Elle MacPhereson...51 Years Old...Still Got It!

Right now I feel like we’re in a Golden Age of old chicks staying hot. I’m sure its the plastic surgery. Maybe its just the era of personal trainers and fitness and health and shit. Maybe its just because these chicks know they can make a goddam boatload off of being hot so they do anything and everything to maintain.

Or maybe one of them has actually located the Fountain of Youth. I have this theory that Christie Brinkley is actually like the Supreme Witch in this Coven of Hot Chicks. She has the potion or the spell to keep chicks hot for life and if you’re in with her you get it. So when you look around Hollywood and you see chicks like Vergara and J Lo aging backwards, and chicks like Beckinsale that dont age at all, its actually because Christie Brinkley, H.B.I.C., has given them the elixir. Girls like Jennifer Aniston started on the elixir but then pissed her off and now shes aged a little bit. And clearly your girl Elle has gotten a taste as well. I feel like she actually was in the running for the top position as ageless hot chick but Brinkley beat her in the head to head matchup. Older, hotter, Elle couldnt quite dethrone the hottest 60+ chick in human history. But when you’re turning 51 this month and your dropping string bikini pics with a body that could walk down a VS Runway tomorrow if it wanted to, you clearly have access to something unnatural. You dont get the nickname The Body and maintain it into your 50s without some help. These chicks are all like the steroid users of MLB in the 90s and Brinkley is like the Barry Bonds of them all handing out the juice.

Kendall Jenner is next up. She’ll be the next Brinkley sitting at the head of the table.