Full-Blown Fist Fight Breaks Out at The Garfield Movie

No matter where a public fist fight occurs it's always a joy to watch. Typically you'll catch the best ones in the concourse or stands of Philadelphia-based sporting events, or on an NYC subway car running anywhere north of 110th street. Chipotle customers are always a short scoop of barbacoa away from diving over the counter and choking out an employee. However, to catch at brawl at The Garfield Movie (14% on Rotten Tomatoes) is an unexpected treat. 

It makes sense for a fight to break out during a screening of Roadhouse, or at opening night of a Star Wars movie following a heated nerd debate over whether or not Han Solo was acting in self-defense when he shot Greedo. If you bring your lightsaber to the theatre you might as well use it. But how can tensions be so high at a Spanish showing of Garfield?

There's about 20 people in the theatre. Half of them children. I can't imagine there was an argument over seating. Perhaps one family was laughing a little too loud at Garfield's most recent sarcastic quip. I can see how that would set someone off. I know Garfield is a comedy, but if you don't catch every bit of dialogue you may not pick up on the subtle nuances that make it such a great piece of cinema. Or god forbid somebody took a peek at their cell phone, which we all know lights up the entire theatre in a way that makes the movie impossible for the rest of the audience to enjoy. Or maybe the cocktail of drugs these parents took to make sitting through 1h 41m of animated cat adventures with their 6-year old children interacted in a bad way, and when the two dad's locked eyes with each other they couldn't help but drop the gloves. If only they were speaking English, then we might know what started this fight. Unfortunately that's not the case, so there is no way of knowing. 

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I couldn't relate to hating Garfield. I'm a fan of Garfield myself. Not that I've read many strips. The only one I can ever recall is the time John Arbuckle accidentally drank a cup of dog cum at Garfield's vet appointment.

I'm more a fan of Garfield as a concept. He's a grumpy cat who hates Monday's and eats lasagna. Who can't relate to that? And the fact that Jim Davis has been writing a brand new Garfield comic strip nearly every day since 1978 is quite admirable. What a life that must be. Every day Jim wakes up, whips out a fresh sheet of computer paper, and crafts a side splitting 3-panel scenario that leaves newspaper readers across the world in tears. I can respect that. In fact, I respect it so much that I paid homage by attending Garfield's 45th anniversary celebration at the Milk & Cream Cereal Bar in Jersey City. 

Now you might be thinking, "Sounds pretty fucking stupid to celebrate a 45th anniversary. Is there something special about the number 45? Is Garfield a big Trump guy? And why are they teaming up with a stand-alone local ice cream + cereal restaurant in New Jersey? Who thought this was a worthwhile promotion? Are fans from across the northeast flocking to Milk & Cream Cereal Bar to get their paws on a Strawberry Lasagna Royale in honor of Garfield the cat?" 

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All valid questions. But the place is a 5 minute walk from my apartment. The least I could do was show face. The John Arbuckle drinking cum comic alone deserves at least that much.

To any parents reading this who are thinking of taking their children to The Garfield Movie, or any big-time Garfield Heads like myself who just can't get enough of the cartoon feline. Be careful this weekend at the theatre. Apparently there's something about The Garfield Movie that gets people fired up. 

P.S. Do you think in the Spanish version they roll the R in the middle of Garfield's name? I'm imagining that right now and it's making me laugh. Like Sophia Vergara saying the name Garfield in a very Spanish, almost seductive way. I hope they do. Or if they called him Garfieldo. That would pretty good too.