Phil Kessel Rips Into Toronto Media For How They Treat Dion Phaneuf

Okay so first of all, I think we need to address something very important here. Now bare with me, but I think something fishy might be going on in Toronto.

Pretty weird, right? Like what is Phil Kessel doing talking about Dion Phaneuf while standing right in front of Dion Phaneuf’s locker? Something isn’t quite adding up there because typically, you’d expect Trill Kessel to give an interview in front of Trill Kessel’s locker. The only reasonable explanation I can come up with is that Dion Phaneuf has learned how to control the mind of Phil Kessel and is now puppeteering him around as his White Knight. But now that that’s all out of the way, let’s talk about how incredible the scene is in Toronto right now.

The Maple Leafs locker room has been a complete shit storm for weeks now. We’re talking shit getting flung around at gale force speeds here. The city is getting fed up with the team and the team is getting fed up with the city. And yesterday’s NHL Trade Deadline certainly didn’t do anything to smooth over that situation. There were talks of Phaneuf being moved before 3 pm. There were talks about Lupul being moved before 3 pm. There were talks on TSN that people didn’t want Lupul to move because he banged Phaneuf’s wife (way to do your job, TSN). And finally today we have Phil Kessel just being the true American Hero that he is and putting those shitstain Canadian reporters in their place. Because every single word he said up there is right. Love it. Angry Phil Kessel almost as amazing as Thirsty Phil Kessel. I just want to feed the guy cookies and let him go off on a rant all day long.

Last thing: The Maple Leafs locker room is only going to continue to get better from here. Because from the looks of it, it seems that King Joffrey Lupul will be going full Beast Mode on reporters.

Get familiar with #nocomment

— Joffrey Lupul (@JLupul) March 3, 2015

Lupul, along with Phaneuf and plenty of other Leafs, will most certainly be moved this summer. And all I can say is that wherever he ends up, that entire city will collectively lose all of their women. Cue those eyes.