Introducing Gia from Providence.   I love Providence smokeshows.   I feel like it buys me another 6 months of not paying Manzo every time I find one.  Some employers pay their employees in money.  I pay mine in hats and smoke show alums.

Do you know any smoke shows that are so hot that they would give you no choice but to cheat on your significant other if you thought you could hook up with them?   Send them our way to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click Here for more pics of Gia

HOUSTON -- Marche Taylor’s prom night experience wasn’t what you would call the norm.  That’s because instead of a night of dancing and hanging out with friends, the Madison High School senior ended in a confrontation with school officials and her being escorted out in handcuffs. All because school officials said her dress was inappropriate for the school prom.  "I actually like the dress. Everybody else likes my dress,” Taylor said of her custom-made dress as she showed it off Friday afternoon.  Madison High's prom took place at the Sugar Land Marriot. But Taylor only got as far as the lobby because when she tried to enter the ballroom an official stopped her.  At that point, Taylor said she was furious. After all this was her senior prom. She argued if she couldn't get in, she wanted her money back. Things got so bad, the next thing she knew, someone had called the police. Officers showed up, handcuffed her and escorted her out.

What do the Stoolies think about this?   Should Marche Taylor have been banned from her prom?   Personally in this day and age, I think as long as your coochy and tits aren’t hanging out you’re good to go.  But what happens on the dance floor stays on the dance floor. Bottom line is that you can’t have celebrities dressing like sluts for every Red Carpet event and then not expect teenage kids to do it.    I think it may be time for a “Free March Taylor” t-shirt.

Vote 1 for she got screwed and 10 for the school did the right thing

Okay it's time to guess who Sue Simmons was talking to when she asked "What The Fuck Are You Doing?" My guess is that old Chuck Scarborough (anchor sitting next to her) was trying to finger bang her underneath the desk. That has to be it right? After all, fingering a chick during a live broadcast is like the oldest newsdesk trick in the book. Everybody knows this.

Does anybody have any other explanation?

 To Whom It May Concern:

As everybody knows by now, this past week Matt Walsh came forward and gave all his spygate tapes to the NFL.    And unfortunately for me there was no tape of the Rams walk through practice before the 202 Superbowl.   This of course is in direct conflict to the article that I wrote the day before this year’s Superbowl claiming that such a tape existed.  An article that became the #1 story of the entire Superbowl week and put my name in lights.    While the attention was great for me, this new revelation has obviously made me look like a total idiot and scumbag.   Journalists, fans, and human rights advocates across the country have demanded that I stop being a pussy and come forward and explain myself.    How could I publish an article that appears to be made up out of this air?   If Matt Walsh wasn’t my anonymous source than who was it?  Not only have I jeopardized my entire career but I am on the verge of putting the Herald out of business for good.  Publications like Barstool Sports have called for a nationwide boycott until I am fired or suspended from my job.   So in light of these recent developments, I have finally decided be a man and tell everybody my side of the story.

Click To Read The Entire Letter

How much money do you think that Papelbon has taken from Hideki Okajima so far?    I mean Hideki doesn’t even speak English does he? And Craps is just confusing enough where no matter what Hideki throws Papelbon can tell still tell him he lost.   

As a side note is there any bigger scumbags in the universe than people who bet the “Don’t Pass” line in Craps?   I've been meaning to talk about this for years. Just a total dirtbag move. It's like rooting for Microsoft. I have a buddy who constantly does this and I’m cutting him out of my wedding because of it and I'm not even engaged.  

- Kudos to Out in Centerfield which is some Red Sox blog from a lady in Texas I think. I wonder if I just fulfilled a dream of hers by linking her on the Stool?

The highlight of last night's demoralizing Game 4 loss to the Cavaliers clearly came when LeBron James' mother joined the mini-scrum involving her son, Paul Pierce and KG. Only King James could tell his mother to "Sit your ass down!" What's not funny is the fact this woman has more fight in her than any Celtics player. Old Man Ray continues to shoot poorly, but I am willing to give him a pass on that front. What I can't excuse is his inability to beat Wally Szczberiak off the dribble or stick with him on the defensive end. Paul Pierce is lost on the offensive end. Maybe guarding LeBron James is taking its toll. He looks clueless when double-teamed, unable to find the open man. You think 6-17 from the field was bad, how about the fact he took 2 free throws. Kevin Garnett had just two points on five shots in the second half. If he can pound his chest and scream at his teammates, then why can't he demand they pass him the ball? There are a slew of other problems with this team. When Rondo and Cassell suck on the same night, we have no chance of winning. Doc Rivers needs to recognize when Cassell is having an off-night, and dust off Eddie House. The guy can score. After watching Sam run the offense in the playoffs, I'm convinced Eddie can do the same. All the issues this team faced in the pre-season - Ray can't play D, Rondo can't make jumpers, KG isn't assertive enough in the clutch, the Big 3 won't look comfortable together, Doc Rivers is a bad coach -have proven true in the playoffs.

Chuck - Red's Army

As many Stoolies have pointed out, Smokeshow of the Month Winner "Lauren" recently appeared on Boston.com looking all hot and bothered. Apparently she is parlaying her Barstool fame into world domination. Pretty soon she's going to be in the movies or something. Maybe our new tagline should be as follows:

Barstool Sports: "Where Stars Are Made"

(The Cheeseman)

Bostonherald.com - You want to know who really finished off the Mafia in Boston? The New England Patriots[ team stats] and the Boston Red Sox [team stats]. Tfinal coup de grace came from the recent winning seasons of the local teams. Carmen “the Cheeseman” DiNunzio and his sad-sack crew relied on bookies for most of their income, and local bookies have had a bad run lately, a very bad run. It turns out, the myth is reality. An Irishman did wreck La Cosa Nostra. But it wasn’t Whitey Bulger. It was Tom Brady [ stats].  “I am thinking of filing a class-action lawsuit,” one local attorney said Friday, “on behalf of the New England Mafia, against the Patriots and the Red Sox, for winning too much and destroying the business.”  “Some of the bookies with half a brain tried to lay off the heavy local action on the Pats and the Red Sox,” one observer noted. “But after awhile, the guys you are laying off to get tired of losing too, and they won’t take any more action."

Clearly Howie Carr has no idea what he is talking about here.    Okay maybe people won on the Red Sox last year.  But I don’t think people were cleaning up.    And it wasn’t like they were long odds.    More importantly WAY more people bet football than baseball.   And the Pats covered like twice out of their last 10 games last year.  Bottom-line if you bet the Patriots last year you lost.  End of story.   And the only Superbowl they’ve covered during their dynasty run has been the Rams.  So what the fuck is Howie Carr talking about?  Dude, get a fucking clue before you start blabbing about how the success of the Red Sox and Pats killed local bookies because there is no way that it’s true.   Bookmaking is recession proof. Everybody knows this. I wonder if Howie Carr even realizes how the line works?  He probably thinks the Pats were 18-1 last year vs. the spread.   That’s the only possible explanation.  It never ceases to amaze me when reporters talk about shit that they have no clue about.  Leave the gambling and Mortal Locks to Barstool Sports.

Click here for the answer...

Money.co.uk - A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad's credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order. Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father's existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing "Halo" on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel. The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business. Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

This is one of the most popular stories on the Internet right now, but I’m calling bullshit.   If this is true why isn’t there an article about it in any Texas Newspaper or website?  Makes no sense.    So I’m not going sit here and waste my time being hilarious when I don’t even think this is a real story.  I guess this just goes to prove that I’m like smarter than like 99% of the rest of the bloggers out there.   You’re not going to get catch me commenting on a fake story.   

PS – If this is real I take back everything I just said.

CocokeyResort.com - Coco Key Water Resort is New England’s newest attraction for all ages! Located 30 minutes North of Boston, Massachusetts this 65,000 sq. ft indoor water park was inspired by Key West, Florida – so the year round temperature here is always 84 〫degrees.  CoCo Key features four slides - two body slides and two raft slides, an adventure river, activity pool with basketball, the Palm Grotto indoor/outdoor spa and the Parrot's Perch interactive water play center with slides and 300 gallon tipping bucket. Younger children will enjoy the Dip-In Theatre; a zero-entry pool with slides and a sail above to watch movies.  Looking to unwind and have a meal or drink? Visit our Wet Rooster Bar, Pizza Hut and A & W or the TradeWinds Restaurant & Lounge inside the Sheraton Ferncroft. Don’t forget to stop by the Key Quest Arcade where children of all ages can challenge their skills on more than 60 interactive games.  For the ultimate in relaxation rent a cabana for the day! These private rooms are equipped with a flat screen television, dining table and chairs, mini-refrigerator and additional seating.  Cabanas available in standard (seats up to 6) and deluxe (seats up to 10).

Ferncroft opened an indoor Water Park?    I don’t know why, but this strikes me as the weirdest thing of all time.  It sounds like it is built for kids but at the same time they say it was inspired by Key West which is the least kid friendly place in the universe.  Strange.   I can’t decide whether I think this is a good idea or not.  I mean if I had a family would I take them here?  I could see kids thinking this is cool right?    But you’d have to be out of your mind to be an adult and want to go to here.   Unless of course you love swimming in piss.    Plus who wants to go to an indoor water park in the summer?  And who wants to go in the winter when you are all gross and out of shape?  Or am I just over thinking this?  Is this water park just code for an excuse to golf at Ferncroft and not have the family be mad at you? Anyway rate how long you think this water park will stay open.   1 for 1 year and 10 for 10+ years.

Wait a minute, the last checked – you really couldn’t pay me to watch women’s basketball, nothing exciting ever does happen, the league has stayed the same for 10 years and the league legitimately has no future!  What is this a joke?   It is, but I mean is sarcasm really the way to go here for a league that gets lower ratings than (gulp) Major League Soccer? If this really is the new marketing campaign for the WNBA then the league is in even bigger trouble than I thought before seeing this “commercial”, which I still can’t believe is real.  It just can't be, right? Vote 1 for dude, the commercial is fake – no one would ever design or approve something this bad; vote 10 for this is an actual ad and the people who designed and approved it are getting paid more money than me.

More of the Princess of Sweden here...

PS - If you missed yesterday's Local Smokeshow click here because we posted it late.

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com

Celts in 5. I said it in the beginning and I'm sticking to it. By my math that means they need to win tonight.

If the Celts win tonight it will be because the 6th Man of the Year shirts are lucky and therefore you need to buy one. And if they lose tonight buy one anyways.

Introducing Erika from UNH.  I think this is the first Wildcat we’ve ever featured on the Stool.     This chick has a lot of Kristin Kreuk in her and anybody who knows anything about life knows that’s a VERY GOOD thing.

Do you know any chicks that are so hot they make you nervous?  Send them our way to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click for more pics of Ericka