BO_NERR writes: "Yo Vindog! How do I get my wife to let me have intercourse with other women?"

On February 13th,  BO_NERR writes: "Yo Vindog!  How do I get my wife to let me have intercourse with other women?"

It sounds like you and your wife have been in a monogamous relationship for a while, and although changing the rules after the fact isn't impossible, it's complicated…

If she prefers monogyny to an open marriage, she'll consider your ask outrageous and a personal attack on her sexuality. Most individuals in monogamous relationships would like to believe they've been able to satisfy their partners, and some are shocked when they find out they haven't, that their partner wants more than they've been able to give…

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Getting permission from your wife to have intercourse with other women is a one-sided proposition and highly improbable. You'll need to offer her something in return. A new SUV, a trip to Aruba, or permission to have intercourse with other men…

You would be wise to start the discussion about the positive effects open marriages have on relationships because, in some cases, they can reduce the sexual tension couples experience when one partner desires more sex than the other. But be advised, according to recent data, 92% of open marriages end in divorce…

Men are like dogs in heat when free to get their freak on; they're not real fussy. Women, on the other hand, are choosy. They tend to have higher standards, desiring hookups with more upscale guys when they're free to explore, and they're more likely to fall in love with the other guy, statistics show…

I had a kid working for me years ago. His GF was 5 foot 6, slim with muscular legs, an impressive rack, a great ass, olive skin, long, straight black hair, and big brown eyes. On a scale of 1-10, she was a 12. He was definitely playing way above the rim…

One Friday afternoon, on the way home from a job, I asked him about his plans for the night. He said his GF was going out with her girlfriends, and he was gonna go out and "bang a fatty…"

I wasn't sure what he meant by "fatty," so I asked. He responded in a bro voice, "You know, a fatty. Sometimes, a guy just needs to bang a big fat girl…" Then he laughed.

Here's a kid who had an incredible GF, and all he wanted to do was go out and "bang a fatty…" Sorry, but I didn't get it…

All I could think was he was willing to risk everything to get his freak on and satisfy his insatiable appetite for big girls, which isn't a bad thing in and of itself. No fat shaming here. Whatever floats your boat. But he was in a monogamous relationship with a gorgeous girl!  

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Staras. Getty Images.

I imagined him parking his car in a remote spot at the Westgate Mall and shoehorning his "fatty" into the backseat. Then, his GF would drive by in a car full of her GFs, see his car, and yell to the driver, "Hey, stop, there's my BF's car. Pullover!" 

When the car was close enough, she and all her GFs would see this beast of a woman, her face pressed up against the side window in the back, nostrils flared wide open, breathing like a locomotive, steaming up the glass and making godawful sounds, while over her shoulders, her BF, gripping the girl's monstrous hips with both hands, holding on tight like a professional bull rider while he continued banging her non-stop from behind…

There would be no walkin' this one back. He'd be all done. His gorgeous GF humiliated in front of all her GFs…

So, what would be left for him? Regret and a fatty who devours two boxes of Little Debbie Cupcakes a day. Would getting his freak on and "bangin' a fatty" be worth it, then? 

You never know what you got till it's gone… 

I suggest you work on your sexual relationship with your wife, BO_NERR. Try and work it out before asking your wife to change your relationship status from monogamous to open. Know that she may embrace your offer more than you think and find a guy with more money and a bigger dick, and all you could be left with is a demanding fatty and an apartment full of empty Little Debbie cupcake boxes… 

Just in case you missed the last one…