I Got Nervous With Tiger Woods Today

So I finally made it to the PGA Championship today. American Airlines sent me to DC for the night just for shits and giggles but we got over that hurdle and arrived in St. Louis around noon today. Not ideal because Tiger Woods teed off at 8:20 but we made it nonetheless. I followed his round during layovers while taking numerous flights to undo everything done by American Airlines. Thank you Delta and United for the assistance in this mission. We were successful.

Upon landing, I thought there was a better chance I’d see straight than see Tiger Woods. I was wrong.

I rented a car, drove the 15 minutes to Bellerive, then took the media shuttle over because I’m credentialed. Tiger had finished about a half hour prior so I wasn’t expecting much and also we’re Barstool Sports and I always doubt that people really respect us so I really wasn’t expecting anything.

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We got our media badges and made our way to the gaggle. The gaggle, as I call it but no one else here does, is the more informal player interview spot where press toss questions to players post-round.

I didn’t even know if they’d allow us there, but we made our way towards the gaggle and — before we knew it — were playing sidewalk chicken with Henrik Stenson and Paul Casey. We tried not to fuck anything up then looked to our right and boom, there was Tiger Woods.

Now I obviously have a million questions to ask him about golf and life and dominating country club pussies and waitress’s pussies and the fusion but seeing him that close I couldn’t even speak.

Hand up, I was nervous. He’s just so delightful.

I imagine I felt much like Francis felt watching the Pup Punk drummer live at Irving Plaza — yes I want to have my way with him, and to get what I need out of him, but I also want to do it in a way that will make him like me.

Today I was nervous; tomorrow I’ll be ready.

It’s a big weekend for us.