Craig Kimbrel's Agent Should Be Fired And Thrown in Jail for Pitching Teams That His Client Is The Best Closer Of All-Time

Craig Kimbrel’s agent going around town pitching teams that his client is the best pitcher of all time is all-time crazy. How does that conversation work? You utter the words “best of all time” and then start spitting out stats about ERA and OPS and then the person you’re pitching says two words….”Mariano Rivera?” Then you get laughed out of the building and leave without a contract. You could make the case that right now Mariano is the best closer in baseball. If he un-retired he would still be be the best. It’s like a knuckleball pitcher being able to pitch until he was 60. Mariano’s cutter will be able to saw off hitter’s bats until he leaves this Earth. It’s hard to take Mariano for granted, but after seeing what post-Mariano life has been in New York I think it’s safe to say we didn’t appreciate him for what he was. He might be the most dominant pitcher (starter/reliever) in the history of baseball. For what he did for that long, and that well in the regular season and postseason, it’s nothing short of remarkable. Now I don’t want to blow my load with this blog because when he gets inducted as the first unanimous Hall of Famer next year then I’ll have a 3,000 word blog all about his legacy. But for now? Let’s put Craig Kimbrel in his place.

Barring any conspiracy theories, twelve (12) men have walked on the moon. Mariano Rivera allowed eleven (11) men to score in his postseason career. That’s a real life stat. That gives him a 0.70 ERA in October/November over a 96 game span.

Craig Kimbrel has thrown a whopping 20.2 innings in his MLB postseason career. Impressive! Mariano? 141. For the record, Pedro only had 96.1 in his playoff career.

Kimbrel and Rivera have given up the same amount of homers in the postseason (2). Nice! The thing is Dirty Craig has thrown 120 less innings as I just previously stated. I’m sure the next 120 will be clean as a whistle!

Up until he retired, Mo has saved 31 games in the postseason where he got more than three outs. Up until 2013, that had only happened 32 times in the Wild Card era from any other pitcher. Kimbrel did that for the first time this postseason! Way to go!

Saves by Mariano at age 43: 44
Saves by all other pitchers since the creation of the modern save rule at age 43 or older: 46.
Craig Kimbrel is 30 years old and is already suffering from diminishing velo and stuff. He’ll be lucky to be throwing 75 mph by the age of 40.

Going by Adjusted ERA (an important new aged baseball stat) Mo has been the single most dominant pitcher ever, starter or reliever. On a scale in which the average pitcher rates 100, Rivera’s Adjusted ERA, over a 19-season career, is 205. Not only is that the very best Adjusted ERA in history among pitchers with at least 1,000 career innings, but nobody else is within 50 points of him. Pedro is the closest at 154.

I could literally have made this a 5,000 word blog about how amazing Mariano Rivera was and how there will NEVER be anyone close to him. I mean he did it with one fucking pitch. One. For Craig Kimbrel’s agent to go around saying his guy is the greatest of all time, he should be fired. He should be disbarred from ever practicing in this business ever again. He should be stripped of his license and thrown in jail.

Dave Meter, you can kindly go fuck yourself.