Phillies Trade For Perennial (2010-2015) Slugger Jose Bautista Because, Well, Why The Hell Not?

Cool, I guess. Gone are the days when Bautista was slamming 40+ dingers a season, but still, bring on Joey Bats! The Phillies are doing anything and everything to try to get some pop in the lineup between trading for Cabrera, Ramos, and now Bautista. If only they could hit 18 batters at once, they might actually have something here. Regardless, Bautista’s a decent option off the bench. He’s been on and (mostly) off for the majority of this season, but .738 OPS in last 14 games. Huzzah! This is also Bautista’s 4th team overall and 3rd quad in the NL East…this season. What a hooch. Hey, remember that time the Phillies were going to trade Dom Brown for Joey Bats in his prime?

Me neither.

Wait…remember Dom Brown?

Me neither.

Just don’t count on him in a bench clearing situation. I’m surprised this straight shot to the kisser didn’t knock him out of the show and directly back into the fetus.