3 Weird Things People Do in London

Despite flying a combined total of 22 hours and spending over 2 grand to watch Arsenal get boat raced 2-0, I still had an amazing time in London. Although the birds were shit, there was a lot of beauty within the city. The architecture in London is breathtaking, you feel like you're walking in a time machine. I also completely forgot the fact that England was an island which explains why the trees and I don't know what to call it, but "forest-like" environment or maybe a better term would be nature was so beautiful. 

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Now that I'm done glazing London, it's time for me to tell you about all the weird shit they do across the pond.

1. Piss

Here in the states, "piss" has one meaning, and one meaning only; urnine coming out of your dick. That's not the case in London. I never knew the word piss could mean so many things. So allow me to break it down for you:

A) Get on the piss- 

I was standing outside drinking a beer and my glass was starting to get low, so this old geezer walked over and told me to "get on the piss." I told the old geezer I don't have to piss, he laughed, pointed at his beer, and said "get on the piss." I didn't want to be disrespectful in another mans country so I ordered another beer and got back on the piss.

B) He's taking a piss or he's pissing- 

Naturally, when someone tells you they're taking a piss, they're usually talking about releasing urine out of their dick. In London, if someone says he's taking a piss it means he's joking. If someone were to say a joke that might have been taken too far they'll hit you with the "relax mate he's just pissing." Or let's say a soccer player missed a penalty kick, someone would say "he's taking a fucking piss." I don't know, don't ask me, it makes no sense, but it's kinda funny.

I think there's two other ways to use piss in London but I honestly couldn't understand what the guy was saying to me. It's weird, we both speak english, but it's two completely different languages.

2. Pubs and Bars are two different things

If you plan on going to London anytime soon, make sure you understand the difference between a pub and a bar.

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A) Pubs- 

There is no joke 6 pubs on every street in London, I've never seen anything like it. In the States you have to go to a downtown if you want to see a strip of bars, in London you just have to walk outside and you can pick your poison. The drinking culture is very real, but it's not as intense as it sounds. The people aren't drinking to blackout, they're drinking to socialize, which, to me, is very weird. Aside from that, pubs don't play music. I have never walked into a bar in the states that didn't play music. At first I hated it, but once you stop staring at your cell phone and start talking to the randoms at the pub it was actually kind of nice to sit there drink and get to know someone without a DJ blasting the 2006 hot 100 in your ear. Oh! I almost forgot! They drink beers on the sidewalk! The people in London will walk into a pub order a drink, walk outside, and slug beers on the sidewalks or as they call it "paths" rather than inside the pub. There would be no joke 40-60 people on the sidewalk chugging beers. Even the buss boys would come out to collect glasses it was fucking wild.

B) Bars- 

Ok so bars are where "the birds are at." Before I dive deeper into bars, the girl to guy ratio in London is dog shit. You get one bird for every four guys, shit was mid. Anyway, the bars in London are much like the bars in the States. The only difference being there's a bigger emphasis on dining. In the States, a bar is built around the actual bar. Across the pond, the bar is built around the dining. You'll have a bunch of table and couches to sit on, and instead of being belly up at the bar you bring the drinks back to your table. Weird, but still a good time. 

3. Street Lights

Maureen McLean. Shutterstock Images.

Not only do these fucks drive on the wrong side of the road, but they also somehow found a way to make traffic lights more difficult. It doesn't get easier than red, yellow, green, but our distinct relatives across the pond are always trying to make life difficult. In London, the street lights are like drag racing lights. If you pull up to a red light instead of it going from red to green, it will go red, then yellow, and then green. This ain't Mario Cart bruv, just flip that shit green and let's go. 

Overall I had a great time there even if they do things backwards from the good ol US of A.