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Old Man Fights, Bathroom BJ's, And, Of Course, An Awful Loss...Just Another Home Opener For Your Philadelphia Phillies!

Smitty
Smitty4/12/2016 1:35 PM

Ah, yes. Opening Day in Philadelphia. Ever since the days The Vet the Phillies Home Opener Brawl has been the official start to the baseball season in Philly. Never fails. I mean, usually it’s a few Delco drunks squaring off with each other in the cheap seats and not grown ass men tumbling outside of Ashburn Alley, but to each their own. Although I think they may be a bit too old for a “Worldstar” shout out. That contaminated mating call is best reserved for those who have yet to ruin their future.

At least someone fought the good fight at the ballpark. Classy gal(?) right there. And is that door even shut? Pure, unadulterated savagery.

And of course it isn’t a Phillies home opener if it doesn’t feature an actual screw job on the field that dicks the Phillies in the face. Behold the 2nd ever infield fly rule that had warning track power:

Seriously. A ball hit a solid 200 feet in which the SS was still backing up to make the catch was called an infield fly. Look where that fucker landed!

fly

Cute. So here’s to 5 straight hope opening losses (2-9 in the last 11 years). And it’s a damn shame, too, because this young group of firecrackers could legitimately be 5-2 this season instead of 2-5 if it weren’t for this shit call and a bullpen that decides to spontaneously combust on the mound. Here’s to 154 of these damn things.

PS – At least this guy got what was coming to him. Those who don’t respect the bull get tossed into space.


Smitty
Smitty4/12/2016 1:35 PM