Australian Soccer Commissioner Attempts To Give Out Championship Trophy, Falls On His Face In Spectacular Fashion

Listen I’m sure Frank Lowy, the guy who fell, is a nice old rich white man who still has an acute business sense and mind, but at some point you just have realize that walking isn’t for you. That fall wasn’t even your fault Frank, you’re 84 years old, there are a finite number of high pressure steps you can successfully navigate in a given day and going up that stage was just about it. Next time stay put, just stand and look rich, otherwise you’ll end up hanging on to a trophy in a last gasp to not suck your own dick as you break your spine.

I would honestly just have them get that curtain they bring out for injured horses and shoot me right on the field. Fuck it, gotta know when to fold em.