Random Thoughts

Wow. That was one helluva ring and banner raising ceremony. You know its powerful stuff when it brings the Truth to tears. Remember this is a guy who survived 7 stab wounds and a champagne bottle to the head. Perks eyes looked a bit watery too. Even Ed Lacerte looked emotional. But when you kick ass all season long, beat Kobe, LeBron and the Pistons, you can do whatever the fuck you want, including cry (What you didn't see was LeBron James bawling in the locker room as he looked around and realized just how average his teammates are). My one gripe: this ceremony deserved to be on Comcast. The fans deserved to hear Mike Gorman, Tommy and the gang. I swear I saw Dickerson pulling the banner rope with the team. We also deserved to hear Paul Pierce address the crowd, too bad the suits at TNT didn't feel the same way. (Fortunately El Pres was listening on WEEI as he did his paper route and reported that the Pierce speech was like an Oscar acceptance speech in which he thanked everybody from his elementary art school teacher to the guy who makes his Dunkin Donuts) Still you'd think TNT would throw us a bone after screwing up Game 6 of the ALCS.

As for the game, the C's played like shit for the first half but just like last year, they flipped the switch in the 3rd and beat Cleveland. See you all in the Finals. Seriously do me a favor and Cue the Duckboats!

Chuck - Red's Army

We (Red's Army) had the honor of representing Barstool at the Celtics/Comcast media luncheon Tuesday afternoon. Thinking there was a chance of meeting some legends past and present, we jumped at the opportunity. The free food and drink at the Capital Grille in Burlington was an added bonus. The trophy was there....along with Danny Ainge, Mike Gorman, Donny Marshall, Gary Tanguay, the Dick, a shit load of cute Comast PR and sales chicks and various obscure members of the local print and radio media. There was a brief Q&A session and no, I didn't have the balls to ask Danny if he regretted signing Brian Scalabrine or why Cousy had been kicked to the curb. Once lunch ended we got a snapshot of what life is like for El Pres and Co. This old dude tapped John on the shoulder and said, "Two prospective smokeshows would like to talk with you." That's a direct quote. So he went over there and chatted them up while I sat on my hands like a big pussy. Even though we only handle Celtics-related stuff for the Stool, John did the obvious thing and pretended to be the Smokeshow coordinator. Long story short...chicks dig The Stool.

-Blog from Red's Army.com

Introducing Mina from Suffolk. Mina has kind of nailed the hot exotic look huh? Now excuse me while I go do my paper route in a hurricane.

Send all smokeshow nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com. Unless you want to see Molly every day for the rest of your life.

Click here for more of Mina

"They're real, and they're spectacular."

Dailymail.com - His humanitarian campaigning has earnt him the nickname St Bono. Off duty, however, the U2 singer seems to have been tempted into a spot of hell-raising. Pictures show the 48-year-old with his arm round two bikini-clad girls as they carouse at a beach bar in St Tropez. He also joined his angel-faced companions for more drinking and dancing aboard a private yacht. Bono is usually seen in his role as rock star, family man and anti-poverty campaigner, work for which he earned an honorary knighthood. Only last week, he appeared at a conference to make a call to ‘change the world’ before taking his wife and children off to Disneyland in California. The Irishmen met up with two 19-year-olds, American fashion student Andrea Feick and her British friend Hannah Emerson, in the playboys’ playground of St Tropez. Miss Feick told The Mail on Sunday she had known Bono for a few years but insisted their relationship had never crossed the line beyond friendship. She said: ‘I think that for somebody who’s much older than I am... no thank you. ‘No...God no!’ she laughed. ‘God no! He’s a friend of mine and that’s pretty much it. I’m not going to get into details, but it’s a small world.’

This brunette bitch can cut the shit with how she is just friends with Bono.  Obviously she is fucking his brains out.    But who cares?   That’s just how it goes when you are arguably the biggest rock star on the planet.   You fuck the shit out of chicks like normal people take out the trash.   It doesn’t mean he’s not a great family man or doesn’t deserve his knighthood.     It’s just what rich and famous guys do.   And any dude who says they’d do differently in his position is lying.    I always find it funny when shit like this makes headlines and everybody criticizes the guy who is cheating.  Like they are somehow superior to Bono and would never do that.  Please.   Some hot chick throws her pussy at you when your wife is not around and you’ll be balls deep before you even know what happened.   That’s why I never criticize famous people for cheating.  You can’t fight evolution.

TAMPA - Goodbye, obnoxious Red Sox fans. Hello, obnoxious Phillies fans. Twin brats of different dysfunctional mothers, the fanatics of Boston and Philadelphia come to the same place of extreme obnoxiousity from opposite roads. Boston fans have a haughty air of superiority that belies 86 years of "No, No, Nanette"-induced futility only recently replaced by the jinx-busted aura of invincibility. Bostonians call their home The Hub. As in The Hub of the universe. As in the center of all things and the best place on Earth.

So here come the Philly fans. Another obnoxious lot. Whom I love with all my heart... [S]ome of them are obnoxious. But unlike Boston fans, there is no haughty air about Philadelphia. ...[U]nlike Boston fans, Philadelphia fans don't think they, or their city, is the best place on Earth.

So good riddance Boston fans, and bring on the Phils.

Somehow I missed this article when it was written at the start of the World Series. What I find most ironic about it is that I stumbled onto it while web surfing a news item about the Phillies fans who dumped beer over the head of a 9 year old Rays fan, swore at a bunch of others, then forced a Rays' family member to seek refuge in a locked bathroom stall while they banged on the door and threatened him. Oh, yeah. That's Red Sox fans to the core. We do pull that crap all the time. You sure got us pegged.

The guy who wrote this claims he's lived in Philly and in Boston, which makes him qualified to judge. But I'm calling shennanigans. If he "lived" here for any length of time... more than, say, a semester of college or the odd Rays road trip... he'd know that for starters, we don't call ourselves the Hub, and never have. Nor did we ever, at any time, talk about "No, No Nannette." Those are fictions concocted by clueless, elitist, has-been sports columnists that are even bigger hacks than this numbskull. Nor do we think we live in the best place on Earth. As a matter of fact, I'm willing to bet that there's no city in America where it's residents have to tolerate more than we do. The expense. The traffic. Lousy weather. Lack of parking. Corruption. Clueless, elitist, has-been sports columnists. If Boston fans are obnoxious about our success on the field, it's precisely because living here is such a pain in the ass that we crow the way we do. Why wouldn't we? We're the sports capital of the country. Are we supposed to act like we're not? If people in Tampa plan to compete against us every year, they're going to have to take off their diapers, get thicker skin, and learn to deal with it.

Because we're the City of Dynasties. What's Philly's excuse?

Inside Track - After a nationwide search, NESN has finally found a replacement for “SportsDesk” vixen Hazel Mae - and it’s a dude! Cole Wright, sports director of WVLA, the NBC affiliate in Baton Rouge, La., and a former minor-league pitcher, will take over for the departed Hazel next month. Wright will anchor “SportsDesk” and host the station’s sports news programming. He replaces Mae, who will start work as the face of the new MLB Network when it debuts in January.

So NESN scoured the country for Hazel Mae’s replacement and this is the best they could come up with?   A Good Old Boy from the South?      I’m confused.   I thought after the Heidi Watney signing NESN had finally figured out what puts asses in the seats, but apparently not. Granted I don’t know “Cole” from a hole in the wall, but I feel confident saying I hate his guts and so will everybody else.    Bottom line is that Boston people don’t want to get their sports news from some slack jawed yokel from the South.   Unless of course she is a Southern Belle with tits and an ass that you dream about.  But that certainly isn’t the case here.  Very confusing.

LAS VEGAS -- Despite what appeared to happen Monday night in Philadelphia, the Tampa Bay Rays lost Game 5 of the World Series. At least in the view of Nevada sports books, the Phillies won 2-1.  The game was suspended because of rain in the middle of the sixth inning with the score tied 2-2. The Rays had tied it in the top of the sixth when Carlos Pena's two-out single scored B.J. Upton. However, even though the suspended game is scheduled to be completed today, the betting result is final. According to Nevada gaming rules -- often referred to as "house rules" -- the final score of an official game is determined by reverting to the last completed inning. The Phillies led 2-1 after the fifth. "We're just following the regular baseball rules. This is a very common rule," Las Vegas Hilton sports book director Jay Kornegay said. "We can't make exceptions”. 

Wow, talk about a heart of stone?  These sports book directors make Michael Corleone look like Santa Claus.  I mean if the Rays come back and win Game 5 this could turn out to be one of the worst beats of all time -- people will actually lose money when the team they bet on won! Ouch! Believe me, I understand "house rules" and all that from painful past experiences (see below), but why not just wait until the game is completed before paying out either way?  The only explanation has to be Vegas would stand to lose more money if the Rays won than if the Phillies won.  That’s really the only thing that makes sense.  Anyway I thought I had seen it all when they turned the lights out during UNLV/Wisconsin in 2002, but this game could end up being right up there. For the 10 millionth time, once again, nobody beats the house.

If you know me you know that when times get tough and I need a some spiritual guidance, the first place I turn to is the Favre Family Blog. And in the latest post, written by his wife, didn't disappoint. Deanna apparently is angry that her rarely criticized husband is being occasionally criticized, and by God she's not going to take it any more:

Over the past couple of weeks, my heart has been very heavy. I have stood by…silently… watching the media continually attack my husband...However, this latest round of media scrutiny has been harder, more disheartening and seemingly unending... But, over the past weeks, we have been deeply affected by the various media reports and accusations that have unfairly questioned Brett’s loyalty, fairness and character... But, I will say, most hurtful are those media reports who would like you to believe that Brett is eaten up with bitterness over his split with the Packers. Still feeling some grief, sure… but not bitterness... certainly, Brett does not, in any way, hold a vendetta against his former team. But that has not stopped some from scrutinizing his every move and blaming him for so many things that simply are not true. Some incidents, like the locker room pranks appear funny (but they are still untrue)… Others, like the questionable phone calls to other teams, are hurtful, distasteful, and… still untrue as they have been reported... Because of this, lately, my heart has been so heavy. It is very hard to watch the daily toll this has taken on Brett.

For starters, I'd forgotten that Favre is married. To someone besides John Madden, I mean. Second, my heart goes out to Deanna. Her life must be a living hell, married to the most over-worshipped, universally-lauded athlete of our times. I'm sure the rain drops of criticism he takes amid the torrential downpour of adulation are making for a lot of sleepless nights. It must be torture, knowing that somewhere out there are a handful of websites like Barstool poking fun at her husband in the middle of the deafening cacophany of fawning praise from the old media heaped upon him over the last 18 years. Unless I missed something, I don't remember Deanna getting her panties in a bunch during ESPN's week long Brettfavre-a-palooza following his mock retirement last spring. By the way, if Brett isn't "bitter" or doesn't have a "vendetta" against his former team, that's news to Ted Thompson.

If you didn't click the link to read Deanna's entire blog, don't bother. It goes on and on and ends in a psalm. In the interest of time, I'll paraphrase it for you:

"Since my husband left Green Bay, a tiny minority of people have sporadically said mildly negative things against him. I would like to remind those people that he is Brett Favre. What part of that don't you understand? He is above criticism. When he went back on his word and unretired, he did so out of the "love of the game." Every time he did so. When he gives the Lions advice on how to beat the Packers, it's not a vendetta. Besides he didn't do it. But if he did, it's because everyone else does. When he throws a ball into coverage and costs his team a game like he did against the Patriots, it's not dumb, it's "trying to make a play." He is Brettfavre, and he's not to be judged by the standards of a mortal quarterback. What part of that don't you people understand? Have you learned nothing from Peter King all these years?"

Inside Track - “Hills” hottie Doug Reinhardt has some advice for New England Patriots[ team stats] QB/QT Tom Brady [ stats] about his bum knee: “Just stick it out,” he said. “It’s tough . . . it’s a brutal surgery.” Reinhardt, who played minor-league baseball for the Angels and Orioles, had knee surgery before he headed west to “The Hills.” “When I blew out my knee I was done for the whole season,” he told the Track. “So I was like, OK, I’m just gonna move to L.A.” As luck would have it, Reinhardt ran into was “Hills” honey Lauren Conrad, and when they began dating, he found himself on her MTV reality show. Anyway, Doug insists that once his knee finally heals he will bid bye-bye to L.C. & Co. and get back to baseball. “This is a fun little thing I did while I was hurt,” he said. “Once I’m cleared to go, I’m 100 percent baseball.” In the meantime, you can catch the “Hills” hottie’s act in person Friday at Shrine in the MGM Grand at Foxwoods and in Boston on Saturday at The Estate.

Okay I know that 97% of our readers are probably going to hate this next blog, but guess what?   I don’t give a shit.  It’s my blog and I write about what I want.   Anyway what’s the fucking deal with Doug from the Hills trying to act like some sort of big shot and doing the celebrity tour now?     I literally spit out my coffee and I wasn’t even drinking any when I saw the Inside Track doing a story on him being in Boston for the weekend.   Who the fuck cares about this idiot?   He’s the biggest clown on The Hills and those are fighting words since they are all clowns.   Dude, keep sitting around in a whirlpool with four guys wearing your hats backwards and big sunglasses.   Honestly I wonder who will be coming to Shrine or the Estate next?   Jen Bunny maybe?   (Granted I’d actually like to see that, but I digress)  Oh and Doug can cut the shit about his baseball career.  Guy is a lifetime .201 hitter with 3 HR’s in three years.   I can roll out of bed and hit that tomorrow.

Sign paid for by MA Animal Interest Coalition (AKA Dog Haters)

Anybody who knows me knows I love dogs and I love gambling.  I’ve had dogs growing up my whole life and I’ve been a degenerate gambler my whole life. So I couldn’t help but notice when these signs with little paw prints on them starting popping up everywhere which read “Save our Dogs and Our Jobs Vote No On Question 3.” They made no sense to me.   I knew it had to be in regards to the question about banning Greyhound Racing in MA, but how could voting for saving the dogs also save jobs?  Well the answer is that it can’t.    This is just the racings industries attempt to mislead the public.  Voting "No" on question #3 is a vote to continue Greyhound Racing and save Wonderland.   But it certainly won’t help save the dogs who get treated like shit and who race there.   So to put little paw prints on the signs and make it seem like if you love dogs you should vote no on Question 3 is as fucking low as it gets.  It should say “Save Dog Racing, Keep Treating the Dogs Like Shit, Vote No on Question #3.”   Big difference.    Honestly how can you trust anything proponents of Greyhound Racing say when this is their ad campaign?  They are flat out lying right in your face.    Also anybody who has ever been to Wonderland knows that the place is a dump and 99% of the jobs there are minimum wage jobs that are a dime a dozen.  They also know that the Greyhounds get treated like shit.     So even though I love gambling this decision is an absolute no brainer for me.   Vote YES on question 3 and save the dogs.    If you want to gamble go to Suffolk Downs or Foxwoods.    Obviously everybody can vote however they want and I don’t like preaching about shit like this, but I was so repulsed by that sign that I had to say something.  It’s just total bullshit.

(Boom you're dead!)

ReadingEagle - A 29-year-old man was shot in both legs outside a Reading convenience store early Saturday after looking at a woman who exposed her breasts, city police said. According to investigators, the victim and his friend were getting gas when they saw a woman lift her shirt, exposing her breasts. While they were looking at her, a male got out of a vehicle and fired five shots at the victim. It was unclear whether the gunman was with the woman or if the two incidents were related.


I’m not sure I’ve ever read a story where a guy’s luck changed so fast.  One second he’s pumping gas looking at a pair of tits and the next second he’s shot five times in the legs.   That’s what people in the business call a sudden change of momentum.    Regardless what do these investigators mean they don’t know whether the two incidents were related?   Of course they’re related!   You don’t randomly get flashed and shot at the same time unless the gunman and the tit jockey are in cahoots.   You don’t need to be a detective to figure that out.   Let’s just hope these investigators get their shit together and fast.  Because forget about finding Osama Bin Laden.  This shooter is like a billion times more dangerous.  We can’t have a madman on the loose that gets his kicks shooting people that are caught staring at boobs.   Not now.  Not ever.   

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(send wake up nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com)