Domonique Foxworth Talking About Dildos And Fleshlights On SportsCenter Was My Favorite Analysis Of The Matt Harvey Situation
So this was on SportsCenter AM yesterday, a Stoolie told me that the Dan Le Batard Show was discussing it, and now I can’t help but watch it over and over. Yeah it started with some pointed racism in America talk, but Domonique pulled a HARD turn left and shifted that conversation into quite another realm. It was almost like Foxworth broke out into some Michael Scott improversation.
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Anytime someone on TV says “I’m probably going to get fired, but I don’t care I don’t need this job”, I’m all-in on what’s about to be said. If that person then brings up sex toys like the Fleshlight, then I am turning off the lights and my phone like a Thrones episode is about to come on. And what a ride it was. ESPECIALLY for the people that had no context because they don’t live on Twitter or ride or die with the Dildo Boyz like I do. I like to imagine people in the flyover states throwing their TV out the window as Foxworth discussed the proper procedure for heating a Fleshlight on a casual Monday morning.
And the best part of that video (outside of the sex toy talk) is that the entire Matt Harvey situation wasn’t touched upon. Not the suspension. Not missing the game. Not an alleged hangover or Saturdays Are For The Hamptons shirt. None of it. Just straight dildo and pocket pussy talk. If ESPN fires Foxworth, I’m fighting tooth and nail to get him hired at Barstool. That dude has smut game for years. Tape don’t lie. God bless the Rally Dildo.
When the guest on your show starts talking about his Fleshlight being done in the microwave like a Hot Pocket and says “It’s go time”
P.S. I have always been Team Lindsay Czarniak. LCZ Express for liiiiiiiife. But that giggle during Foxworth’s story turned me into the heart eyes emoji before melting me into a puddle of goo. If ESPN fired LCZ, I’d have no choice but to boycott the Worldwide Leader forever.
h//t Nick