Wearing Your Party Shirt Can Prove To Be Problematic When You Get Pulled Over For DUI

4/05/2017 2:44 PM

NEWVILLE, Pa. (AP) – Police in Pennsylvania say they arrested a man wearing a Drunk Lives Matter shirt for drunken driving.
Police say 44-year-old Elwood Gutshall III’s blood-alcohol content was about two and a half times the state’s legal limit for drivers when he was pulled over early on March 19 in Newville. He was wearing a green St. Patrick’s Day shirt with the saying on it.
Online court records don’t list an attorney for Gutshall, who faces a preliminary hearing May 26.
Nobody answered the phone at his home Wednesday.

Poor Elwood Gutshall III was out just having a little darty session which never hurt anyone. Being a mere 2.5 times over the legal limit isn’t that big of a deal for an experienced drinker. Sure, you’re nearly in a coma at the point but should that stop the darty? No. No, it should not.

That’s the issue with drinking shirts. Sure, you look absolutely amazing in those bad boys. Everybody knows that. Keeping the ladies off you in a drinking shirt is hard to do. They are all like “OH MY GOD! YOU DRINK?!” and you just point the shirt. Next thing you know:

They are hooked. I’ve seen it a thousand times.

Flash forward a few hours later and you get arrested for nearly killing people and you get roasted on the internet because, you see, getting arrested in a drinking shirt while committing crimes drinking related is ironic. People like to make fun of that type of thing. Not me. I don’t because I’m a good person. I would never make fun of Elwood Gutshall III. I will point out that his name is outrageous. I have no problem doing that but I’m not even gonna mention the DUI while wearing a Drunk Live Matters shirt. I’m above that and so are you.

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