"Yo Vindog! How do you handle a relationship where you are absolutely best friends but not really feeling it as a couple?"
"Yo Vindog! Being female I can tell you that a lengthy relationship is usually based upon the patience and understanding of one of the participants. And it seems I am always the patient one. My guy has ADD and is the kindest guy I know but clueless. Can't boil water. How do you handle a relationship where you are absolutely best friends but not really feeling it as a couple? Luckily, we don't live together…"
JIMJESSCLO3, having a best friend is always a good thing, but in order to have a serious relationship with that person, he has to pull his weight, or it won't work. And that includes domestic chores. I never met a woman who wanted to be her BF's maid or head chef. And him having ADD is no excuse!
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Everyone wants a mutually satisfying relationship, and if your guy doesn't have a clue and relies on you for everything, including patience, then it's time to sit down and go over the ground rules.
A good friend of mine didn't do anything around his house; he let his wife do everything. Maybe he had ADD, who knows? So, his wife set up a rewards program to motivate him to do more domestic chores.
The rewards were always in the form of sexual favors. He told me some of the specifics, and she definitely made it worth his while…
If he cleared the table and loaded/unloaded the dishwasher, he earned a tug. For more involved chores inside the house, like vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom or the hardwood/tile floors, he received oral…
Yard work, which is more labor intensive, had even better rewards. There were happy endings in various positions, each specific to the type of task completed. Really, it was a win-win. The house looked better, and their sex life improved.
His wife was fucking hot, so after he revealed her rewards program to me, I told him, "Don't be surprised if one Saturday morning you hear a small engine and look out your window and see me out there mowing your lawn…"
Trust me, if the rewards are good enough, your boyfriend will learn how to boil water quickly. He may even start making you full-course dinners.
I think the rewards program is a great idea and can be very effective in helping a "clueless boyfriend" get his shit together and, ultimately, make the two of you a legitimate couple like you want.
Just make sure he doesn't tell too many of his friends about the rewards program, or you could have a crew of willing guys working in your yard every Saturday morning. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Competition is always good for business…
Like the song says, "You can't always get what you want, honey, but if you try sometimes, well, you might just find, you'll get what you need…"
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Just in case you missed the last one…