CNN Recommends A Good Old Fashioned Cuckolding

(CNN) In our current political climate, the term “cuck” — short for “cuckservative” — has become an insult of the so-called alt-right, aimed at men they view as spineless and emasculated. The slur has its roots in the concept of cuckolding, or having an adulterous partner.

But, according to a recent study by David Ley, Justin Lehmiller and the writer Dan Savage, acting on cuckolding fantasies can be a largely positive experience for many couples, and hardly a sign of weakness.

Goodness gracious, CNN. Allow me to finish lunch first before you recommend that I cuck myself in order to save my marriage. I mean, sure. My wife was a little upset when I said I wasnt going to do the dishes and that I was gonna kill myself but that doesnt mean that I should introduce another fella to our marriage bed.

Should I spend some more time with her on the weekends and not be solely wrapped into this world of football fantasies? Probably. Should I take time to go apple picking on the weekend? Yes. It’s a lovely hobby. Should I eat the cum of another dude off my wife’s bare stomach? Lord no. Not today. Not tomorrow and I dont wanna be presumptuous here but not even next week.

I’ll watch less sports and pick more apples but I ain’t eating the cum of another dude off my wife and I still aint doin the dishes! So, stop askin me about it, ok?!

You guessed it. I’m writing as the Steelers fan and I’m not a cuck.

Last note. Being cucked by a dude who drinks from a juice box is just demoralizing.