When You're Floating Around at Seacrets, Watch Out For This Bad Boy

WJLA - A 16-foot-long, 3,456-pound great white shark named Mary Lee has emitted a signal, or “pinged” off the Delmarva coast. The shark, which is being tracked by OCEARCH, pinged off the coast of Ocean City on Wednesday afternoon. OCEARCH is a non-profit group that researches great white sharks and other large predators. The group has been tracking Mary Lee since September 2012. According to her tracking device, Mary Lee has traveled 82.5 miles off the coast of the Delmarva peninsula in the past 24 hours. OCEARCH said it is not unusual for great whites to swim near the shore this time of year.

Just can’t win at Ocean City. My advice is to simply stay away. If you don’t impale your foot on a needle, you’re going to get eaten by a great white shark. Going to do some quick blogger math and yep, probability shows that if you go to Ocean City, you will die. Between the diseased water, the 4 you pick up at the bar, and the man eating sharks patrolling the waters, Ocean City is a death trap waiting to happen. Why am I so pessimistic? I don’t know…maybe because there’s a fucking 16 foot sharks swimming around. Can we do something about that? Oh good, the nerd squad is tracking it. Woop de doo! They also have nerds that track tornados, seems like that does a lot of good. Tracking a shark won’t do anything when it’s a massacre during MDW. Clean it up OC.

PS: TWO WEEKS TIL MDW. WOOOOOOOO.