First Pitch Perfect: The Journey To The Majors (Step Three - Kids Pitch)

Ohios Tate5/08/2024 7:20 PM

So obviously Tee Ball (placing the ball on a tee) and Coach Pitch (underhand tossing the ball from 10 feet) were easy, but now we've officially gotten to the point where it gets difficult. Remember, to move on to the next level I have to throw a Strike. No retakes, either a Strike or find a new team at the same level. And let me say this, with the increase in difficulty has come an increase of notoriety. Crown Point Youth Baseball rolled out the red carpet for us, filled with uniforms, hats, a bullpen, and a press box. Talk about the mecca of small town baseball complexes. And while it was fun to sign baseballs and brims of hats for a bit, I officially got nervous once the bright lights came on. Take a look at the video if you want to see how it went......

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...............but that's a Strike.

If you want to know how I know it's a Strike, it's because the Umpire called it so. So I have bad news for the few of these on Twitter that I received:

WRONG! I don't know what you want me to do here. The way Balls and Strikes are determined in baseball is that there is a guy who plops his ass down behind the Catcher and gets paid to judge the pitch. We use the Umpire at each level. A parent called the Tee Ball pitch, a 14 year old making $20 for the game called the Coach Pitch, and this licensed Umpire determined this pitch was a Strike.

....and it was.

First of all, that's a Strike no matter what I say next. I can't believe I even have to explain myself to some of you simpletons. Forget that it's 12u baseball, that's a Strike at every level of the game. It's called painting the corners, which is just good pitching. In fact, the Umpire said "you couldn't have placed that any better". I'm aware that the visual makes it look like it MIGHT be half of a centimeter outside, but if you're going to zoom in that hard, I also want you to zoom in the fact the plate got knocked a little off to the side. You've got about an inch to the Lefty batter's box and a foot to the right. That's a fucking Strike and if you don't think so, please reach out to the Umpire and/or your Eye Doctor.

** Not going to mention that a basic frame job out of the catcher makes this a non-issue, but he's 12 so I'll let him pass.

Anyways, that's now Tee Ball, Coach Pitch, and Kids Pitch down. And I knew it was a special run, but I didn't realize truly how historic what we've accomplished has been. Just got off the phone with Guinness and we have confirmed....

Talk about a record that will stand for a long, long time. Anyways, we are officially looking for a HIGH SCHOOL GAME to throw out a Ceremonial First Pitch at.