“Yo Vindog! Do you have any advice for meeting her parents for the first time?”

Vindog2/17/2024 10:00 PM

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On February 13th, PinballWizard writes: “Yo Vindog! Do you have any advice for meeting her parents for the first time?”

Meeting a girl’s parents for the first time is tough, but every knucklehead has had to do it. Some who have had more than one girlfriend have done it several times. It gets easier…

You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Dress nicely, PinballWizard. Don't drench yourself in cologne; her parents don't want to smell you arriving or after you've left. And act normal! They'll watch every move you make and try to size you up.

I have three sons and no daughters. When one of my sons brought a girl home to meet my wife and me, I always played the good dad and extended a hand, “Hi, nice to meet you…”

But, in all honesty, I’m really a bad dad, and I was sizing them up and thinking, “That’s the piece of ass my son’s currently boinking…”

I can’t say for sure what's going through another dad’s mind when he meets his daughter’s new boyfriend, but I think I have a pretty good idea…

When the girl’s dad meets her BF for the first time, he’s gotta be thinking, “That’s the kid who’s boinking my little princess…” There’s no way that’s not an uncomfortable moment for both Dad and BF, PinballWizard, but you gotta be strong and get past it.

Of course, if her dad looks like an out-of-control Wyatt Earp and is cocking a double-barrel shotgun in a threatening way, get the fuck out of Dodge in a hurry!

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Assuming when you meet your girl’s parents for the first time, they appear relatively normal, PinballWizard, be polite and act like a gentleman, maintain good eye contact, speak clearly, and have a firm handshake. You can’t come across like a rabble-rouser either; you gotta tone it down, which, for most knuckleheads, can be somewhat challenging.

And to avoid further suspicion, and her parents will be suspicious, keep your goddamn wandering eyes off her little sister!