Happy 36th Birthday To (Newly Single) Ana de Armas!
Listen, I'm always trying to find ways to innovate as a blogger. For some, that's blogging 76 words repurposing Rone's content as your own with barely legible English. For me, it's been the Sydney Sweeney beat. Like any news room, some of the other writers took note and have begin to attack my pageviews on Ms. Sweeney. That's fine and dandy, and there's a saying somewhere about if one person is eating, then the whole family will too or something. That's what Sydney does. She brings clicks in droves and in return, we stay employed on this pirate ship.
But as I mourn the loss of the Lakers heading to Cancun far earlier than they should have, I needed to find something different. Megan Fox? Nate's got that one. Paige Spiranac? Our golf guys used to have that when they actually blogged, and I think she's allegedly dating Dante or something now. Celtics recap blogs? Greenie's boring enough for those. But what about my newly single queen Ana de Armas?
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That's it. So consider my position as a few things here at Barstool SPORTS. The only real Lakers or Real Madrid fan. The Sydney Sweeney clicks merchant. And the Ana de Armas beat reporter. From all accounts, she's still single as of this writing, so fellas, you've still got your opportunity. Maybe hit her with a happy 36th birthday! One more rotation around the sun.