Thoughts

Oh... so that's why Tim Wakefield doesn't pitch in the playoffs. Now I get it. The good news is that at least it didn't matter since we can't hit either. Looks like this series is going 7 after all.

Introducing Stephanie from Bridgewater State. Somehow Stephanie hasn't been a smokeshow yet which is very strange. She was at our Blueball and I was staring at her I'm sure in a very creepy way thinking to myself how has this girl not been a smokeshow? So I made a mental note to myself to rectify the situation immediately. And here we are. End of story.

Send all smokeshow nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

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National Football Post: Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones has been suspended for at least four games for his most recent violation of the league’s personal conduct policy, the NFL announced Tuesday. In announcing his decision, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said Jones’ “disturbing pattern of behavior was clearly inconsistent with the conditions I set for your continued participation in the NFL.” Goodell will determine the final length of Jones’ suspension following the Cowboys’ Week 11 game against Washington on Nov. 16, the league said. In his latest transgression, Jones was involved in an alcohol-related physical altercation at a Dallas hotel on Oct. 8 that resulted in hotel employees calling the police.... The decision on whether Jones can return to play this season will be based on his strict compliance with his NFL and Cowboys treatment plans as well as on evaluations of Jones’ progress that will be provided to Goodell by clinical experts retained by the NFL.

I have to confess, I love Pacman. He might have one career sack and four career interceptions but he working on the all time NFL record for sticking it to The Man. Like I said yesterday, when the Pats game got out of reach the other night I flipped to "Cool Hand Luke" and realize now it's the perfect metaphor for Pac. Like Luke, Jones is the classic American anti-hero. A smilin', free-spirited rebel who plays by his own rules. Boss Goodell wants to keep him down, break him, make him praise Jesus and all that. "Make it rain in a strip joint, you will spend a night in the box. Get involved in a shooting outside a different strip joint, you will spend a night in the box...." So Pacman gets reinstated and ends up brawling with his bodyguard in a men's room and it's "What he got here is failure to communicate." They can keep on trying, but Pacman isn't going to be cowed any more than Paul Newman was. Because that's my darling Pacman. He grins like a baby but bites like a gator. He's a natural-born world-shaker.

Some guys really, really care about Clemson football I guess. Or love Tommy Bowden more than any man should. Imagine what it must have been like for this guy when he saw the totally, completely NSFW picture of Bowden's daughter that if you click on it will get you fired in a heartbeat. He must've needed ten tissues.

By way of full disclosure, I cried the exact same way when El Pres criticized Terry Francona the other day.

Boston.com - Mike Pingpank of Farmington, Conn. and Pete Kolodner of New York brought some of that old Hartford Whalers' magic to Fenway for Game 3.

I don't know what the point of going to a Red Sox game dressed as the Brass Bonanza is, but I ain't mad at these guys. For some reason the Whalers have a special place in my heart and I really can't explain it. I'm curious whether Bruins fans feel this way or is it just me.

Cue the Brass Bonanza....

"Kapler still makes the chicks wet"

- Thanks to Kevin for the photo. Apparently this chick flew in from Vegas for the game yesterday.

VERO BEACH, Fla. - A McDonald's cashier called 911 after a Vero Beach drive-thru customer allegedly offered to pay for his meal with marijuana. The Indian River County Sheriff's Office said the cashier called Monday with a description of the vehicle the suspect had been riding in. A deputy spotted the vehicle, found marijuana in the car and arrested its occupant, 27-year-old Shawn Alexander Pannullo.

The McDonalds cashier called 911 on this guy?   Really?   This is almost as bad as the guy who got busted for trying to bet with dope at a casino.  The only possible explanation is that he didn’t give him enough dope to get high.  Because I’m pretty sure 99% of Mcdonalds employees in the world would rather get paid in pot rather than cash.  And while I’m no weed expert isn’t the value of like one bud worth way more than the cost of a Happy Meal?    Regardless this is a perfect example of why we need another emergency phone number in this country because this was clearly a 912 situation.

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Philly.com

"You want to get that one big hit where you feel like you're part of the team,'' Stairs said. "Not that I don't feel like I'm part of the team, by no means, but when you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you're getting your ass hammered by guys, it's no better feeling than to have that done.''

- Matt Stairs

Amen brother! Enough of this bullshit. We need some dudes to get their asses pummeled by men tonight. That will totally get us back into this series and bring back the Ramrod all at once.

First of all how did a Devil Rays fan manage to get Monster seats yesterday? Is this guy famous or something? But that's neither here nor there. Did people notice the chick he was with? What's her deal? Hey honey what are you laughing and smiling about? We're getting our asses raped! Don't fucking wear a Red Sox hat and then act like you're at a rave every time the Devil Rays go deep. Seriously I wanted to punch her right in the nose after the 10th time they showed her pretty little face. This sums up everything that was wrong with the Fenway crowd yesterday. Fake ass fans who were quiet as shit because they really don't give a shit. Bottom line is that when I have 4 dimes on the Sox -200 and they are getting their doors blown off I don't want to see some bitch in a Red Sox hat giving blowjobs out everytime the Drays go deep.

NEW BEDFORD — A city police officer is under scrutiny for an Internet personal ad that shows a picture of him in uniform inside a cruiser. The posting is listed under "casual encounters" on Craigslist, a popular classifieds Web site that advertises jobs, apartments, community events and personals. The posting — which has a headline of "Do you have a COP fantasy?" — features a photograph of New Bedford Officer Norman Duchesneau. Posted Aug. 8, the advertising says a fit, 42-year-old white man who is "really a police officer" is looking for women interested in "friends with benefits-type relationships." The ad says the officer is "willing to play out police fantasy," is drug and disease free, and "can be tender, can be rough ... how do you want it?". Officer Duchesneau told Channel 10 News he did not know who posted the picture and wanted to know who did. Mayor Scott W. Lang said an internal police investigation will be conducted. "If we find that anyone misused their position as a police officer or misused their uniform or engaged in judgment that would cast aspersions on the New Bedford Police Department, they will be disciplined," the mayor said. If the posting is authentic, the officer did not break any law but could be found in violation of Police Department regulations governing personal conduct.

Okay first things first.  Officer Duchesneau can cut the shit with this whole somebody is playing a joke on me routine.  Dude, you obviously posted that picture of yourself on craigslist.   But I ain’t mad at you.  It’s just called Internet dating.  Everybody does it.  I mean if I was single I’d totally upload a picture of myself with a caption that said “willing to play out the sex in the back of an Astrovan fantasy”   So I guess what I’m saying is I don’t even know why this is a story?  It’s a sad day when the men in blue have to be ashamed of themselves for trying to get some pussy.  

Okay I’ve had a day to calm down from yesterday’s debacle so now it’s time to look at this series rationally.  But before I do, I want to apologize to Jason Varitek and David Ortiz for saying that they both sucked yesterday.   Because even though they do suck (especially Tek) they’ve both done enough in their careers to earn free passes from me.   It was the heat of the moment and I was pissed.  Bottom line is that neither of them could get a hit for the rest of their lives and I’d still love them to death.  But at the same time I can’t promise that I won’t tear them both a new asshole if they go 0-4 for again tonight.  Anyway enough of the gushy stuff.    Let me say this loud and clear.  We are still going to win this series.  I don’t care what happened yesterday.  It has ZERO impact on what will happen the rest of the series.  In fact, I’d rather get blown the fuck out than lose a one run game like we did on Saturday.   That way you don’t have to think about the what if’s and shit like that.   Bottom line is that we’ve been in this position a million times before and come out on top every time.   And it would be foolish of me or anybody else in the world to doubt this team at this point.   Don’t ask me how we’re going to do it or who is suddenly going to get hot, but just believe that it’s going to happen.  Because don’t forget that we are Boston and they aren’t.    That in itself should give you faith.   Although benching Ellsbury in favor of Crisp would be a nice start.      

More Elisabetta here...

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com

Well that was disgusting.    Listen this series is obviously a long way from over, but we definitely have a lot to be concerned right now.    Honestly I don’t even know where to begin?   I guess with Lester?  Yeah he sucked.  It happens.  What are you going to do?   But I’m far more concerned with the fact that we have at least 3 guys in the lineup who are totally and utterly useless right now.  I mean Ellsbury, Ortiz and Varitek have absolutely no shot when they get up there.    It’s just tough to win games when your leadoff guy and #3 guy are a combined 0-293.   If we’re going to come back in this series we need at least one of those guys to turn it around.    As far as Vartiek goes, I’ll just settle for him not giving up any more passed balls.   I mean there is no point in wishing for him to get hot anymore.   He is what he is and this is a miserable MLB player.  You just hope he never gets up in an important situation the rest of the playoffs or his life for that matter.     Now even if the Sox can get hot again this all assumes Francona won’t fuck it up like he did in game 2.  At some point he is going to have to realize that there is no tomorrow and when you have a chance to win a playoff game you manage to win that game, not for setting up the bullpen for rest of the series.   Finally it didn’t help that the crowd was a freaking joke at Fenway either.  Everybody says Matt Garza’s biggest problem is that he gets too emotional and overthrows in big games.     So what did the rich corporate assholes who go to playoff games do?  They sat on their hands and didn’t make a fucking peep so he’d feel nice and relaxed.   Who says we don’t have courteous fans?