BREAKING NEWS: Chris Klemmer Has Threatened To Cut Tommy Smokes From The Barstool Basketball Team During An Unprecedented Coach Vs Player Blog War
AP News (Manhattan, New York) Pairing Chris Klemmer, the winningest coach in Barstool basketball rec league history, with Tommy Smokes, perhaps the greatest clutch shooter of all time, was a dream scenario on paper, BUT according to both parties, that dream has officially become a nightmare.
There is a war taking place on the Barstool basketball team, but the battles aren't being fought on the court, or even the confines of locker room. In an unprecedented turn of events, both coach and player have aired out their hatred for one another on the internet, through blogs.
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Both sides have drawn a line in the sand, and stated their case. Coach Klemmer claims Tommy Smokes is an entitled, uncoachable, locker room cancer. Meanwhile, Smokes is claiming to have both the hearts and minds of his teammates, and it's actually coach Klemmer's stubbornness, poor basketball IQ, and potentially sexist behavior that are tearing the locker room apart.
The team's general manager, Dana Beers, signed Tommy Smokes in the off season to address the glaring lack of 3 point shooting on the roster, much to the chagrin of the team's head coach. It's Klemmer's philosophy that the game should be played in the paint, and the 3 point line is an impure stain on the game of basketball. Coach let it be known in the season opener that bad 3's would not be tolerated.
Unfortunately for Klemmer, his philosophy is believed to be an outdated 1930's style of play according to his team. You know who else had little tolerance, and demanded their awful 1930's philosophy be followed? Hitler. Now I'm not saying the team thinks Klemmer is in fact Hitler, but it is an interesting coincidence.
Several members of the team have stated their frustration with rotations, minutes played, and coaching philosophy, but Smokes has taken the brunt of the blame from the coaching staff.
During the second game of the season, Klemmer berated Smokes in front of a full stadium. Shouting at the the rookie, telling Smokes he was stupid, and wouldn't be going back into the game. Smokes showed professionalism by turning the other cheek to the verbal lashing, but any young player's confidence would be shaken from a coach addressing a player in this manner.
It seems like the team is walking on egg shells, afraid to even take a shot for fear of getting benched, or worse. Coach Klemmer has publicly stated Smokes has one more strike, and he's out. Threatening to cut Smokes if there is another incident. With Klemmer not wanting Smokes around before the season even started, did a young talent like Smokes stand a chance in this environment? Are the general manager and head coach on the same page? One thing is for sure, it's Klemmer's way, or the highway.