FUCK THE PACERS
Mitchell Layton. Getty Images.The Sixers series was weird because there was no real animosity from Knicks fans until Joel Embiid revealed himself as the cheap shotting, foul grifting scumbag that other fanbases have been complaining about for years. We are not here to talk about Jojo & Co. since they are soaking up the sun and frozen drinks in Cancun right now.
Today we are here to motherfuck the Knicks next opponent, the Indiana Pacers.
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First and most importantly, fuck Reggie Miller the player whose entire game was predicated on him running his gangly body through 1000 screens set by his teammates, flopping anytime his opponent breathed on him, and admittedly hitting a bunch of memorable shots in clutch moments while also lowkey coming up short in some massive moments as well that everybody conveniently forgets.
Fuck Reggie Miller the awwwwwful broadcaster who is only on TV because of what he did to the Knicks, causing all NBA fans to suffer.
Fuck Reggie Miller the man for (allegedly) pursuing married women.
Fuck the ref that didn't call a foul on Reggie for shoving Greg Anthony to the floor during the 8 points in 9 seconds fiasco.
Fuck the Davis Brothers who weren't even brothers but instead Midwestern bootlegs of Oak and Mase.
Fuck Market Square Arena for being a Midwestern bootleg version of Madison Square Garden.
Fuck Rik Smits for being a massive human being with uncanny touch and a cool "Dunking Dutchman" nickname. Fuck Dutch Boy Paints for making that nickname even possible.
Fuck Mark Jackson for being a shimmying asshole who ultimately never won a thing, even when he had all the ingredients of a budding dynasty in Golden State.
Fuck Larry Brown for being a nomadic prick of a coach that changed teams like underwear and saved his worst for when he coached the Knicks through one season of hell.
Fuck the Basketball Gods for everything bad that happened against the Pacers in the 90s since I don't want to blame the Knicks who did dumbass shit and missed open finger rolls in the biggest of moments not to mention the courtside celeb that fanned the flames that made Reggie Miller our boogeyman.
Fuck Roy Hibbert for ending the one fun Knicks season in a decade before becoming irrelevant in the NBA overnight.
Fuck Mike Woodson for not using Chris Copeland in that series despite being exactly what the Knicks needed, which was probably part of a wink-wink deal with Indiana University that got him the Hoosiers job almost 10 years later.
Fuck Tyrese Haliburton for whatever weird pre-draft shit that caused him to fall in the draft but not to the Knicks.
Fuck Obi Toppin for being the guy the Knicks drafted over Tyrese Haliburton and for giving Thibs shit last year.
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Fuck that we have to root against Obi this series.
Fuck Myles Turner for being in trade rumors every single year of his career yet somehow never being moved.
Fuck TJ McConnell for being a thorn in the Knicks side a couple times during the dark days.
Fuck Pascal Siakam for whatever he's about to do to the Knicks in this series.
Fuck the Pacers I don't even know about that I will inevitably hate by the end of this series.
Fuck Rick Carlisle for disrespecting Jalen Brunson back when he coached the King of New York with the Mavericks.
TL;DR - Fuck the Pacers. It's time for war. Gear up.
I don't want to make this entire blog negative so shout out Ben Wallace and the Malice At The Palace for killing the Pacers last great shot at an NBA Championship.
Now play us off Pat, Larry, and the greatest song ever created!