Nothing To See Here Just A Half Eaten, Shark Devoured Dolphin Carcass Washed Up On Wildwood's Beach

NORTH WILDWOOD – A half-eaten dolphin washed up on a beach in North Wildwood over the weekend. Karissa Kerns, 44, of Northeast Philadelphia, told NBC10 she was visiting the 4th Street Beach Saturday with her mother and 4-year-old son around 9:45 a.m. when they noticed a fisherman reeling something in. “I thought it was a sea turtle at first,” Kerns said. As they walked towards it however they realized what it was, a dolphin that appeared to be half eaten. “The lifeguard flipped it over and you could see a shark had grabbed it and chomped right out of it,” Kerns said. “You could see the teeth marks and everything. It’s spine was completely severed. It wasn’t a full-sized dolphin and it wasn’t a baby dolphin, it was mid-sized. At that point my mom took my son away quick because he was freaked out about it.” Kerns took a photo of the dolphin as lifeguards began to move the body. “One girl grabbed it and she carried it where the trashcans are near a sand dune,” Kerns said.

This was no boating accident. The impressive fact is that rotting, half eaten dolphin carcass is still not the most repulsive site on the Wildwood beaches. It might have been the best looking mammal on that shoreline. But it may be time to close the beaches. I value my neck for a lot more than a dip in the ocean, Chief. The last thing I need is to hop in the water to cool down and piss and have to worry about getting by torso severed in two by a big ass shark. I already have to keep the head on a swivel for kids and grown men 25 years too old for the Boogie Board. Those fuckers are essentially missiles catching that gnarly 3 foot wave. So shut it down and take care of the it before someone gets hurt. There’s no need to continue to ignore this problem until it swims up and bites you in the ass.

“One girl grabbed it and she carried it where the trashcans are near a sand dune.” I kid about trashing the place, but only in Wildwood can you throw a half eaten dolphin carcass in a standard beach trash can and nobody bats an eye. Seriously.