"Hi My Name Is Bernie Sanders. At Home They Call Me Big Bern. And I Hit Dingers"
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I’ll tell you what, man. I sure as heck hope there aren’t any drug tests to run for president because with how Bernie Sanders obliterated that ball into orbit, I have to imagine he’s on something. He’s out there murdering baseballs like he’s Mark McGwire or something. And you really just gotta love to see it.
Nowadays all the nerds have infiltrated baseball. They’re obsessed with made up stats like “launch angle” and “exit velocity”. But Bernie Sanders is here to remind everybody that calculators don’t belong in baseball. The only number you should care about is how many balls you have left to play with because Bernie Sanders is sending all of those bitches to the moon. Big Bern steps up to the plate and you can kiss that ball goodbye forever.
And on top of mashing taters, Bernie Sanders is out there on the mound dealing out a perfect game. I mean I didn’t get a chance to look at the full box score or nothing, but that’s one pitch and one out from Big Bern. He might not be throwing pure gas anymore, but it’s all about preserving that arm now and he’s got the stuff to do that.
P.S. – Notice how there wasn’t a single bat flip in that video. That’s how you act like you’ve been there before, boys and girls.