Do You Think The Guys On The Islanders Have A Type?

The “type” being “extremely hot with sexy shoes.” In the center there you got Sydney Esiason in her shell toes. Shes the First Lady of the Islanders and – unfortunately for her, very fortunately for us – she’ll be wearing her leather pants for the duration of the Isles Cup Run.

Shoulda probably worn something a little more comfortable for Game 1, Syd the Kid! Rookie mistake. You always wear very comfortable clothes during the playoffs, that way when you get superstitious its easy to keep wearing it. Sydney has to paint those pants every game now.

Miss Cizikas…if I could type emojis on this blog, I’d be sending you the googly eyes

Damn girl.

Shout out to Mrs. Griess all the way on the right. Miss North Dakota in 2014. Whatever you were doing at home prior to last night’s 36 save performance, keep doing it. Seriously. Whatever it was, you have to do it. Poor Sydney has to wear those pants the next 2 months. We all have to do our part. Also I see you grabbing a handful there. Cant blame you one bit.

Mrs. Clutterbuck – I’d like to meet you and shake your hand because it takes a HELL of a woman to tame this:

Miss Tavares – The Princess Kate of the bunch. An absolute stunner. All royal and classy and shit in my mind. You hit the lottery and get to go home to thisssss guyyyy:

And Miss de Haan – I’m already happily married so you and I could never work out. Sorry. But in a different world I would gladly fight Calvin for you.

Chances are I’d end up dead in that fight but it would be worth it.

Every last one of them a smoke. Ladies, maybe we can all brunch together? Drink mimosas out of the Cup in June.